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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH ate extra lasagne and didn’t tell me

1000 replies

Lolabear38 · 21/03/2023 23:01

I’m currently at home with 2 poorly DCs. We are all getting cabin fever so I may be over reacting a little here.

Yesterday I made a big lasagne for our tea. We had it with salad, corn on the cob and garlic bread so it was a substantial meal. There was enough leftover for us to have tonight (planned). I said as much to DH and he said ok fine, he said liked it a lot so was happy to have it again tonight.

I went to bed before DH last night and, unbeknown to me, he had another portion of the lasagne and didn’t say anything to me. Normally not an issue but as I said I was planning on us having it tonight too.

Today has been a hard day with the kids but I thought ‘oh at least dinner is sorted’ except when I went to get the lasagne I was bloody annoyed to see we were one portion down! I hadn’t looked at it all day today as when I put it in the fridge last night there was plenty.

DH was working later tonight so DC and I ate before he got home. I considered giving everyone a smaller portion but then I thought, f$&@ it, we’re having a normal portion and DH can have whatever is left, which is a lot less than he usually would have. He’s now home and very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

There is plenty of bread/ baked beans etc. for him to make himself something else but AIBU to be annoyed and not to have left him enough tonight?

OP posts:
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5
augmum · 23/03/2023 17:53

Hilarious he expects to be left enough even though he wasn't leaving his entire family enough. Cabin fever or not YANBU your husband unfortunately is being a dick.

He's an adult and can manage his own portions, he chose to eat his fair share his choice. Should be grateful you bloody made him dinner in the first place.

tunamayo81 · 23/03/2023 17:54

Lolabear38 · 23/03/2023 17:41

@tunamayo81 another post of yours I’m confused by! How is it ‘appalling’ to reheat food? It was reheated to the required temperature to make it safe to eat, it was home made food made with fresh ingredients the day before being reheated.

I’m sure you know that if you’ve ever eaten out at a restaurant or pub there’s a good chance that at least some elements of your meal have been prepared in advance and reheated, presumably you’ve survived as have any children who have eaten the same meal.

Somehow you’ve also made it sound very demeaning that someone might not be able to afford to cook fresh meals every day, did you mean to do that?

To me, it’s not lazy at all to reheat leftover food. It makes sense, it’s not wasteful and it gives me more time in my day to reply to quite frankly bizarre comments on MN.

Show quote history

There’s absolutely no reason for strangers on the internet to care whether i throw away a small amount of excess food. Any excess goes in our compost bin. There’s no issue with that at all. They are either resentful because i can be bothered to cook and they can’t and that makes them feel guilty or they are being hateful because they can’t afford it. Why should I put up with that? I don’t care what people can or can’t afford, that’s not my business, but i do care when they are calling me names and attacking me.

I think reheating food is lazy and it’s just generally not a very nice thing to do. I don’t have to justify that.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 23/03/2023 17:55

Lasagne is better the next day so he did himself a disservice there alone.

tunamayo81 · 23/03/2023 17:55

LuckySantangelo35 · 23/03/2023 16:55

@tunamayo81

“When you are a family you don’t just get to decide you’re not going to cook and instead try and make a meal last for two meals when it’s clearly not enough and people are hungry. That’s not acceptable is it? Even when we are ill our child gets a fresh meal and we don’t reheat. In this instance I think they are both to blame for poor communication. Ultimately, Make a dinner every day (either him or her) that is filling enough so no-one needs another tea at 10pm. There’s your solution! We have a takeaway once a fortnight the rest of the week we cook. It’s totally doable.”

urgh who can be arsed cooking from scratch every night??
don’t you ever wanna go the gym after work or for a drink with colleagues or whatever?
it doesn’t do kids any harm at all to have a quick tea of ready made quiche and salad or beans or toast or whatever
I’d rather that and have a life to be honest

I do have a life. I don’t make a three course banquet. Just one meal and my child is bed by 7pm. How do i not have a life?

