DH ate extra lasagne and didn’t tell me

[Lolabear38]

I’m currently at home with 2 poorly DCs. We are all getting cabin fever so I may be over reacting a little here.

Yesterday I made a big lasagne for our tea. We had it with salad, corn on the cob and garlic bread so it was a substantial meal. There was enough leftover for us to have tonight (planned). I said as much to DH and he said ok fine, he said liked it a lot so was happy to have it again tonight.

I went to bed before DH last night and, unbeknown to me, he had another portion of the lasagne and didn’t say anything to me. Normally not an issue but as I said I was planning on us having it tonight too.

Today has been a hard day with the kids but I thought ‘oh at least dinner is sorted’ except when I went to get the lasagne I was bloody annoyed to see we were one portion down! I hadn’t looked at it all day today as when I put it in the fridge last night there was plenty.

DH was working later tonight so DC and I ate before he got home. I considered giving everyone a smaller portion but then I thought, f$&@ it, we’re having a normal portion and DH can have whatever is left, which is a lot less than he usually would have. He’s now home and very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

There is plenty of bread/ baked beans etc. for him to make himself something else but AIBU to be annoyed and not to have left him enough tonight?

Touché! fair point! Fuming was perhaps an exaggeration. My husband knows I like my food though and would never do this!

This!!

It’s not squeamishness, I think giving children reheated food is appalling behaviour.
You either can’t afford to or are too lazy to cook every day! Sorry if my cooking fresh meals is triggering for you!

@tunamayo81

But what you would do is irrelevant, particularly given how much food you must waste.

You're also contradicting yourself.

You'd be fuming if someone controlled your portion but think the op should control hers and is creating drama over nothing while completely ignoring the ohs piss poor behaviour

That’s really the worst thing I’ve read on this thread. Your ‘personal preference’ is immoral and wasteful.

How is me saying i would cook a different meal me saying she should control her portions? do you always twist what people say?

There's also nothing to suggest that the meal the oh ate wasn't filling.

It sounds pretty substantial as meals go

Being full at tea time doesn't stop people snacking later for all sorts of reasons

We worked for the food, we claim no benefits of any kind, so how is me choosing what to do with my food immoral? we cook the right amount and any small amount extra goes in the bin!
fuck me there’s some sad people on here!

@tunamayo81

Youre still contradicting yourself and its still irrelevant what you do.

The op shouldn't have to cook him another meal because he had eaten his.

But I'm not sure I can reason with someone who thinks re heating food is appalling

😂

eating lasagne at 10pm isn’t snacking! Common sense tells you it’s about how much is on the plate! you can’t decide it’s substantial without seeing that!

Totally over the top reaction.

I think giving children reheated food is appalling behaviour

This is quite insane.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with reheated food, provided good food hygiene is applied. What on earth do you think is so ‘appalling’ about it?

Eating anything at 10pm is snacking.

When you are a family you don’t just get to decide you’re not going to cook and instead try and make a meal last for two meals when it’s clearly not enough and people are hungry. That’s not acceptable is it?

Her husband has hands and could have made himself something else on either night. Not once have you suggested this. Why? You said ‘he was clearly too tired’ upthread, but if OP doesn’t get to not make a meal because she’s too poorly, why is his tiredness an out?

Very few families cook fresh meals every day. Due to time constraints, finances or just preferences. Some things taste better the next day. It’s perfectly acceptable. The way you live is exceedingly wasteful and not particularly logical. The solution to OP’s problem isn’t to start cooking every day, it’s for her husband to take responsibility and stop being an arse (and, yes, calling your wife ‘selfish’ for not catering to you is arsehole behaviour).

When you are a family you don’t just get to decide you’re not going to cook and instead try and make a meal last for two meals when it’s clearly not enough and people are hungry. That’s not acceptable is it?

That's not what happens. They had all finished their meal, she THEN looked at it and said that's enough for tomorrow, let's use it for then, which he agreed to. He made no mention of still being hungry and wanting more at meal time. The fact that he wanted a snack later is irrelevant to whether he was still hungry at dinner time, lots of people always get hungry (or greedy) before bed even if they had enough, because time has passed.

Even when we are ill our child gets a fresh meal and we don’t reheat. In this instance I think they are both to blame for poor communication. Ultimately, Make a dinner every day (either him or her) that is filling enough so no-one needs another tea at 10pm. There’s your solution! We have a takeaway once a fortnight the rest of the week we cook. It’s totally doable.

Again, lots of people always snack later. It's not always out of hunger.

There is a huge amount of hypocrisy in what you're saying. Not liking being shouted at, or expected to cook when you've said you don't want to that day for a specific reason is lacking in perspective and not being aware of what real problems are, yet not having a freshly cooked, non reheated meal every day, or your meal not filling you up until bedtime, is "unacceptable"? I would suggest you need to think a little harder about what "real problems" are, because if it's not what OP was bothered by, it's certainly not the things you've mentioned here.

This

You genuinely need people on MN to explain to you why food waste is immoral? It’s hard to believe someone is quite this ignorant.

I don’t think we’re the sad ones.

Yes, she clearly has a lot of her own issues.

Gosh what an immature response. Are you using being poor as an insult?

It’s not about money. It’s about the environment and using the resources we have wisely.

And people have been batch cooking for families for years.

I can tell you are possibly not someone to have a reasoned debate with though.

I’ve clearly said i generally make the right amount and the very small amount left over gets thrown away. If we’re going to just ignore what i’m saying so you can come out with rubbish about me being wasteful then i’m not going to bother responding. Lots of lazy people on here throwing out insults to make themselves feel better

I was quoting you directly, where you said reheating food for children was ‘appalling behaviour’.

Why do you think this?

It’s not squeamishness, I think giving children reheated food is appalling behaviour.
You either can’t afford to or are too lazy to cook every day! Sorry if my cooking fresh meals is triggering for you!

And meanwhile in the real world, children are starving...

Appalling behaviour?

You said that after you’d been told waste was appalling and arguing that it wasn’t immoral…because you’re not on benefits. Forgive us, but we don’t believe you.

You’re the one using poor as an insult and claiming people are lazy to justify your clearly quite hefty issues around food and childrearing. In addition to some quite intense internalised misogyny.

The things you’re saying on this thread are nuts. Seek professional support.

Both are weird, this is why there is an obesity crisis.

So everything gets eaten, but there’s always an infinite quantity because you would never determine anyone else’s portion size?