Teacher yanked my son..

[Sainsburysbunny]

Advice needed really. Just dropped my son at school, we were late due to a car accident which we witnessed on route to school this morning.

A support teacher let us in at the gate and walked us down to the front door. Son then was reluctant to go him, leaning on myself etc. He wasn't fighting or tantruming, he was quiet but definitely putting off entering the building. I was trying to usher him in when the support teacher grabbed his wrist and yanked him into the building. It wasn't a overly aggressive yank in that my son didn't react, he didn't say it hurt etc or fight it. But I did feel in the moment it was unnecessary when he probably would have gone in of his own accord once I'd spoken to him a bit etc.

I didn't say anything but have just got home and thought about it the whole journey. It's made me really uncomfortable and I want to phone the school. AIBU??

I'll add, the whole incident from arriving at the front door and him being physically yanked in was maximum 30 seconds in length.

He doesn't normally refuse to go into school.

OP if you feel your child was yanked I'd be absolutely talking to the school. He's 5 for goodness sake, there are nicer ways to lead a child into school that take the same amount of time as yanking.

For the love of God, woman! Nobody thinks it ok to yank anybody, we just don't believe there was any yanking involved.
Op has admitted to embellishing the facts, the "yank" was clearly a part of that.

For the love of god, woman! Stop minimising what’s happened and trying to give a different narrative of what’s happened, OP said yank and that’s the narrative the post is based on. So you don’t think it’s ok to yank somebody, so why then do you think it’s ok to do that to a small child? Huge hypocrite, right there!

It all comes down to what yank means to the OP.

To me a yank is a jerky movement that involves arm movement or very sudden body movement that is likely to cause a stumble to regain balance.

Only the OP saw it but what it sounds like to me is the TA firmly led the child through the doorway cutting short a potentially escalating situation.

To some it seems they think it means she swung him round her head a few times before lobbing him through the doorway 😂

Just look thro your previous posts and you will see where you posted it.I have standards for my kids, you read my post about how well my adult kids and teens are doing, then you laughed at it 🙄 Typical

Op also opened with this: we were late due to a car accident which we witnessed on route to school this morning, but later says they witnessed nothing at all, just saw a fire engine driving past 🤷🏻‍♀️
I'm taking the word yank as a similar lie exaggeration.

You're the one making stuff up, yes the OP said yank but also that they didn't know how to describe it. Why lock in on one word and insist that's the entirety of the matter.

As for stating others have no standards for their children because they disagree with your absolutist view is simple trolling

I am not making stuff up, how can you accuse me of making it up when it’s there in the OP 🙄 The narrative of the post and title is ‘yank’, it doesn’t change the fact it is still a yank which is still a pull/hard pull.

And yes it is a case of standards, some people have expressed it’s not a problem for their child to be ‘yanked’ ‘pulled’ whatever you now want to call it. I have a expectatation/standard where I wouldn’t expect a member of staff to ‘yank’ my child into school for whatever reason. Just like I wouldn’t yank/pull whatever you insist I call it, a person who need more time and patience.

Don’t be pathetic, how is having a different opinion and different standard for my child trolling 🙄

You're just regurgitating the same nonsense, post after post.
Tedious.

It is NOT necessary for a teacher to grab a child's wrist, stop gaslighting the OP.

You didn't say different standards.

You said no standards. I can only think you're baiting for a reaction.

There's a word for that

Allowing someone to yank your child does come across to me as lacking standards for your child, so yes, I stand by what I say. Again, if you don’t agree with yanking another person then why would you agree with another person yanking your child, that says to me you lack standards for your child.

Oh are you going to start name-calling me now, no surprise that was going to come next 🙄

Because you clearly were minimising what the OP said and tried gaslighting what she had said in order to justify your response. If you don’t like my responses, you simply don’t have to read and respond to them.

Gaslighting, really? Oh now I see it, you've just heard a new word from a previous poster and are trying it out.

So you continued picking on my posts because I used the same word as another person. Right 🤔 Read the definition and you’ll realise that’s what you’re doing. Again, you don’t have to keep responding to my posts and keep directing the posts back at me. I simply said to you if you’re not comfortable with pulling/yanking someone then why feel it’s acceptable to do it to a child, it’s hugely hypocritical.

And as I've already told you I don't believe this is what actually happened to her child. Teachers do head a child by their hand if the refuse to come in, that's what I believe happened. Just how long did you expect the teacher to wait when the other kids are already settled?you still haven't answered this. Or is OPs child so much more important than the other 29 kids?

At my children’s primary and secondary school, if a child was reluctant to go in, they would be dealt with by the pastoral team, who would have time to encourage the child into school. They wouldn’t be yanked or pulled in any way.

Although it may not physically have hurt your child, this just isn’t the right way to get a reluctant child into school. I would complain. I would ignore those minimising this, it shouldn’t have happened. This is part of what school staff deal with daily and I’m thankful that my children’s school deal with it well. All schools should.

Hope your son is ok.

You’re almost convincing yourself that happened when you wasn’t even there, that’s gaslighting at its finest. It’s a bit like a parent saying, yes I slapped my child but it wasn’t hard so it’s ok but it was still a slap. You’re trying to find ways to justify why it happened. The other children didn’t have to wait because it was support staff.

How was I gaslighting op by pointing out that she had clearly stated the child had witnessed a car crash on the way to school, then later said he hadn't witnessed it at all?

There was no obvious reason for him to be upset / distraught / traumatised, whatever, by this event that he wasn't even aware of.
So he was lead into school when he dragged his feet in the doorway.
Yanked is emotive nonsense.

Support staff still have other children to get back to. OP has already revealed that the boy didn't intact see the accident, what makes you think she didn't make up the yank part aswell? It's not gaslighting it's called giving my opinion.

Again, he was not lead into school, stop minimising to make it ok. I am not talking about the accident, I am referring to the yank to get the boy into school. It wasn’t known until later that the boy didn’t witness the accident until the OP clarified which is why I haven’t continued that narrative. My point still stands yanking/pulling children into school isn’t acceptable, there’s often a myriad of reasons why they don’t, this can range from anxiety, bullying etc. Yanking a child into school is not acceptable.

So now you’re saying OP made it up 🤦🏻‍♀️ You’re seriously clutching at schools aren’t you. You’re determined to prove yourself right and everyone else is over-reacting and their opinion doesn’t matter. I’ve not since mentioned the accident, I have referred to the yanking in all my recent posts.

You kept it up long after the OP said he didn't witness the accident. You only stopped when I pointed it out to you

I don’t think it’s acceptable at all, and I’m surprised so many think it’s fine.

But can you not see how the OP maybe over dramatising @Coffeeandcake15 especially when her child didn’t seem upset by being ‘yanked’. But like when children say the teacher shouted at me when all they did was talk slightly louder than normal, probably to be heard over the class.

Why did the OP say they had witnessed a road accident when they hadn’t at all