To not be over what happened to me during covid/lockdowns

[ifyougochasingrabbits]

Just a few of the things I went through

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy. Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it. He was on half pay as furlough was only paid up to about 30k salary iirc and if you were on more it was employers discretion to pay the full salary which his work didn't. He was even applying for jobs at supermarkets and delivery driving etc and getting no where despite having a high level job at a major house builder.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them.

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends had views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.
And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school (this was due to my kids really struggling with them) My 14 year old said he agreed and some of them then found him on fb and messaged him insulted his looks and called him stupid and a fucking moron etc. This was actual grown adults.

a random person inboxed me on Facebook due to seeing my business ad and threatened to "smash my face in" because she thinks i was “endangering lives” by working

My neighbour reporting us to the police for having an illegal gathering. This "illegal gathering" was me, my H and our 3 dc having a bbq in the garden. Needless to say we all live together

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety in fact I minimised it to the gp. I was actually suicidal and the only reason I am still here is because of my kids and the fact my husband and parents had the same views as me. But I would secretly hope to die in my sleep and almost every day I would wake up and cry because I was still here.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids were doing and coping doing all their work, managing great. And knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut. One of my kids is still very unwell mentally and it all started with lockdowns

Oh and to add final insult to injury, in November 2021 I had to pay £5700 (which was part credit card and part all of our savings) privately for an operation that should have been freely available on the nhs. But cos covid they could not give me a date and I was getting more and more poorly and could not wait.

I am still angry and maybe I should get over it. But I can't. And There's probably more but these are the stand out moments. I'm doing okay now and I have a new business and I'm doing well, H has a new job as he could not trust his old place after covid. but I've been very low again recently with the anniversary of it all

I was literally just thinking about Who Moved My Cheese!

I agree. As I said before, I don't really care what OP thinks about lockdown or the science of things.

What is hugely evident is her inability to manage a situation outside of her control to the best outcomes for herself and her family. Seen it time and again.

I’m not actually sure what you’re going on about. No two situations are exactly the same, that’s why we search round for similar (not exactly the same situations). They help us understand elements of what is currently happening. They form the basis for at least part of an explanation.

I guess there’s a difference between knowing this intellectually and being above to do it, which is often where a good therapist comes in.

It wasn't easy on most people and lots of people found it a struggle 🤷‍♀️. It sounds like you're raising your children to be as contrary and argumentative as you are.

This is an especially goady thread even for MN

And that's all you can say because what they did was criminal and the OP isn't the only one upset and in fact wide awake to the biggest scam going. We willnher justice for the lives destroyed and excess deaths that are happening now. They lied through their teeth.

That is awful, im so sorry for your loss.

I know some people have suffered badly from covid but tbh I keep thinking more about those in Ukraine.

Imagine being at your desk one week and then in the streets with a rifle the next. The possibility of receiving a bullet in the guts and dying slowly in indescribable agony with your loved ones in another country. Or being captured and tortured by Russians.

Yeah, that's the stuff of nightmares.

The main risk of death was age, but people who were obese, had existing breathing problems or immune system problems were also at high risk. If you were young and fit you were at very low risk of dying but many younger people and children got long covid which caused disability for many months or years and some may have health problems for life.

Exactly. But poor OP had to wear a mask. And sadly only earned 30k during the pandemic. And is proud of raising a - which words should I use - feisty, disobedient child. No wonder she has PTSD.

Excess deaths in the UK March 2020, 107%, If the funeral directors didn't notice that I would be exceedingly surprised. currently 2.5%. The current excess deaths are mainly due to people not getting treated for health conditions, ie, not getting operations, or diagnosis, etc, due to hospitals being full of covid patients.

Some people were cowardly in my opinion.
Like my healthy colleague in his 30s, no vulnerable family members, who was literally first in the queue to WFH, leaving older and less healthy colleagues to do the essential office days (KWs) and banging on about the risk to his 'personal safety' of having to travel in on the practically empty train.
And my friend, who refused to meet her DD for a walk, who was struggling with her MH after giving birth in LD because it was 'too risky' as she (friend) was 51 and the government said it was more dangerous for over 50s.
And my 20s colleague, who wrote a letter of complaint about returning to our 'covid safe' office once restrictions were lifted because it was putting her at 'unnecessary risk'.
And anyone who wanted LD to go on and on, for other people to not go to the beach, to pubs, on holiday after restrictions were lifted, who called people legally resuming their lives selfish, without seeing the irony of their own selfishness in wanting others to modify their behaviour to indulge their fears.
Of course a level of fear was understandable. Particularly so if you had cause. But there's no doubt that there was a significant amount of self serving neglect of responsibility and hiding behind others who had no choice that went on too.

