To stop doing DH's washing til he learns to wipe his arse?!

[AtTheEndOfMyWick]

DH and I have a pretty even split of household chores, washing is my job as 1) he doesn't know how to do it and 2) I actually quite enjoy it (until it comes to putting clean clothes away but that's another story...)

We have 3 DC, ages 2, 4 and 6. So doing the washing for everyone is a pretty full on job. DH seems incapable of two things which make it harder for me - firstly he rarely empties his pockets, which I've warned him about so many times.

But the second thing- I have no idea how to approach with him. He has the world's worst skid marks in every single pair of boxers. I just don't understand. Our 2 eldest kids appear to be better at wiping their arsed than he is. It seems to have gotten worse in recent months and its at the point now where I'm sometimes greeted by inside out shit smeared undies when I open the laundry basket, and almost throw up.

Needless to say I've got a case of the ick and can't imagine doing anything close to sex with him as it stands. The whole thing just turns my stomach and I'm sick of it.

What do I do?! How do I approach this with him? Honestly at my wit's end.

i’m flabbergasted

I wouldn't wash them OP.

Just tell him you won't wash his pants if they are covered in shit.
Tell him it is unacceptable and you will be putting them in a bag for him to deal with.

What he does then is not your problem.

Christ, we had that Izal medicated stuff. Anyone remember that?

It was like tracing paper and could smear even a ‘miracle poo’.

and he's getting in the bed with that same shitty arse and god forbid having sex, getting sweaty in the nether regions with you.

What is wrong with all those men that they somehow think it more manly to punt a flying pasty into the laundry basket rather than just to wipe their bumholes and cracks?

Surely it's they who suffer as much as anybody, as they're the ones who have to walk around with a stinking arse all day? Ugh, every time they fart, the unwiped pooticles must act as wind chimes and gradually dissipate into the wider environment for everybody to 'enjoy' <boak>

Ugh, every time they fart, the unwiped pooticles must act as wind chimes and gradually dissipate into the wider environment

😂😂😂😂🤮

If this is a true story 🙈, this is a good solution. It depends on what he’s like and how much pride he has when it comes to talking about toilet matters - maybe I’m being harsh but I think a grown man who consistently leaves skid marks for his partner to see and get rid of can’t have too much…

I also wonder if you could bin them and buy him a pack of plain black ones and put them in his underwear drawer. Hopefully he’ll get the message and, if he asks you where his old pants went, say something like what’s been suggested by Xrays above: “Oh, I noticed you have had an upset stomach recently. If it carries on, you really must see a doctor.” Everyone gets diarrhoea now and again, right? I’ll be shocked if he did this but if he gets defensive over his old pants, I’d say, “They were still stained after washing them twice.” He needs to learn how to wipe properly. I couldn’t put up with this.

Bowel cancer prevents you from rinsing the shit out of your own undies, does it?

Oh god
please say u don’t put them in the wash with everyone’s clothes like that

You just put them in the washing machine full of shit?
Id tell him he needs to go & soak/clean the shit off his boxers before they go in the washing machine, because I am not the hell doing it.
& if it makes him heave, imagine how you feel

Even if he does have a bowel issue, that does NOT excuse leaving shit stained underwear lying around for you to deal with. Insist he does his own washing from now on.

Oh dear god imagine the cling ons going on down there , he must stink. Reminds me of dh telling me when working on a building site his partner would take a dump behind a pile of waste and there would be a smell of shit off him all day in the van ! Absolutely couldn't look at the work mate the Same ever again. Stinky bum

Oh wow, I HAD to comment on this as I have the same problem with my DH. I genuinely think he doesnt wipe his arse properly and it has got worse with age. He is disgusting. When I mention it, he gets angry. I feel so bad for you OP. Mine drives for a living and claims its because of that.

@Itstimeforlunch707 sigh all you want. You chose to reply to a comment to another poster about a general type of commenter on here which was triggered by shit pants & the replies. It clearly hit a nerve.

You may not have said the OP should continue washing her partners filthy underwear but the immediate response to a man treating his partner like a domestic service being ‘be kind’ or ‘there must be a medical reason’ is far more sigh worthy than calling out lazy, disgusting entitlement for what it is.

Having bowel issues would not negate the fact he is a grown man with working hands and eyes who thinks leaving his underwear in this state for his partner to clean is not only acceptable but normal.
The only thing wrong with him is being too lazy to clean his own arse.

He claims he can’t wipe his arsehole because he drives for a living? And he expects you to wash them?

What a disrespectful and disgusting moron. Buy him paper knickers.

Oh god, it reminds me of one of those medical programmes on TV and this guy was complaining because people were telling him he smelt. He thought he had a medical issue and the poor GP just had to explain to him how to wipe his bottom.

It really is depressing.

Just stop washing his shit encrusted pants. How can you stand to be with such a mucky beast?

I'd like the contact details for that GP please.

Not hijacking the OP, just was so shocked someone else has this issue.

The odd thing is that I have no recollection of this being an issue in the earlier years together. We have been married near 25 years and it has really been in the last ten or so, with him in his 50's. He gets really angry when I mention it.

It might be worth suggesting that he goes to the GP.

Or buy this stuff? https://wypeuk.com/pages/how-it-works

He'll still have to wipe but it might work better than dry tissue.

My husband also did both. Focus on the stuff in pockets and tell him you are not doing his washing as you refuse to touch his icky used tissues or whatever because he won't empty them. Get a seperate laundry basket and tell him its for him. If any of his clothes sneak into the family laundry basket just take out and dump on the floor on his side of the bed. He will kick, scream, make nasty comments but eventually he will run out of clean clothes and has to wash them. That way you won't have to talk to him about his shitty pants. I haven't washed my husbands clothes in years, although I still have to clean out the washer drawer as he still doesn't understand how much powder to put in after five years 🙄

You approach it with exactly the same confidence & aplomb with which he chucks his shitty kecks into the communal laundry basket & expects you to deal with them for him.

How are you not angry & beyond insulted?

Just buy a separate basket, tell him to stop polluting the family one, & that he will be doing his own laundry from now on.

Mine drives for a living and claims its because of that.

Ugh, I hope he doesn't have one of those modern driving seats that boings up and down all the time to prevent aches and pains - it must act like bellows, puffing the smell out far and wide all day long.

Oh god, it reminds me of one of those medical programmes on TV and this guy was complaining because people were telling him he smelt. He thought he had a medical issue and the poor GP just had to explain to him how to wipe his bottom.

I have never forgotten that episode and Dr Christian's wording - he very tactfully advised the man to 'revisit your wiping technique'!

Do you have a spare chain and strong padlock, OP?

Oh yes, it was Dr Christian, I remember now. I can picture the guy's face as well. It was sooooo gross!