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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH ate extra lasagne and didn’t tell me

1000 replies

Lolabear38 · 21/03/2023 23:01

I’m currently at home with 2 poorly DCs. We are all getting cabin fever so I may be over reacting a little here.

Yesterday I made a big lasagne for our tea. We had it with salad, corn on the cob and garlic bread so it was a substantial meal. There was enough leftover for us to have tonight (planned). I said as much to DH and he said ok fine, he said liked it a lot so was happy to have it again tonight.

I went to bed before DH last night and, unbeknown to me, he had another portion of the lasagne and didn’t say anything to me. Normally not an issue but as I said I was planning on us having it tonight too.

Today has been a hard day with the kids but I thought ‘oh at least dinner is sorted’ except when I went to get the lasagne I was bloody annoyed to see we were one portion down! I hadn’t looked at it all day today as when I put it in the fridge last night there was plenty.

DH was working later tonight so DC and I ate before he got home. I considered giving everyone a smaller portion but then I thought, f$&@ it, we’re having a normal portion and DH can have whatever is left, which is a lot less than he usually would have. He’s now home and very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

There is plenty of bread/ baked beans etc. for him to make himself something else but AIBU to be annoyed and not to have left him enough tonight?

OP posts:
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Butchyrestingface · 22/03/2023 08:23

Is there some sort of pandemic of stupidity amongst men atm. Every time I open a thread at the moment. I just think “what a dickhead”. Mean selfish and stupid.

Stupid men is no surprise to me. More demoralised by the handmaidens with internalised misogyny on this thread ever ready to mop their fevered brows.

LookItsMeAgain · 22/03/2023 08:23

Radyward · 22/03/2023 00:16

So what if He ate another slice !! It was yummy and He is a man so its likely He has a big appetite. .
Ok you had din din planned for this pm-knew ye would be short for Tonight. He was at work all day while you also worked in the home. I would be mightily fed up if I was him. You were deliberately inconsiderate esp knowimg his dinmer would be tiny.you could have thrown on a bit more pasta/ or even forwarned him re - tiny meal .it feels punishment for daring to have the munchies the night before -very petty OP.
Ye have a home that ye live and he has every right / not to chomp on more lasagne. Your reaction and behaviour is a bit seargent major
You need to apologise

I beg your pardon?

She has to apologise for him having already eaten his second portion of his dinner???

Run that by me again???

CremeEggQueen · 22/03/2023 08:26

I've voted YABU just on the basis you have left over lasagne - it lasts all of 5 seconds in this house 😁
Although it was a twatty thing to do if you were planning on it for dinner.

Lydiahateswashing · 22/03/2023 08:27

YearsOfStagnation · 22/03/2023 08:13

Cringe. These kinds of replies are the worst.

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Gosh!

Seems I’m in the minority. I don’t personally feel a need to burn my bra over it, but maybe that’s just me. Tell him he’s a tit and to move on.

Goodness knows what the level of outrage on MN would have been if her partner had raided a premium fridge prize. Like a leftover Chinese / Indian takeaway 😱

CountZacular · 22/03/2023 08:28

It’s really clear that YANBU, but this is a really interesting thread to get some stats on the handmaidens, MRAs and troll that frequent the board. If we take the poll as representative, that’s about 7% of total posters.

ParkrunPlodder · 22/03/2023 08:28

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 21/03/2023 23:06

He chose to eat his yesterday! What was he expecting to happen?!

Sounds like he was expecting it to inconvenience the op not him and was cross when that didn’t happen. Op, what interests me is that you imply you would usually let it inconvenience you rather than him and only didn’t because you were on your last tether. People tend to be genuinely shocked when this happens and he probably genuinely does feel aggrieved… my solution to that would be to get him used to it more so it’s not such a shock!

MarshaMelrose · 22/03/2023 08:31

WhatInFreshHell · 22/03/2023 06:18

What a stupid comment

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Quality comeback there. 🙄

isitjustmey · 22/03/2023 08:33

What a selfish thing to do. YANBU

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 22/03/2023 08:34

ParkrunPlodder · 22/03/2023 08:28

Sounds like he was expecting it to inconvenience the op not him and was cross when that didn’t happen. Op, what interests me is that you imply you would usually let it inconvenience you rather than him and only didn’t because you were on your last tether. People tend to be genuinely shocked when this happens and he probably genuinely does feel aggrieved… my solution to that would be to get him used to it more so it’s not such a shock!

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Sounds like he was expecting it to inconvenience the op not him and was cross when that didn’t happen.

^ This is well put, nice and succinct. I’d be tempted to say that to him.

speakout · 22/03/2023 08:35

Itv would be a non issue in our house.

OH ate his second portion, so misses out the next day.

Simple.

( But I rarely cook for OH)

Barbecuebeans · 22/03/2023 08:36

What?

I would have said, you had yours last night so I'm guessing you're having a sandwich for dinner tonight? No way would I be making him a separate meal.

CremeEggQueen · 22/03/2023 08:37

Lydiahateswashing · 22/03/2023 08:27

Gosh!

Seems I’m in the minority. I don’t personally feel a need to burn my bra over it, but maybe that’s just me. Tell him he’s a tit and to move on.

Goodness knows what the level of outrage on MN would have been if her partner had raided a premium fridge prize. Like a leftover Chinese / Indian takeaway 😱

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Eating all the leftover takeaway is a definite LTB scenario 😳😁

Mortimercat · 22/03/2023 08:38

BarbaraofSeville · 22/03/2023 08:01

I didn't know they had mobile phones in the 1950s before women realised it wasn't their responsibility to ensure that adult men had access to ready to eat food whenever they wanted without having to put any thought or effort into preparing it.

