To want DS to go to the best university?

[Oilrigger]

DS now has five offers from universities: three Russell Group, one a well-regarded uni but not RG and one a newer university (former poly years ago) offering him BBC (he is predicted AAB). The courses are pretty similar at all five unis (can't go into more detail because he would be furious if he found out I was posting on MN!).

He is adamant that he wants to go to the former poly because he likes it the most. He also reasons that he will have a more enjoyable and less pressurised time there and that he is more likely to get a good class of degree (2.1 or 1st) from the ex-poly - rather than a 2.2 from a Russell Group uni that he just scrapes into. So he is going to firm the ex-poly (he won't have/need an insurance as it is his lowest offer).

AIBU to want him to firm one of the more prestigious Russell Group unis and insure the former poly? DH says I am as it is DS' decision and he's the one who will be going to uni.

Don't be snobby. Lots of 'ex polys' have fantastic courses. Depends what he wants to do and where the best course is.

@Floofydawg
Why is going to a better university, by ranking, snobby? In your world no one would improve themselves by going to Oxbridge? Of course a DC with decent predicted A levels should aim high!

I went to a poly. I’m not against former polys. For work type vocational degrees, they can be great. For History or MFL, not so much. So it really matters what you study and where. It’s also lazy to think a poly is easier and you won’t have to work! That was a non grad job lies!

@ChocSaltyBalls
@Parker231
Yes all DC can submit poor applications and write poor tests at interview. DH sees that with engineers. Poor English is rife.

Of course not all lawyers work for London firms but RG academic degrees are still held by the vast majority of trainees. Manchester firms like Manchester university grads. Birmingham firms take more Birmingham grads. Even with university blind selection, guess which universities still supply the most trainees? Just because you don’t want £200,000 pa well before you are 30, others do. Maybe that’s why they went to elite universities in the first place?

Hmm it depends which RG uni really.
I went to Liverpool many years ago and I'm involved in educating its students now. From what I see and what they tell me, it is disorganised to the point of being chaotic. Its also way down the rankings for most subjects. I feel that I couldn't recommend it really.

On the other hand (non RG) Aston uni is blooming well flying along, at number 20 in uni rankings (from 22 last year). With excellent modern teaching and excellent graduate prospects. Particularly excelling in business and tech. Recruiters know this.

I agree with you @Stugs. SurfingNovice's last sentence rather proves the point I made earlier.

I assume that all these lawyers, bankers and financial services posters turn their noses up at anyone in the medical and teaching professions because a great number of medical, nursing and teaching degrees were achieved at non RG universities. Or do they ask for the CV from these people before they agree to treatment or deciding where to send their children to school?

If everyone's DC went to RG universities to study law and finance who would teach their children and who would look after them when they are ill?

There is nothing wrong with being aspirational. There is everything wrong with looking down your nose at someone who doesn't want a city job.

It's so funny that people think that magic circle law firms and City financial jobs are what everyone aspires to. I suspect that view is largely held by people at magic circle law firms and in City financial jobs…

News flash: a lot of people aren't primarily motivated by money. They want to do something useful. Or something creative. Or something fulfilling. Or even something which affords them the time to pursue a hobby, have a social life, travel, spend time with family and friends, protect their mental health and so and so on.

As evident from this thread, parents want their DCs to be happy; if earning oodles of money is what makes them happy, then fine, crack on. But if it isn't that's fine too. I think @jfl is on a wind up, but whether they are or not the sooner we get away from the idea that everyone is motivated by earnings, the better.

@EatYourVegetables as per my earlier posts, this is total rubbish. Many employers couldn't care less about A level results when they are recruiting graduates, and if you are applying for a Masters the vast majority of universities do not ask for your A level grades.

I love an organised uni! Swansea seemed much more organised than Exeter for example.

You can want anything that you like, but at the end of the day it is his time and money being spent on his education, unless of course you are paying for all of it and he walks away debt free.