TheGoodTheBadAndTheIrritated · 23/03/2023 17:56

Whilst he is a greedy bollocks, I would have texted him to let him know there wasn’t enough left for him. He could have had chance to pick up a ready made for himself on the way home. My DH would have “tidied up” the dish before putting it away and he is blind to portion sizes - seriously, he hasn’t a clue about dividing even a cake!

BTMadmummy · 23/03/2023 17:59

Loving this thread. Omg yanbu. That would drive me mad, even if we weren’t sick.

I love 2nd day dinners - no cooking.

YearsOfStagnation · 23/03/2023 18:00

tunamayo81 · 23/03/2023 17:54

There’s absolutely no reason for strangers on the internet to care whether i throw away a small amount of excess food. Any excess goes in our compost bin. There’s no issue with that at all. They are either resentful because i can be bothered to cook and they can’t and that makes them feel guilty or they are being hateful because they can’t afford it. Why should I put up with that? I don’t care what people can or can’t afford, that’s not my business, but i do care when they are calling me names and attacking me.

I think reheating food is lazy and it’s just generally not a very nice thing to do. I don’t have to justify that.

Show quote history

‘They are either resentful because i can be bothered to cook and they can’t and that makes them feel guilty or they are being hateful because they can’t afford it. ‘

You are wrong on both those counts.

Are you actually reading anything or are you just spouting insults about people being lazy and poor??

I have said before that it’s about the environment and resources. It’s painful to read about your waste.

I admit also that I struggle to shake off my religious upbringing where wasting food was seen as sinful.

None of my shock at your waste is to do with being poor or lazy, as I am lucky enough to be neither.

Why not stop getting so shouty and defensive and understand what people are saying. One of my closest friends is a consultant microbiologist who is rather obsessional about germs but is happy to reheat food as long as it’s to a good temperature. It’s not dangerous, if that’s a worry for you.

Botw1 · 23/03/2023 18:00

@tunamayo81

Your hypocrisy is quite something

You're getting all defensive and insulting posters commenting on your choices yet you think the op doesn't know what real problems are?!

Also, do you know how forums work?

PixiKitKat · 23/03/2023 18:00

Howling at the comments saying they don't eat leftovers. So much food is better the next day, especially leftover curry. I have a busy life, fucked if I'm martyring myself in front of the stove every night, got better things to be doing with my free time.

CountZacular · 23/03/2023 18:01

The trick to a good lasagne is to make the ragu the day before so the flavours deepen - so I make a huge batch and we have bolognese one day and put the rest into the lasagne. Does that count as reheated?

Or what if (like I actually did last time) make 2x lasagnes and put one in the freezer for a later date? I need to know if this appalling for my children?

In all honestly though, I can’t tell if that poster is on a wind up or has dug themselves such a deep hole they think the only way out is to continue digging to Oz.

TheMatriarchy · 23/03/2023 18:01

Some weird food trolls on this thread, it is perfectly normal to reheat food, batch cook, plan ahead, prepare in advance when children are ill etc All completely normal. What is not normal is stuffing yourself with tomorrow nights dinner in the middle of the night and then getting angry with someone else regarding your piggish lack of self control. Is he selfish, thick and aggressive in other ways?

adriftinadenofvipers · 23/03/2023 18:02

tunamayo81 · 23/03/2023 15:42

So? you don’t pay for our food? what’s it got to do with you?

Show quote history

You're a laugh. You posted in a public forum, that's what it's got to do with me.

"How much food is wasted in the world? 2.5 billion tonnes of food is wasted every year across the world, according to a study by the World Wildlife Fund and Tesco. That's 40% of all food produced for human consumption, and means the average global household wastes 1.5 tonnes of food each year.17 Feb 2023"

Carry right on though, if you think food waste is admirable.