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I have not said anything about responsibility, you have dreamt that up. My husband would equally consider what I am having for dinner if I am the one that is out and he is in. We are nice to each other, I know that is a very weird concept for some posters on mumsnet.

CleaningOutMyCloset · 22/03/2023 08:41

Those posters who are saying the op could have made additional food for him, yes she could, but equally he could have made himself something else to eat last night rather than eating the next days dinner. He's a grown man and perfectly capable of sorting beans on toast if he's that hungry

DizzyLizzyKizzy · 22/03/2023 08:41

So who now fancies homemade lasagne for dinner tonight..... I do!

😋

MarshaMelrose · 22/03/2023 08:43

aloris · 22/03/2023 03:59

You've written a very strange series of posts. It was very clear in the OP that she wanted to eat lasagna both nights, so your personal preference for crisp sandwiches is irrelevant here. Homemade lasagna is delicious and it's quite a bit of work to make, so it's reasonable for it to be shared out fairly. The OP's dh took his second portion ahead of schedule, even though he was told it was being saved for everyone to have the next day at dinner. Then he seemed to assume that everyone else should have an insufficient portion so that he could have a third portion and accused the OP of being selfish when she didn't comply with King Husband's taste buds coming before everyone else's welfare.

You then, leapfrog in to the thread and start making comments about how you would have used the [husband-created] lasagna dinner deficit as an excuse to have a crisp sandwich. Let me hereby give you permission to have a crisp sandwich any time you want, because a crisp sandwich is zero effort to make, does not taste better than, well, than plain crisps, and has no nutritional value. Homemade lasagne is special. A crisp sandwich is not special. Having a crisp sandwich is not taking advantage of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity happily provided to you by King Husband's eating too much lasagne. It's concocting an excuse to fake like his behavior is ok by expecting the woman to absorb the effect of his selfishness at her own expense and even pretend that she likes it.

Also, if crisp sandwiches are so great, then maybe OP's husband should have just had one of those instead of complaining about how everyone else should have tightened their belts for dinner so he could have had a THIRD piece of lasagna take food from his kids' mouths.

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😆 I've seen shorter critiques of Jane Austen novels.

Well, how about this. You be all annoyed about the lasagna long after the second time of eating it is over. And I'll get enjoyment from eating something else. I can't see why, if I'm happy with the situation, it gives you so much affront. You really need to chill.

ChinoiserieNerd · 22/03/2023 08:43

Mortimercat · 22/03/2023 07:49

Yes if he was working late and I noticed there wasn’t enough lasagne for him I would take a fraction of a second to assess if there was something else in the fridge. And if not, I would mention it when we swap texts about him setting off for home. This is because I am a normal person in a loving relationship and I don’t get stressed because my husband eats something without my permission. Honestly the over reactions on here are unbelievable.

Mental load ffs. 🤣 Can you not do anything nice for anyone!

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I completely agree with @Mortimercat and that doesn't make me a downtrodden handmaiden. Yes, OP's DH was a bit inconsiderate and definitely shouldn't have complained about the small portion that was left for him, but people are so incredibly petty on here. We all have annoying habits or do something a bit thoughtless occasionally, but in an otherwise good and loving relationship, it's nice to be a bit more forgiving and generous about these things. Don't sweat the small stuff and save your energy for the actual problems life will throw at you eventually.

FinallyHere · 22/03/2023 08:43

He said I should have left him enough

Breathtaking selfishness from the man who are an extra portion without mentioning it, so you have a chance to add more to the meal.

He has had his portion, in advance. Why should the rest of you go without so he can have more ?

LuluLehman · 22/03/2023 08:44

MarshaMelrose · 22/03/2023 00:58

I'd have given him my portion and had a crisp sandwich in front of the telly. Much more yummy.

Do people really eat crisp sandwiches? Really?!!! Potato in bread? Carb on carb? I can’t….I mean, really?? This country is more troubled than I thought. Crisp sandwich for tea?

Naunet · 22/03/2023 08:45

ChinoiserieNerd · 22/03/2023 08:43

I completely agree with @Mortimercat and that doesn't make me a downtrodden handmaiden. Yes, OP's DH was a bit inconsiderate and definitely shouldn't have complained about the small portion that was left for him, but people are so incredibly petty on here. We all have annoying habits or do something a bit thoughtless occasionally, but in an otherwise good and loving relationship, it's nice to be a bit more forgiving and generous about these things. Don't sweat the small stuff and save your energy for the actual problems life will throw at you eventually.

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Aww such good girls.

Daleksatemyshed · 22/03/2023 08:49

Some of you are deliberately missing the point, bugger the Lasagne, it's the entitlement that bothers the Op. She made the dinner but he thinks he's entitled to three portions and everyone else makes do with what's left.

Barbecuebeans · 22/03/2023 08:50

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/03/2023 04:52

Since literally about1% of the threads on here are about war and 0% are about famine, do you post this on every thread?

Just cut and paste on every single one?

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I really think I love you @MrsTerryPratchett!

whatevrrrr · 22/03/2023 08:51

Bloody hell - talk about mountains and molehills.

I suggest you all forget it and move on, OP.

MarshaMelrose · 22/03/2023 08:51

Onefootinthegroove · 22/03/2023 08:06

You missed out knobhead. Which is what you sound like.

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Thank you. I'd been missing the oh so witty response of vulgarity. 🙄

Rosula · 22/03/2023 08:52

OP, has he explained how him wanting three portions - which would necessitate you and the children having less - makes you the selfish one?

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