DH ate extra lasagne and didn’t tell me

[Lolabear38]

I’m currently at home with 2 poorly DCs. We are all getting cabin fever so I may be over reacting a little here.

Yesterday I made a big lasagne for our tea. We had it with salad, corn on the cob and garlic bread so it was a substantial meal. There was enough leftover for us to have tonight (planned). I said as much to DH and he said ok fine, he said liked it a lot so was happy to have it again tonight.

I went to bed before DH last night and, unbeknown to me, he had another portion of the lasagne and didn’t say anything to me. Normally not an issue but as I said I was planning on us having it tonight too.

Today has been a hard day with the kids but I thought ‘oh at least dinner is sorted’ except when I went to get the lasagne I was bloody annoyed to see we were one portion down! I hadn’t looked at it all day today as when I put it in the fridge last night there was plenty.

DH was working later tonight so DC and I ate before he got home. I considered giving everyone a smaller portion but then I thought, f$&@ it, we’re having a normal portion and DH can have whatever is left, which is a lot less than he usually would have. He’s now home and very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

There is plenty of bread/ baked beans etc. for him to make himself something else but AIBU to be annoyed and not to have left him enough tonight?

She got ‘stressed’ and ‘worked up’ about the fact that he came home and kicked off. You realise this, yes?

If he’d just made himself something extra (which, like her, he’s capable of doing), there’d be no post.

Point seems extremely clear to me. And, no, you didn’t explain it at all.

• You can see when there aren’t enough leftovers for a meal.
• You asked upthread how her DH was supposed to know there was or wasn’t enough left for a meal.
• Why ask that if you (and almost everyone else on this thread) can figure it out? He should be able do it the same way as the rest of us, surely?

Honestly I think you handled it well. Food is not an infinite resource. He wanted his serving a day early, it’s all on him. The rest of you shouldn’t have smaller portions to accommodate him eating his own share early.

Lasagna does take time/lots of ingredients/effort etc to prepare too. It’s tedious preparing lasagna from scratch 2 days in a row. It’s not like he just had an extra portion of oven chips that no one would look forward to.

@Train007 sounds like my house. My son is still at home and the three of us share the cooking depending on who is around except when my daughter is home as she's a princess who absolutely does not cook
We've had lots of meals where it's been a mismash of things because one of the three of us had a second helping. What I wouldn't do - and nor would my husband and son - is leave a smaller than normal portion of food for someone who has been working late and comes home hungry.

Yeah but when it happens does the person who's eaten more than their fair share have a go at the others?

We're a family. We've had millions of petty arguments over the years, called each other all sorts, got irrationally angry when we've been tired, stressed, hungry.
But because we're a family we let it go and get on with life.

What I wouldn't do - and nor would my husband and son - is leave a smaller than normal portion of food for someone who has been working late and comes home hungry.

What so the H should have a normal sized portion of food (i.e. 3/8 of the whole thing) and the OP and the 2 kids should have teeny tiny portions each? Are you mad?

No, not mad. As I said, I'd have padded it out with other things...probably chips. No extra effort needed to put a tray of chips in the oven with another dish to warm up. Adults an d,ids have slightly smaller portions of lasagne and chips on the side. Job done. Everyone in a carb slumber

Except you are making a portion, aren't you?

Youre not making 10 slow cookers full. You're roughly portioning enough.

And the op didn't tell her oh he couldn't have dinner. She just didn't leave him what he considered a big enough portion.

A bit like what you do. She took what she wanted so the oh should have been happy to take what was left and add something to it.

Right?

What if someone had still been hungry the first night and wanted a second helping? Would they not be allowed it? It isn't clear how defined it was that there was exactly only the right amount left for the next night. If we have leftovers, we divide them up - sometimes there isn't enough leftovers for everyone to have a full portion but we don't get angry that someone was hungry the night before and ate more. Maybe they are very short on money and needing to ration food and in that case I can see being upset because the children would otherwise go hungry but we don't control what other people eat and our portions are not exact to say if you eat another bite, there won't be enough left for tomorrow. I don't know if OPs husband knew that what was left was only allowed to be eaten tomorrow versus thinking there was enough to have another portion and still have enough to share tomorrow With what the OP described she served it's unlikely that he'd be hungry again, he probably just liked it and felt peckish so had more. He could have had a sandwich or whatever, but he ate what OP had said was for the next day. It's not about rationing, it's about the fact she didn't want to have to cook again after having a time of it with ill kids. I would imagine an adult would be able to tell how much lasagne is enough for four people and how much isn't.

That's not what the OP did!!! She served what her DH had left last night, minus her and her children's share - but he was angry and thought that they should have gone without so he could have more???

Would some of you ever go back and read what you posted because it's batshit crazy!!

If you went to a restaurant, there would be adult portions and children's portions - not a small bit for Mary who's not actually that hungry but a kickarse portion for Terry who's 6ft tall and 23 stone because he clearly must have a bigger appetite...!! Would you expect to be asked what size of portion you would like, and to have it priced accordingly??

The goddamn man had no business eating it. He was told that it was this evening's dinner. It should therefore have been off-limits. That isn't controlling. It's what common sense actually looks like. I'm sure there were other things he could have eaten. He could have said, "do you mind if I have some more lasagne?" Or let her known he'd scoffed it and would eat something else tonight.

His sense of entitlement that someone else should have gone without to make up for the lasagne he had already helped himself to, so that he could have a bigger share, is selfish and disgusting.

Lasagne-gate!!

What if they didn't have chips or other convenience food?

I'd just get a microwave lasagne in the freezer and if he moans again he can eat that. Or a pot boodle

If you went to a restaurant, there would be adult portions and children's portions - not a small bit for Mary who's not actually that hungry but a kickarse portion for Terry who's 6ft tall and 23 stone because he clearly must have a bigger appetite...!! Would you expect to be asked what size of portion you would like, and to have it priced accordingly??

😂Maybe they ask the waiter to bring out the whole pot/dish or throw on a bit extra because they don't know how much they're going to want to eat yet!

Oh dear 23 pages on a slice of lasagne 🤭

Selfish plonker. He ate extra yesterday equals less today. He can have toast if he’s still hungry.

Good lord, we don’t eat lasagne AND chips together in the South!

The horror! 😱

😉

The main thing I'm taking away from this thread is that people eat lasagne with chips 😱 Garlic bread I get, but chips! Is this normal? Am I weird for getting a bellyache from just even thinking about that combo? 😂

There was a portion for him. He chose to eat it last night. Presumably he knew he ate it and wasn't sleepwalking. You cannot have the same portion of food twice, nor can any reasonable person expect others to go without so you can eat their share!!

😂😅😁

I'm so sorry but u type the wrong response. You are NOT being unreasonable at all! In fact... I would have left him nothing.

All this over a bit of lasagne!

Conveniently ignoring the fact that her DH was also having a strop over it

Jeez, did he think the lasagne would grow a new portion overnight?! Pure greediness. Not surprised you're annoyed. Hopefully you won't have to start locking up your meals.

Sorry, @tunamayo81 but where and when did I threaten him?!

He doesn’t need to ask permission to eat food in his own home. However as I said, the leftover lasagne was intended for dinner the next night, which DH knew. If I knew something in the fridge was intended for another meal I wouldn’t eat it before then and if I did for whatever reason, I’d have the courtesy to tell the person who was making that meal!

So if he ate it the very least he should have done was tell me, so I would have known before I got the dish out to warm it up and I could have figured something else out during the day. The last time I’d looked at the lasagne was when I’d put it away the night before when there was plenty left.