I can't help thinking you made life harder for yourself not complying with the school policy. Yes masks outside don't make much difference but surely you could have just done it for 5 minutes to make less drama?

It's awful that your mental health suffered though, it has been bad for a lot of people. My daughter still doesn't seem to much like going out (she's 4!)

@failedbluecup I assume you are insinuating that I am misusing the term PTSD.
Due to my son's disability, which can reasonably frequently take a permanent turn for the worst, there is a real possibility that what I was watching during lockdown was him starting a progressive downhill spiral, which could have ultimately resulted in his death. I know some people bandy the word PTSD around but I am not. Don't judge other people's situations.

Think of all the people who died from covid and their families and friends. Think of those who suffered from covid or have covid now. Think of those who have long covid. Your thoughtlessness is a disgrace. A small amount of kindness to others and empathy would have probably saved your business. I also dumped friends who said covid wasn’t a problem. Why bother with selfish people.

@Geneticsbunny no sorry. Got caught at work....

I'm sure this was worsened in covid when every medical facility was shut or at the very least not operating fully because yes people did die.

OP - none of this happened to you in covid. You were simply unable to wear a mask and ran your mouth on SM and got caught with the consequences.

This. OP gleefully gloating about her child's obnoxious behaviour was what made me realise she's "that" type of person. People threatening her on Facebook isn't acceptable, but I get the feeling she probably posted/commented in a similar vein as she is doing on this thread, so I doubt the unwelcome comments/messages came unprovoked. I would have some choice words for the idiots letting their kids rip down a school's safety measures too, I certainly wouldn't be using or recommending their business.

Sorry for the stuff that wasnt your fault but being outspoken at a time when people were scared and making everyone work around you and school hours because of your entrenched view ... yabu, that was of your own making.

PTSD is for a violent event from sexual abuse or violence .

Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:

This is a real armchair post from @failedbluecup

Unless you work in a clinical or research post regarding PTSD please don't spread this kind of thing - copying and pasting from a paper which you have not read is not helpful.

PTSD can occur following a variety of traumatic exposures, which can even include secondary exposure (e.g., hearing about a loved ones traumatic event). It's unhelpful to those with a diagnosis to imply their index event wasn't scary or frightening enough.

Masks have been proven to be totally pointless and ineffective. I never wore one. If you’ve lost friends because of your views then they were not real friends in the first place. My adult autistic son struggled and suffered throughout the whole pandemic and, as a result, my own mental health declined ((I have never suffered from mental health issues previously). I am only just mending. Ignore the critics here, you are not alone.

Some of these posts.... It's not the 6 year-old's fault. She's clearly not done an instinctive risk assessment of outdoor masks and distancing measures and decided they are not necessary and that she will therefore mock her teachers etc. She was 6 years old with a very angry and anxious parent who was praising her for being disruptive. OP - getting into more pointless online arguments is not going to help you. You have said your income has taken a turn for the better - if you had the funds talking to a professional would be a good idea. Whatever the rights and wrongs of what happened throughout the whole nightmare period, you wrote a lengthy post here about how angry you still feel and that is not good for you, nor your family.

Indeed i do know. I wouldn't have used them as examples were I in any doubt. I'm commenting on people whose circumstances i know, not a stranger on a train.

With regard to your DD, you weren't "unable to", you chose not to.

tbh, everyone had a hard time during covid - you weren't anything special, or unique. If anything, it sounds like many of your problems were as a result of your "I'm special" attitude.

Hmm, you have a daughter who is a "strong clever feisty girl who takes no shit"

I know a few parents like you and daughters like this.

The person who has abused and damaged your daughter is you. She isn't "strong, clever and feisty" she is ignorant, uneducated, and unparented. She has no judgement at all, and thinks doing irrational things will gain parental approval. This mind set she has also makes her extremely vulnerable - EXTREMELY vulnerable to further abuse, drugs, etc. YOu have taught her that she doesn't need to know or understand anything at all to be feted for wrong decisions and non compliance with authority.

She will be taking shit for her whole life, unless she pulls herself together, and understands what happened to her and why- at which point she will hopefully manage to overcome the damage and settle in to being a constructive member of society. But she will not have any further contact with you.

Of course, there might be a third way, in between her being a totally feckless, rudderless, unqualified teen with a huge chip on her shoulder, and innate sense that she knows everything and inability to be reasoned with, or a normal person explaining to her future partner and family why she has had to go non -contact with her mother. I hope she finds it. I have seen children like this go to either of these extremes, but I have never seen one find a middle way.

You are congratulating your self on the way she "takes no shit" now, but you will be crying about it in 10 years time. I have seen all this play out before.

I would strongly recommend you try and reign in the damage, now, as much as you can.