TheGoodTheBadAndTheIrritated · 23/03/2023 18:02

@tunamayo81 I cook from scratch every day too. Easy meals, unless I feel like taking my time. The slow cooker is invaluable during the winter. The majority of the plate is filled with veg, which is quick prep, and a piece of fish, pork, etc is super fast to prepare and serve. If I were to serve ready prepared food it would take longer by the time I heat the oven for quiche or pie (omelettes are quicker).

SpringSpringTime · 23/03/2023 18:03

Oh my, this ‘no reheated food’ thing is a wildcard that is making me really laugh. Cheers, food troll! Easily the most batshit opinion I’ve read on here and I’ve been around a while.

yanbu, OP

Botw1 · 23/03/2023 18:05

Up there with the scared of pate thread

abas · 23/03/2023 18:05

Same thing happened with my son and Vegan lasagne I made. We had a really busy week and there was enough over for the three of us to repeat it the next day, when I was out for most of the day and I said this at the time. The next evening I opened the fridge and my son had eaten most of the lasagne! I was not happy!

Botw1 · 23/03/2023 18:06

@Lolabear38

Have you removed things with your oh?

Has he apologised for his utter selfishness?

TaLooLaBell · 23/03/2023 18:06

I could go lasagne and chips now

LuckySantangelo35 · 23/03/2023 18:06

tunamayo81 · 23/03/2023 17:55

I do have a life. I don’t make a three course banquet. Just one meal and my child is bed by 7pm. How do i not have a life?

Show quote history

@tunamayo81

youll have so much time to do other stuff if you don’t cook from scratch every single night

Botw1 · 23/03/2023 18:06

Resolved

TaLooLaBell · 23/03/2023 18:07

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 23/03/2023 17:55

Lasagne is better the next day so he did himself a disservice there alone.

Curry too

Original poster
Lolabear38 · 23/03/2023 18:07

tunamayo81 · 23/03/2023 17:54

There’s absolutely no reason for strangers on the internet to care whether i throw away a small amount of excess food. Any excess goes in our compost bin. There’s no issue with that at all. They are either resentful because i can be bothered to cook and they can’t and that makes them feel guilty or they are being hateful because they can’t afford it. Why should I put up with that? I don’t care what people can or can’t afford, that’s not my business, but i do care when they are calling me names and attacking me.

I think reheating food is lazy and it’s just generally not a very nice thing to do. I don’t have to justify that.

Show quote history

@tunamayo81 i’m only speaking for myself here, but I’m neither resentful nor hateful that you cook fresh meals every day. I usually cook fresh meals and I also often cook extra to reheat the next day, which is a perfectly normal thing to do and not in any way ‘appalling’. Absolutely no jealousy/ resentment from over here, trust me.

You’ve made a couple of quite unusual comments or claims on this thread, as can be seen by how many other posters have questioned you on them. You’ve since become increasingly aggressive in your replies and you’re now resorting to insulting people, in the guise of defending yourself because people are questioning you because you waste food? It doesn’t matter how much you waste (which is being drip fed with each reply to try and make it sound better than it actually is) . Yours is the more unusual behaviour amongst those who have replied to this thread, not mine.

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 23/03/2023 18:07

CountZacular · 23/03/2023 18:01

The trick to a good lasagne is to make the ragu the day before so the flavours deepen - so I make a huge batch and we have bolognese one day and put the rest into the lasagne. Does that count as reheated?

Or what if (like I actually did last time) make 2x lasagnes and put one in the freezer for a later date? I need to know if this appalling for my children?

In all honestly though, I can’t tell if that poster is on a wind up or has dug themselves such a deep hole they think the only way out is to continue digging to Oz.

To be fair, I think it's the last one.

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 23/03/2023 18:08

I can afford to cook every day (so am not hateful)
I can cook (so am not jealous)
I hate throwing food away (so am not wasteful)

I think there is a proper mad option on this thread.

I think the OP is NBU.

DizzyLizzyKizzy · 23/03/2023 18:09

@tunamayo81 shouldn't you be good prepping around this time?

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