Would it BU to ask if it’s ok to do this at my daughters school?

[FamilyBusiness]

Hi all, it’s my little ones birthday in April, she will be six. Her birthday falls on a day she’s in school. My oldest son (10) is in same school, he is booked in for a feeding tube to be fitted (Cystic Fibrosis related) on the 18th of April. So we will be celebrating my daughters birthday a week early. But, WIBU to ask their school if I could pay for an educational animal visit for my daughter & her whole class for her birthday it’s a one hour visit.

As she has Autism & is going to be distraught that her brother is going in hospital (I’m dreading it) & I think it would really cheer her up & take her mind off it especially going in to school on her Bday knowing her brother isn’t there that day. Even though we will be celebrating together the week before, he will be in hospital at the time & so she won’t see him in school that day.

I don’t want to email the headteacher if it’s a bad idea, it will be an educational visit with bunny’s, birds, insects, etc etc. Thanks

The only way I could see them agreeing is you pay for the day and it goes ahead but there can't be any mention that it's for your child's bday or funded by you. You wouldn't be able to make it a special thing for your daughter, it'd have to be a treat for the entire class. Otherwise the rest of the class will be suggesting other educational fun things for their kids bdays. You are effectively asking the school to host your child's birthday party.

I would expect them to say no.

Just because of the precedent it sets.

And because usually they'd bring in those sort of visits for a year group, not a particular class and it isn't equitable.

I hope your son's surgery goes well.

School budgets are shot to pieces at the moment. I think a lot of headteachers would be delighted by an offer like that. I’d talk to the Head and see what they say. A parent paying for an educational activity like that would be welcomed in plenty of places. I don’t see insurance or risk assessments as an issue either. Organisations that do these sorts of visits will have a risk assessment that they send to schools and they will also have insurance themselves. We often have educational speakers and presenters into school pretty short notice without any issues. We’d bite the hand off a parent offering to pay.

I think a lot of schools would go for this if it fitted in with what they already have planned. It's no different than the PTA paying for the event. Don't be put off by the usual negative nellies on here, just ask.
MN is a great place to see crabs in buckets in action.

I wouldn't, appreciate you want to make it a special day for your DD but you need to arrange something for after school.

Outing and it sounds absolutely ludicrous but I swear this actually happened..... a few years ago, one parent took it upon themselves to arrange an extravagant birthday invite ritual. Didn't ask the school but her DDs birthday party was Harry Potter themed and she arranged it with an animal keeper friend who had owls, they arrived in the morning as the kids were going in and flew round the school with scroll invitations. It was fucking carnage!! Teachers were out of their heads, kids were screaming (half in excitement, half in fear) then other kids were crying that they hadn't got anything from the owl, I have no idea what the hell she was thinking.

Ask the school. You can only ask and they can only say yes or no. I'd say they would be worried about setting a precedent as everyone will want to do similar

I think that sounds lovely. Email the school and ask.

Ask. Most schools have these type of visits anyway but probably can't afford it anymore due to budgets. They will probably say they can't say it's from you or for your DD's birthday because, as you can see from the responses here, some people will get offended.

I don't think people appreciate that you can't just have a boat load of school kids at your house when you've got a child with CF that's just undergone surgery.

I would ask actually. Initially I thought you meant could you pay for a class trip which they probably wouldn't be able to do as that requires coaches, extra staff etc.
But having a company come into school and do an educational visit with animals? They would likely give it some consideration, but would you consider making it an autism awareness activity? Your daughter is facing a challenging situation, as well as your son and it's important we show children how these changes impact people in different ways.

It sounds like a lovely idea. Go ahead and ask the school if they would be happy to have this incursion. They might say yes, they might say no, they might say yes with conditions, but it’s still a lovely idea.

Just ask! I’m sure our school would allow it. Knowing my son’s teacher she’d weave it into the curriculum somehow! They can just say no.

The owls went in the school?
This is hilarious, she could be the queen of cheeky fuckers 🤣

Take a risk and ask. Worst that can happen is they say no and best is they say yes. My kids school often have the animals visit and in the school I work exactly what you asked about happened, that a child's parent paid for a visit. The kids loved it as did the teachers!

What's that got to do with Op's idea? She's asked if she would be unreasonable to ask her daughter's school...

Honestly Op, the school I'm working in at the moment would probably take you up on this if they could. They might suggest that your sponsorship was via the PTA (who regularly help out with the costs of visits and trips) and not personalised to be associated with one child's birthday. They might want to investigate if the whole school could benefit (quite a small primary) but they wouldn't dismiss this out of hand.

There's no harm in asking, ignore all the people saying no... my school would love it...

Definitely ask, if the school be used these guys regularly they know the score, so it's up to them. They can always say no, and you just have to respect they of they do. Can't believe how rude PPs are being.

I'd ask OP, as long as you can take no on the chin and not cause a fuss there's no harm done. I'm a primary school teacher and we would love this, there are plenty of ways to include this in the curriculum and due to budgets for the last visit like this we paid for it between ourselves (teachers). We would say though that it wouldn't be sold as a birthday gift or experience for your daughter although it would surely be special for her if it was on her bday anyway just as this could cause issues.

Our school, given the circumstances, would be ok with this. TBH the PTA has often pitched in for similar.

No harm asking!

This sounds like a great approach.

Wow people are crazy?
The likelihood is that the company would have its own risk assessment and it wouldn't take anything extra from staff.
Extraordinary comments from people...

I think you should ask on the understanding it might be feasible. When I was Chair of the PTA the head was supportive of lots of things to support families facing difficult stuff behind the scenes.

As for setting precedents, a Paddington stare and steely "because you don't have a child with cystic fibrosis and another with autism" shoukd suffice.

Yes this!

OP I can't believe some of the harsh comments considering bathe situation and the nice thing you are trying to do.

I think it's a lovely idea and you can only ask.

I really hope all goes well with your son. And your daughter manages ok.

Nice idea, but it's not the parent's place to organise school trips and disrupt the school. It's not as simple as just booking a trip. There's transport, adult to child ratios, H&s/risk assessments. The school will have planned the curriculum and I doubt the trip will tie in to that.
Plus, if they did agree, you are putting pressure on other parents to organise similar. It's a lot of money. Can you imagine how much school would be missed from trips every week or so?
Just have a party at the weekend, or something smaller after school. Don't disrupt the school day just because it would be 'nice.'

I think it's going to depend on the school - I don't recognise the descriptions of a 'packed curriculum' other posters are talking about, but presumably they would find my children's school very strange. I've taken ducklings into school for my 6 year old's class, and I know others have taken in puppies. I think if it's framed as an educational thing for the whole class, and not as your daughter's birthday treat, it might be fine.