DH ate extra lasagne and didn’t tell me

[Lolabear38]

I’m currently at home with 2 poorly DCs. We are all getting cabin fever so I may be over reacting a little here.

Yesterday I made a big lasagne for our tea. We had it with salad, corn on the cob and garlic bread so it was a substantial meal. There was enough leftover for us to have tonight (planned). I said as much to DH and he said ok fine, he said liked it a lot so was happy to have it again tonight.

I went to bed before DH last night and, unbeknown to me, he had another portion of the lasagne and didn’t say anything to me. Normally not an issue but as I said I was planning on us having it tonight too.

Today has been a hard day with the kids but I thought ‘oh at least dinner is sorted’ except when I went to get the lasagne I was bloody annoyed to see we were one portion down! I hadn’t looked at it all day today as when I put it in the fridge last night there was plenty.

DH was working later tonight so DC and I ate before he got home. I considered giving everyone a smaller portion but then I thought, f$&@ it, we’re having a normal portion and DH can have whatever is left, which is a lot less than he usually would have. He’s now home and very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

There is plenty of bread/ baked beans etc. for him to make himself something else but AIBU to be annoyed and not to have left him enough tonight?

@tunamayo81 I'd honestly cry though if I thought dinner was all sorted with leftovers and I then found out I had to cook again.

I do have a condition that causes fatigue though so admittedly that might colour my thinking but I definitely don't think the DH should have got the hump with her regardless.

And I would be fuming if my immature and selfish OH couldn’t have eaten something that didn’t involve the next day’s dinner! He’s not bloody 14!!

If he’s always so selfish and cranky, it might be a merciful release.

It’s shocking how little regard some women have for other women. Any wonder some men feel entitled to treat us like shit when some have such low expectations of behaviour from the men in their lives. It’s actually depressing.

So you’ve heated the oven, you’re about to put the lasagne in and you find out there isn’t enough so you then make an entirely different meal for four people and you aren’t at all cross?

And if my other half ever ate the next day’s dinner after I had gone to bed, I would think it was a sign of dementia.

We don’t eat leftovers, I never have, we cook fresh so maybe i just can’t relate. We both work and i have a chronic illness too so i get it’s hard. But Trying to make a meal into two meals obviously isn’t working and her husband is hungry So they need a new plan. Obviously he was tired too and wasn’t expecting to have to cook when he got in, i think she should’ve warned him so he could pick something up on the way home. Better communication needed on both parts.

sorry i meant warrant a thread not threat.

We don’t eat leftovers, I never have, we cook fresh so maybe i just can’t relate.

You never, ever have food left over?

Honestly, Not really, but i have a lot of life experience and am blessed with perspective, as I know what real problems are. Yes it’s annoying but you just chuck something else in out of the freezer enough for everyone.

We either bin what we don’t want or eat it, i wouldn’t reheat food the next day. I just don’t like to, personal preference.

@tunamayo81

So you think its wrong for the oh to have his portions controlled but you also think that the op should control her portions and have less so the oh can have more?

Seriously?

That’s so wasteful.

I didn’t say that? I said i would make something else instead?

I don’t believe you. Any normal person would be annoyed.

So? you don’t pay for our food? what’s it got to do with you?

@tunamayo81

Yes you did.

The op didn't want to make some else. Why should she?

She wanted a full portion of the lasagne so she had the full portion

Dh was then annoyed he didn't get a 3rd full portion

Why on earth should she have to then cook him something else?

I never said she should i said I would but we’re used to cooking every day and wouldn’t create this situation in the first place.

Honestly, Not really, but i have a lot of life experience and am blessed with perspective, as I know what real problems are. Yes it’s annoying but you just chuck something else in out of the freezer enough for everyone.

I mentioned this earlier, but what if they didn't have food in that you could just "chuck in"? I quite often only really have food in that you'd have to cook from scratch.

She'd made a point of saying she wasn't going to cook today because she really didn't want to - why is it not ok to sometimes not want to cook and why is it fine for him to just completely ignore that and expect her to do it anyway? Why couldn't he "just chuck something in", why her when she'd specifically said no to doing that that day?

You don't get to decide that somebody that ignores the things you say to them and then shouts at you about it is not a "real problem". To many, that's just brushing things under the carpet for an easy life rather than address it when your husband is being a twat.

But you don’t think it’s under any circumstances reasonable for a man to suddenly have to cook a meal for one?

She didn’t punish him for it, though. She ate what she’d planned to eat (as she’d told him). She didn’t want to cook the next day (which she’d also told him), so did not.

Nothing was stopping him from making himself something else. Unless you’re referring to not cooking him a new separate meal as punishment?

He then kicked off at her. Not vice versa. I’m still unclear as to what ‘threat’ is being referred to.

I’d be fuming if in my 30s-40s someone was allocating my portions?

And really? Aren't you blessed with perspective and know what real problems are?

When you are a family you don’t just get to decide you’re not going to cook and instead try and make a meal last for two meals when it’s clearly not enough and people are hungry. That’s not acceptable is it? Even when we are ill our child gets a fresh meal and we don’t reheat. In this instance I think they are both to blame for poor communication. Ultimately, Make a dinner every day (either him or her) that is filling enough so no-one needs another tea at 10pm. There’s your solution! We have a takeaway once a fortnight the rest of the week we cook. It’s totally doable.

@Lolabear38 I think you’re right, the ‘cabin fever’ has got to you.
I’d have asked DH if he could pick up something else for dinner on his way back in, if there wasn’t going to be enough for him. Not a big deal. At all.

So you are someone who wastes food, because of some squeamishness I am guessing. You then have zero idea how people feel who plan to make one meal last over two days and find some has been eaten.

Anyway, binning good edible food is appalling behaviour.

Ha good point. Quite an extreme reaction from someone blessed with perspective