We paid for DT’s but our request to them was that they chose a course and Uni where they thought they would be happy for three/four years. A risk with DD as she wanted a party location and turned down a place at St Andrews as she thought it was too remote.

I suspect many parents are making a significant financial contribution to their children's University education and I don't think it is unreasonable for them to be involved in the decision making process. And sometimes parents do see things that young people haven't considered, or have relevant experience and knowledge of value. But ultimately, pushing your child into a direction they really don't want to go is not likely to end well.

“ I done a maths degree…”

Presumably they weren’t overly concerned about basic literacy?

😆

This is my DD's life! Except she has several dogs.😁
She runs her own (creative) business. She isn't rich and she probably never will be. But she doesn't need to be. She has a good relationship, self determination and is doing what she loves. So she is happy. She would sooner chop her own limbs off than work for a 6 figure salary in the City. I do find it odd how many people equate that kind of thing with success. I can't think of anything worse. And I could probably have done it had I wanted.

“MFL is mostly a joke degree for not very bright students.”

Declared by someone who makes grammatical errors in English…

She would sooner chop her own limbs off than work for a 6 figure salary in the City. I do find it odd how many people equate that kind of thing with success.

DD feels the same. I agree with you. DD wants to feel challenged and fulfilled, and enjoy what she does. Obviously she would like a good salary as well. No-one wants to struggle financially.

Or maybe he just got done.

Of course not. I am sure my DD would like more money, but not at any price. And I think she will earn more eventually. Her business is expanding, which given that what she sells is a luxury for most people is pretty good in the current climate. But she is putting everything back into the business so at present has little disposable income. But she is ambitious, resillient and imaginative and I think she will be ok in the end. Not City lawyer ok, but by normal standards she's fine.
Some posters on here have a very weird idea of what constitutes financial difficulties. I would hate to imagine what those who sneer at a £50k salary would make of some of the people I work with who really are struggling. They perhaps lack the emotional intelligence to understand the lives of others.

The best uni is the one where he is the happiest

Ha ha, I went to a RG uni and have a management role at a FtSE 100 company, I’m in my 40s and on £63k not 200 . There are only so many 200 k jobs around. Hilarious that an under 30 thinks they will be offered jobs of that calibre and be respected and established enough to hold sway with decision makers… no wonder they are all depressed when they don’t make these unrealistic dreams. RG doesn’t make as much difference as one’s essential character and drive. Sure, it helps our grads if they are RG but at interview you put one next to an ex-poly candidate who shows better people skills, he or she will get the job . We actively avoid screening based only on uni because of inclusivity and diversity goals - goals any ftse company is now having to explain to investors

I went to Exeter and saw my tutor once

@HedgehogB
Ftse 100 was not what I was talking about! Obviously they pay their employees on varying pay scales though. My DD earns £200k gross at 30. So do lots of her friends. These jobs are obviously in London. Of course there are high earning young people! Just because you live in a bubble, it doesn’t mean others don’t have ambition. They are not unhappy either. DD loves her job. However few get it.

What a crock!!!!

That isn’t quite true in all professions.
Whilst we don’t chose based on whether a uni is RG we do like to know what uni it is.
As architects different unis have different specialisms.
Some are more tech based, some more design based.
If a person is fairly recently qualified and we want someone to do more detailing then we won’t necessarily be looking at the high flying design based schools. We’ll look at them when we want someone a bit more design savvy.
Of course the portfolio is the final clincher.

But again, it makes absolutely no difference to us if they went to Oxbridge, RG or other
Also, as PPs are stating here about grades. A lot of excellent designers are not good at written exams and their design grades and final grades will be pulled down if they don’t do well in the written exams. We re not interested in whether they know the makeup of concrete or contractural law when we want a designer so if they went to a good design school we interview them based on their portfolio.

🤣🤣🤣 not in my world.

Yes, nobody outside London is a high earner.