DH ate extra lasagne and didn’t tell me

[Lolabear38]

I’m currently at home with 2 poorly DCs. We are all getting cabin fever so I may be over reacting a little here.

Yesterday I made a big lasagne for our tea. We had it with salad, corn on the cob and garlic bread so it was a substantial meal. There was enough leftover for us to have tonight (planned). I said as much to DH and he said ok fine, he said liked it a lot so was happy to have it again tonight.

I went to bed before DH last night and, unbeknown to me, he had another portion of the lasagne and didn’t say anything to me. Normally not an issue but as I said I was planning on us having it tonight too.

Today has been a hard day with the kids but I thought ‘oh at least dinner is sorted’ except when I went to get the lasagne I was bloody annoyed to see we were one portion down! I hadn’t looked at it all day today as when I put it in the fridge last night there was plenty.

DH was working later tonight so DC and I ate before he got home. I considered giving everyone a smaller portion but then I thought, f$&@ it, we’re having a normal portion and DH can have whatever is left, which is a lot less than he usually would have. He’s now home and very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

There is plenty of bread/ baked beans etc. for him to make himself something else but AIBU to be annoyed and not to have left him enough tonight?

You did exactly what I would have done. he had his share last night, he can sort himself something.

He's selfish and unreasonable. Lone eating late at night is weird and unhealthy

Food shaming? Did he really say that? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Absolutely, but if this was my relationship, I'd have given my generally lovely DH the benefit of the doubt and assumed he'd probably just forgot about it rather than jump to the conclusion that he must be a greedy, selfish monster who needs to taste some of his own medicine. If on the other hand the husband has form for being selfish and inconsiderate, it's an entirely different discussion.

YANBU

So he was expecting you and the kids to eat less than usual to make sure he had enough for him too!!! He was very unreasonable. Why should you all go without.
He ate his portion the previous evening so he was being selfish.

I would be annoyed as hell too, especially when being at home with two sick kids. Could have eaten a sandwich.

I think you were correct to take a normal size portion for yourself and the children this evening and didn’t need to leave him anything, but I would probably have come up with something for DH’s dinner if he was working late.

She had already cooked the family two dinners, I don't see why she should put herself out to make him yet another dinner?

He's a grown adult, he could fend for himself when he got home and if he didn't want to he shouldn't have been a greedy bastard the night before. Ok he may have been hungry, but he could have had something different and left the lasagna for it's intended purpose.

Him not having dinner ready for him the following day is just a natural consequence of his own behaviour. We teach kids that, why do greedy husbands get a free pass?

I suppose I would give my DP the benefit of doubt and assume he’s not completely lacking in the brains department and would know he’d eaten his dinner already without me reminding him.

Fascinated by the 6% who think you're being unreasonable 😂

What is it with homemade lasagna?
I had a late meeting last night so made a lasagna Monday as was my turn to cook. I would guess 6 portions. DD 2 cooked a frittata Monday night for dinner.
I got home from my meeting last night, looking forward to dinner, less than 1 portion lasagna left- only DH and DD2 home for dinner.
I had planned on 2 nights of dinners out of that dish.
DH very aware he ate 2 nights of dinner and he made sausage rolls tonight.
I probably would have sent him a message to let him know to sort his own dinner, but I completely understand why you didn’t.

I'm amazed at the full support you got here OP. I just couldn't get worked up about this. You must have a very regimented relationship, I'm talking both of you.

*I'm trying to comprehend why two DC who are heartily eating lasagne, corn on the cob and garlic bread can possibly be so ill they can't leave the house.

I also want to know how big the lasagne was/the portion size?

"Oh you pigged the lasagne after dinner last night, never mind darling I'll make you an omelette tonight." or "just realised you ate tonight's dinner last night, please can you pick up something for yourself on your way home.".

I can't see it as a big deal.*

"Oh you pigged the lasagne after dinner last night, never mind darling you can make yourself an omelette tonight."

Corrected it

Didn't know Garfield was married.

Same. Do people really live like this? Everyone with their carefully-measured 25% share? So joyless and depressing.

I suspect that if OP had come on saying she’d exceeded her allotted portion yesterday and so her husband was refusing to let her eat any lasagne tonight, she’d be told to LTB and that he was abusive and controlling.

I hate leftovers; so he would be welcome to it in my book.

I think - in a family setup - where the responsibility for food shopping and meal planning falls to one person, then everyone else needs to respect that. And it’s not about being controlling or needing “permission to eat”; it’s just having respect for the fact that food doesn’t just appear in the house and that someone else has put some thought into it. Do I care if my DH buys himself a bar of chocolate and eats it? Of course not. Do I care if he eats the bar of chocolate that I’ve bought for DD’s food tech lesson? Yes, I do. So here, I don’t think the OP cares that he ate the lasagne - if he’d come home and said “oh - I had mine last night, what can I put with it tonight?”, there wouldn’t have been a problem. It’s the expectation that she should have done something differently re the her/the kids’ supper to accommodate him that’s irritating.

he sounds sooooooo greedy
which is a big turn off isn’t it

I would play it back to him and ask him if genuinely wanted his wife and kids to have a smaller portion so he could have a big portion, even though he already had his second portion last night?

He's a prick who doesn't understand the effort that goes into cooking from scratch. He needs to cook more.

Haha. No she wouldn’t! She would have been told she’s selfish, she was greedy and asked if she has a weight problem.

I wholeheartedly agreed with your previous post but now you are being ridiculous
Twice baked lasagne is the food from the God's

Bloody me and their "penis portions" Honestly can you imagine the other way round? Mum ate an extra portion and now theres not as much left over for tonight for Dad and DC. Be uproar ! Maybe it will stop him doing it again.Women would be blasted for being greedy ,called fat and so on .Men are always "hungry" somehow and its excused .Few guys down the mines now!

Each to their own

Do people really live like this? Everyone with their carefully-measured 25% share? So joyless and depressing.

It’s not about that, though. They all ate what they wanted - and then agreed that the rest would be tomorrow’s dinner. So at that point, the person in the family who is responsible for sorting food had sorted tomorrow’s food. That’s why he was unreasonable.

I make a lasagne fairly often; the amount that gets eaten varies. Leftovers are fair game unless they’ve been specifically earmarked for another meal for someone. As was the case here; OP and her DH had agreed that the leftovers were tomorrow’s dinner.

YANBU

As I was reading your post I was hoping that you'd do what you did. He ate his portion the night before, why should that be your problem? And there's food in the house, so he's not going to starve is he.