Page 9 | DH ate extra lasagne and didn’t tell me

Lolabear38 · 2023-03-21T23:01:48+00:00

I’m currently at home with 2 poorly DCs. We are all getting cabin fever so I may be over reacting a little here. Yesterday I made a big lasagne for our tea. We had it with salad, corn on the cob and garlic bread so it was a substantial meal. There was enough leftover for us to have tonight (planned). I said as much to DH and he said ok fine, he said liked it a lot so was happy to have it again tonight. I went to bed before DH last night and, unbeknown to me, he had another portion of the lasagne and didn’t say anything to me. Normally not an issue but as I said I was planning on us having it tonight too. Today has been a hard day with the kids but I thought ‘oh at least dinner is sorted’ except when I went to get the lasagne I was bloody annoyed to see we were one portion down! I hadn’t looked at it all day today as when I put it in the fridge last night there was plenty. DH was working later tonight so DC and I ate before he got home. I considered giving everyone a smaller portion but then I thought, f$&@ it, we’re having a normal portion and DH can have whatever is left, which is a lot less than he usually would have. He’s now home and very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night! There is plenty of bread/ baked beans etc. for him to make himself something else but AIBU to be annoyed and not to have left him enough tonight?

LuluLehman · 22/03/2023 08:53

whatevrrrr · 22/03/2023 08:51

Bloody hell - talk about mountains and molehills.

I suggest you all forget it and move on, OP.

Really? Where’s the fun in that?

Barbecuebeans · 22/03/2023 08:53

ChinoiserieNerd · 22/03/2023 08:43

I completely agree with @Mortimercat and that doesn't make me a downtrodden handmaiden. Yes, OP's DH was a bit inconsiderate and definitely shouldn't have complained about the small portion that was left for him, but people are so incredibly petty on here. We all have annoying habits or do something a bit thoughtless occasionally, but in an otherwise good and loving relationship, it's nice to be a bit more forgiving and generous about these things. Don't sweat the small stuff and save your energy for the actual problems life will throw at you eventually.

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Actually that's a perfect response in your last sentence. Except for the DH, not the OP. She's the one who's been looking after the sick children. He should get a grip.

ChinoiserieNerd · 22/03/2023 08:54

Naunet · 22/03/2023 08:45

Aww such good girls.

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Nothing to do with being a woman - I'd expect the same from my DH. We happen to actually like each other and wouldn't argue about minor crap like this. We've both on occasion polished off food that wasn't supposed to be eaten (yet), including nice chocolates or shortbread that had already been bought / baked as a present for other people. It can be a bit annoying, but it's only food and really not that big a deal.

Maray1967 · 22/03/2023 08:54

Timmysbagel · 21/03/2023 23:32

What did he think would happen when he ate his portion last night? That it would grow back? 🙄 He obviously expected you/kids to go without or you to make him something else, neither of which are nice of him.

Exactly this. He needs to be firmly challenged on his assumption that you and DC should have eaten less so he could have three portions.

Hope he’s learned his lesson.

Barbecuebeans · 22/03/2023 08:56

CountZacular · 22/03/2023 08:28

It’s really clear that YANBU, but this is a really interesting thread to get some stats on the handmaidens, MRAs and troll that frequent the board. If we take the poll as representative, that’s about 7% of total posters.

However, they disproportionately post on the dickish husband threads, so probably more like 5% of total MN.

Barbecuebeans · 22/03/2023 08:57

ChinoiserieNerd · 22/03/2023 08:54

Nothing to do with being a woman - I'd expect the same from my DH. We happen to actually like each other and wouldn't argue about minor crap like this. We've both on occasion polished off food that wasn't supposed to be eaten (yet), including nice chocolates or shortbread that had already been bought / baked as a present for other people. It can be a bit annoying, but it's only food and really not that big a deal.

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So you're saying the DH shouldn't have got annoyed then, because the food had been eaten. Not that big a deal DH. Stop calling me selfish. Sounds like you're agreeing with the OP. Glad that's cleared that up.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 22/03/2023 09:00

YADNU and I would have done exactly what you did. I'm not even sure it's about him being selfish, more like he just didn't fucking listen to what the OP said the night before and assumed that the usual free for all rules applied. And now he's gone on the attack because he doesn't want to admit he didn't listen. If he genuinely forgot what she said then he's got serious problems (and if he just ignored it and thought I'm hungry so I'm going to eat it and I don't give a fuck how it affects my family then there are far bigger problems in the relationship).

Food shaming ffs

Jonei · 22/03/2023 09:05

LuluLehman · 22/03/2023 08:44

Do people really eat crisp sandwiches? Really?!!! Potato in bread? Carb on carb? I can’t….I mean, really?? This country is more troubled than I thought. Crisp sandwich for tea?

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No wonder we have an obesity problem in the UK. 😂

full house bingo

Naunet · 22/03/2023 09:06

ChinoiserieNerd · 22/03/2023 08:54

Nothing to do with being a woman - I'd expect the same from my DH. We happen to actually like each other and wouldn't argue about minor crap like this. We've both on occasion polished off food that wasn't supposed to be eaten (yet), including nice chocolates or shortbread that had already been bought / baked as a present for other people. It can be a bit annoying, but it's only food and really not that big a deal.

