Avoiding an aquintance's holiday brags without coming off as a jealous hag

[AltyDalty]

Someone I know and see regularly on (group setting, we are not technically friends but frequent exchange of polite conversations) is a very well-to-do woman, living in a very nice house, expensive fashions and takes holidays abroad regularly (I mean like 5 times a year at least!). It's really doing my head in and for the sake of my mental wellness I muted/hid her profiles on social media. I get the usual advice that I shouldn't be envious, social media is not real and only displays curated version of her life bla bla... but everytime I see her living her best life I get pang of jealousy and puts me in a rotten mood all day. Now I'm not alone in this, someone else within the group also feels the same and we do often talk smack about her in private. I don't know if there are more others around feels the same but I suspect.

Yesterday out of curiosity I checked on her profile and she completed her climb to Mera Peak in Nepal which as she wrote one of her biggest dream, the post got so many responses (but I do notice only 1 or two people we mutually befriend reacted). When she returns to the country, AIBU if I don't congratulate her and pretend that I don't know about her milestone travel? If she brings that up my plan is to respond very minimally like "uhm ok" as I just can't fake it. I'm not happy for her.

So you muted her, but yesterday out of curiosity you checked on her profile and that's what's caused this, that's what's caused you to tell a forum of strangers that you won't be talking to her about her travels?

Have you considered not checking her profile and just chilling out?

You can feel whatever you like about her posting on social media but saying it’s tone deaf to LIVE that life…seriously? You think she shouldn’t spend her money on things she wants to do because other people can’t afford it? Don’t be ridiculous.

I’m as socialist as they come, I hate the wealth disparity in society and would happily pay more tax/abolish inheritance/operate everything as a co-op even if it disadvantaged privileged me, to make things fairer for people who have less. I volunteer and donate to charity. What I won’t do is stop going on holiday and enjoying it.

What can you do to improve life for yourself? I know it’s not as easy or simple as “get a better paying job” but a change of mindset would benefit you. She hasn’t done anything wrong.

How sad. I’m not rich by any stretch, I work hard and earn a decent wage as does DH, but after our bills are paid we spend every last penny on holidays. Travel is what we live for and I figured, you can’t take it with you, so spend it now.

I often take more than one holiday a year. Sometimes as many as 2-3 foreign holidays and then UK based weekends in between.

Often we’ll go away for a month or so at a time and I’ll post daily to my Facebook. I don’t make comments as such, just the title of where we are and a drop of photos from that day.

I’m not doing it to show off. I’m keeping a virtual photo album that I can look back on after I’ve returned to the UK.

I only really have actual family and friends on FB anyway, but I’m more than happy for them to mute me. Most don’t, as they comment under my pics. And in some of the pics we are doing incredible things like swimming with sharks or last year we were boarding the brand new Disney ship. So it probably does look like we are living our best lives.

But I’d be p’d right off if I found out some ‘friends’ were slagging me off for what I posted. Just mute the woman. She likely isn’t putting those photos there just to make you feel bad! They are happy memories for her and records of amazing things that are happening in her one precious life. If you cannot afford to do the same, that’s not her problem. She shouldn’t have to moderate what she posts to make you feel better. Just mute her…or like others have said, unfriend’ because what you are doing/saying is not very friend-like.

From the sound of it the woman is not the problem.

Can people not post on their SM anything just in case someone actively snoops and then get peeved off?

I would honestly just come off social media. I am so much happier since I did, ignorance really is bliss sometimes.

I would also say that envy/jealousy is natural to a degree and that people showing off is annoying anyway. I've got a colleague who is always talking about their new car/bathroom/holiday/house. I am in no way worse off financially than her, but it's still a bit annoying to listen to sometimes!

I understand that.. I have a fb friend who boasts all the time about her mortgage free life, her holidays, her childrens perfect results, the time she went to see her racehorse run in Ireland and went by a chartered plane etc.. the time she said that sort of thing then finished it off with ; 'And I won £1500 on a scratchcard!!'. I muted her.

But I did spend some time thinking about what it was that made me envious (aside from pretty much everything). The holidays were the biggest thing. So I then put alot of effort into looking at what holidays we had (Isle of Wight mostly) and started a separate dedicated holiday account and shoved every bit of savings into it. I can't compete at all with the luxurious 5 star things she has, but since then we have done a trip to Greece and paris and this year hope to maybe go to Cyprus.

I did wonder if that was a typo! 🤣

Why shouldn’t she post things like this? It’s her life and she can post whatever she wants…

Believe it or not - there are some people who are not affected by the cost of living and they can live their life how they chose. Yes it may be galling to some people but then sadly life isn’t always fair.

Also I highly doubt your ‘ acquaintance ‘ give two shits about how you “find her hilariously crass tbh and wouldn’t want to unfollow her as it’s all so cringe, it’s highly entertaining”

She’s too busy living her life up in fancy Hotels 😁

FFS, grow up, and stop being jealous. Good for your friend.
You come across bitter, resentful, and very jealous.
Your friend is not responsible for other people's financial difficulties. Let her enjoy her holidays and money. Be pleased for her.

Why shouldn't she post pictures of her holidays or achievements? Should people stop posting photos of their kids because there are people out there heartbroken because they are suffering infertility? Or stop posting happy relationship photos because someone else is in a bad relationship?

Her posting isn't 'shoving it down your throat' you have purposely sought out her profile to look and made your self feel bad, even though you knew it would. How pathetic.