DH ate extra lasagne and didn’t tell me

[Lolabear38]

I’m currently at home with 2 poorly DCs. We are all getting cabin fever so I may be over reacting a little here.

Yesterday I made a big lasagne for our tea. We had it with salad, corn on the cob and garlic bread so it was a substantial meal. There was enough leftover for us to have tonight (planned). I said as much to DH and he said ok fine, he said liked it a lot so was happy to have it again tonight.

I went to bed before DH last night and, unbeknown to me, he had another portion of the lasagne and didn’t say anything to me. Normally not an issue but as I said I was planning on us having it tonight too.

Today has been a hard day with the kids but I thought ‘oh at least dinner is sorted’ except when I went to get the lasagne I was bloody annoyed to see we were one portion down! I hadn’t looked at it all day today as when I put it in the fridge last night there was plenty.

DH was working later tonight so DC and I ate before he got home. I considered giving everyone a smaller portion but then I thought, f$&@ it, we’re having a normal portion and DH can have whatever is left, which is a lot less than he usually would have. He’s now home and very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

There is plenty of bread/ baked beans etc. for him to make himself something else but AIBU to be annoyed and not to have left him enough tonight?

It's clearly symbolic lasagne

You can’t have your lasagne and eat it.

I don't think it's unreasonable to be annoyed that someone knew that something was earmarked for dinner, they ate enough of it that there was no longer enough to satisfy everyone's appetite, and then got shitty because they were the one that had the short rations.

What if they didn't have chips or other convenience food?

We can what if for ever more. I'm telling you what I'd do, what my family actually does. If you want to twist it to projecting what may or may not be in the OPs freezer then crack on.

I dunno: where the fuck were you supposed to magic the extra portion for? It’s not the fucking loaves and fishes of lasagne.

*the extra portion from.

Her and/or the kids were supposed to miss out.

We can what if for ever more. I'm telling you what I'd do, what my family actually does. If you want to twist it to projecting what may or may not be in the OPs freezer then crack on.

I'm not twisting, it's an assumption that they would have something in that was super easy to bulk the meal out with. I don't have anything like that in my house right now.

I couldn't live by your strict rules around eating.🤣

Thing is, (and I'm not saying this is the case in this household, we don't know), but in many households the world over, people have to live by very strict rules as to who eats what and when, to try and eke out and make sure that everyone gets something.

It's an incredible privilege to live in a household where we don't.

I have all males in my house and they are constantly hungry. Leftovers are there to be eaten, but if they knew that something was allocated for a specific meal, they wouldn't touch it. If your DH was still hungry he could have eaten something else (a tin of beans, a sandwich, bowl of cereal etc). It was pretty ordinary of him to eat some of the meal that had been planned for next days tea, the very least he could have done was tell you so that you could work out (together) how to make up the difference. I probably would have called him when I discovered the missing portion to let him know to pick up something on the way home, but at least this way he knows the lay of the land and (hopefully) won't do it again. I don't like using emotion laden words like 'greedy' because it's very possible that he was just still hungry, but eating more lasagne and not telling you was pretty poor form.

Strict rules like realising good you’ve already eaten won’t still be there? Like not kicking off at your partner because she and your kids ate leftovers?

Our house isn’t a 24/7 eat as much as you like buffet. I’m inclined to think that people claiming that they have no rules and no conflicts about food must have an unofficial pecking order.

Peak Mumsnet 👌

I'd of said as we do discussed it being tonight's tea then you ate it I assumed you had plans for tonight so didn't think we had to go hungry.

I’m inclined to think that people claiming that they have no rules and no conflicts about food must have an unofficial pecking order

Mmm, or maybe some household members who don't care what/how much they eat.

Plus - he's a grown man. he must have at least seen a sandwich being made at least once his life, even if he'd never done it himself before.

This was his big chance to increase his skillset.

He could even have toasted it!

I must be terrible at wifely stuff because I generally leave DH to sort his own din dins out.

And sod texting him before hand for a problem of his own making!

He knows if he ever had the audacity to pull this on me, he'd be on the menu himself.

@Emotionalsupportviper
😂😂Exactly, what would he have done the night before when he fancied some food if the next days dinner wasn't in the fridge?

Would he have starved to death because OP had gone to bed first and couldn't rustle something up for him?

Not at all, he had his second portion last night 😅 he can't expect eveyone else to go without. His own fault for being greedy last night.

*The whole notion of everyone having an assigned helping which they mustn't exceed is a bit odd if you're used to adults being allowed to help themselves to their own food. Op thought there was enough for two meals. Turns out there wasn't quite enough for that. In our house this would just mean we'd add a salad or a pudding or something, not expect the person who'd eaten more one day to go without the next.

Obviously if assigned quantities are how it goes in OP's house then that's up to her, and it probably is annoying if someone exceeds their share then expects more. But to me it sounds more like how a student flat share might deal with food, not a family. We're all different, I guess.*

Except that this isn't what happened!

The OP didn't say anything about assigned portions.

She said that AFTER they had all finished there was enough left for the next day. So she put it in the fridge and told her DH they would have it again the next day.

Later on that night he then went to the fridge and helped himself to more. He then DIDNT TELL HER and it was only when she came to reheat it for tea the next day that she realised there wasn't enough left.

@Museya15 I don't have strict rules at all, I don't have any rules really! Apart from yeah I guess don't eat the kids dinner for tomorrow. That's not being strict it's just not being an arsehole to your children.

Please….

No more patronising caps or italicised writing.

x

But he's a big strong man who needs extra yummy din dins because he's been working so hard all day

Well maybe if the greedy shite had told his wife he'd already eaten the next day's dinner, they would have been in a position to sort that out?