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No sick kids in the mix then? Almost like it’s a different situation…

dexterslockedintheshedagain · 22/03/2023 09:06

MeinKraft · 22/03/2023 08:06

Anyone else planning lasagne for dinner now?

Yup, me. I was wondering what to do tonight when I happened across this thread.....😂

Jonei · 22/03/2023 09:06

ChinoiserieNerd · 22/03/2023 08:54

Nothing to do with being a woman - I'd expect the same from my DH. We happen to actually like each other and wouldn't argue about minor crap like this. We've both on occasion polished off food that wasn't supposed to be eaten (yet), including nice chocolates or shortbread that had already been bought / baked as a present for other people. It can be a bit annoying, but it's only food and really not that big a deal.

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Sounds a bit doormat. Have you considered marriage guidance?

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 22/03/2023 09:09

We've both on occasion polished off food that wasn't supposed to be eaten (yet), including nice chocolates or shortbread that had already been bought / baked as a present for other people. It can be a bit annoying, but it's only food and really not that big a deal.

I think this probably illustrates a major difference between households. In our house none of us would dream of just eating obviously special food that we found without asking. If my DH had bought his mum some special chocolates (maybe for Mothers Day) I wouldn't dream of just thinking ooh chocolates, they look nice, I must try one. And if he did that to me I would be livid and he'd be going out and buying more straight away. It just shows such a lack of thought and respect.

ChinoiserieNerd · 22/03/2023 09:11

Barbecuebeans · 22/03/2023 08:57

So you're saying the DH shouldn't have got annoyed then, because the food had been eaten. Not that big a deal DH. Stop calling me selfish. Sounds like you're agreeing with the OP. Glad that's cleared that up.

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I did say in my first post that he shouldn't have complained, so I'm not sure what your point is. Of course the OP's husband is the one mainly at fault here, I just think it still would have been nice to send him a quick text telling him to pick something up on the way home if he wants more than the small portion that was left. Yes, he should have known that there probably wouldn't be much left for him because he'd eaten his share, but in my relationship we would have given each other the benefit of the doubt and it's just such a ridiculously petty thing to be annoyed over.

LadyHaHaHeeHaw · 22/03/2023 09:12

Daleksatemyshed · 22/03/2023 08:49

Some of you are deliberately missing the point, bugger the Lasagne, it's the entitlement that bothers the Op. She made the dinner but he thinks he's entitled to three portions and everyone else makes do with what's left.

^
This with bells on
As for the Yummy crisp sandwich comment - priceless 😂

BadNomad · 22/03/2023 09:13

I would have played dumb and said "Oh, I knew you were working later tonight, so when I saw a portion of lasagne missing I just assumed you took your dinner to work with you. Especially since you didn't say you'd helped yourself to a second portion last night."

ChinoiserieNerd · 22/03/2023 09:15

Naunet · 22/03/2023 09:06

No sick kids in the mix then? Almost like it’s a different situation…

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Sending a quick text takes a few seconds....not sure why caring for sick kids (who appear to be well enough to eat a proper dinner, so presumably not an Armageddon D&V type situation) would be a barrier to that.

ChinoiserieNerd · 22/03/2023 09:19

Jonei · 22/03/2023 09:06

Sounds a bit doormat. Have you considered marriage guidance?

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Not a doormat, just not a petty score-keeper noting down any minor transgression in an Excel list.

coconutpie · 22/03/2023 09:21

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/03/2023 01:03

I would ask him directly....

"So you ate two dinners last night, and expect me and two sick children to eat substantially less today so you could have a third dinner when I made it very clear that this was a "two dinner each" lasagne? Are you seriously suggesting that me feeding us properly and you eating your dinner a day early and still expecting the same tonight is ME being selfish?"

Exactly this.

OP, YANBU. It is your "D"H who is being a selfish twat.

diddl · 22/03/2023 09:22

ChinoiserieNerd · 22/03/2023 09:15

Sending a quick text takes a few seconds....not sure why caring for sick kids (who appear to be well enough to eat a proper dinner, so presumably not an Armageddon D&V type situation) would be a barrier to that.

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Why should Op chase around asking him what he wants when she had already sorted his meal for that evening?

whatevrrrr · 22/03/2023 09:24

LuluLehman · 22/03/2023 08:53

Really? Where’s the fun in that?

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JazbayGrapes · 22/03/2023 09:28

Just miscommunication. OH can go order himself a takeaway if unhappy.

silverbubbles · 22/03/2023 09:31

You did exactly the right thing.

Teder · 22/03/2023 09:32

OP could have sent a “quick text” but equally so could her husband have sent one to say he’d eaten extra so she should at least know. 🤷🏻‍♀️

ImustLearn2Cook · 22/03/2023 09:34

I think the Op deserved a break after having a hard day and looking after sick kids. The leftovers gave her a break from organising dinner for one night. She did the right thing and didn’t sacrifice her well earned break. Good on her.

ChinoiserieNerd · 22/03/2023 09:35

diddl · 22/03/2023 09:22

Why should Op chase around asking him what he wants when she had already sorted his meal for that evening?

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Because it takes about 10 seconds to send a quick text? Because in a loving relationship it's nice to be generous about these things even if the other person is in the wrong? I'd hate to live with someone who had so much righteous indignation about every single little mis-step of mine.