DH ate extra lasagne and didn’t tell me

[Lolabear38]

I’m currently at home with 2 poorly DCs. We are all getting cabin fever so I may be over reacting a little here.

Yesterday I made a big lasagne for our tea. We had it with salad, corn on the cob and garlic bread so it was a substantial meal. There was enough leftover for us to have tonight (planned). I said as much to DH and he said ok fine, he said liked it a lot so was happy to have it again tonight.

I went to bed before DH last night and, unbeknown to me, he had another portion of the lasagne and didn’t say anything to me. Normally not an issue but as I said I was planning on us having it tonight too.

Today has been a hard day with the kids but I thought ‘oh at least dinner is sorted’ except when I went to get the lasagne I was bloody annoyed to see we were one portion down! I hadn’t looked at it all day today as when I put it in the fridge last night there was plenty.

DH was working later tonight so DC and I ate before he got home. I considered giving everyone a smaller portion but then I thought, f$&@ it, we’re having a normal portion and DH can have whatever is left, which is a lot less than he usually would have. He’s now home and very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

There is plenty of bread/ baked beans etc. for him to make himself something else but AIBU to be annoyed and not to have left him enough tonight?

Absolutely, same might have happened to OP, right? Although I don’t see why you think a grown man needs a text to remind him he had already eaten his dinner the night before, but maybe you think men are painfully stupid?

So then, you’ll agree it was his mistake and not OPs, and nor was she selfish for eating her own portion, and he was wrong to tell her she was?

I honestly can't stop laughing at this.

How stupid do you think men are?! Why would he need a woman to text him to tell him he already ate his lasagna last night? Incredible that men manage to run the world when they’re clearly so stupid they need the fucking obvious pointed out to them.

The reactions here are nuts. Yes he's selfish & immature but God the outrage.

This, exactly this is why, so often, men still act selfishly and women carry to mental load to make it all work.

Early 1980's at Uni, I started to notice that the different treatment of males and females was structurally engrained rather than the result of my own family's dynamics, where DM and DF followed very traditional roles.

At the time I assumed that, once we understood the unfairness and unnecessary-ness of this inequality of treatment, it would all get resolved and more equal.

I'm constantly surprised by how far we haven't moved.

The number of people posting that they would 'be kind' and remind him to be prepared for no supper or even 'pad out what he had left to feed everyone' gives me some clue as to why the unequal and selfish practised continue.

And the people saying forget and move on, I'm sure OP would not have posted if it were the first time he ever demonstrated his willingness, even expectation that his whims deserve to be accommodated by the rest of the family.

If it only happened the once and never again, the whole premise of my post would be undermined and there would be ahem no inequality in human relations and the distribution of resources.

Yes, not all men and not all women but still, enough. Sigh.

100% it's about that. Total control, it's mental!

Same! It’s bizarrely full of ANGER..
Why do they have pre defined portion sizes anyway? How are the portion sizes decided upon? Im assuming these guys are a family, not living in a commune.

Well why can't HE carry the mental load of 'I ate my dinner last night so I'll have to sort something for myself tonight' unless he's a big fat man baby who sits with his mouth open waiting for mummy to feed him.

Gluttony is a really unsexy trait!
no one needs two dinners of lasagne in the same night

@MeinKraft

The guy literally ate left over fucking lasagne in the fridge 😂😂😭

Have you ever eaten leftovers? Are you a fat woman?

This thread is weird.

No wonder women get called hysterical. Then get hysterical when they're called hysterical.

It's lasagna FFS.

Pre-defined portions may sound odd to you, but without infinite cooked dinner in the house there has to be an upper limit on any individual portion. What is the alternative?

He was a knob head but any chance you could share the magic soup recipe?

Yeah, it’s women who are hysterical, not the man throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get extra lasagna…

Exactly!

crying and bitching that others are being selfish cos you wanna eat all the food in the house is way more hysterical than what op is being

We actually had one of the worst arguments we have ever had about it and I'm still a bit cross now.

I'm noticing more and more that many men discussed on MN seem to be unable to say sorry when they're clearly being unreasonable. And then I see loads of posts saying, what's the big deal, stop being so petty/hysterical and I think shit some of these people are bringing up boys to carry on with this arsehole behaviour.

Geez! They have chicken pox. They’ve both been feeling pretty rotten for a couple of days but feeling fine in themselves now, just waiting for the last of the blisters/ spots to crust over before we can go anywhere. Their appetite is back. That ok with you?! There are also plenty of other illnesses they could have that wouldn’t affect their appetite 🤦🏻‍♀️

As I said in my op, I had planned it so the lasagne would last two days so I made a large one. I have a really big lasagne dish that I use if we have people over so I did it in that. I didn’t measure it but next time I make one I will and I’ll get back to you with exact dimensions.

It was a big deal to me because I’m finding it hard staying indoors with two kids and thought that I had one less thing (dinner) to stress over. I didn’t want to make DH an omelette when I’d already prepared something. I’ve acknowledged that I could have messaged him in advance in a previous post but I didn’t.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

@ktime

1 potato diced

2 chicken breasts, diced
Small tin of sweetcorn

2 red chilli's (one if you don't like spice but it probs helps with the cold if two) finely chopped
2 cloves of Garlic crushed
Half a pack of bacon lardons
1 onion diced

1 to 1.5 pints of chicken stock ( I do that by eye so not sure how much)
Tsp of thyme
Seasoning (lots of black pepper)

Couple of tablespoons of double cream

Fry bacon, chilli, onion, garlic til soft, add stock, chicken (you don't need to cook it first), sweetcorn. Bring to boil then season and add thyme. Simmer for 45 mins ish giving a stir every so often. Lid half on.

Let cool down slightly. Stir in cream to taste.
Dish up with some crusty bread and wash down with a Lemsip!

It's not that hard, I over exaggerated, it's just alot of chopping stuff which I couldn't be arsed with when made up with cold.

Sending a quick text takes a few seconds.

@ChinoiserieNerd

If your point is that DH has no reason not to make OP aware that he has eaten tomorrows supper tonite, then I agree.

If you think that OP should remind him there is no supper ready for him, because he ate a double portion yesterday, then I'm interested to know why you expect different standards for him than for her.

@WendyCraig

I suspect that if OP had come on saying she’d exceeded her allotted portion yesterday and so her husband was refusing to let her eat any lasagne tonight, she’d be told to LTB and that he was abusive and controlling.

It's really not about the eating, it's about him not warning her and then claiming OP is selfish for not having less so he can have more than his fair share

Thank you, sounds lovely! That is effort when you’re sick, he shouldn’t have eaten it.

If I cooked a dish that was due to last our family 2 meals, in my mind that would be 2 portions per person. If someone chose to eat a portion for supper/breakfast/dinner/tea then that's up to them, but it doesn't stop everyone else from also having 2 portions.

Replace the food with money. Each person was given 2 x £5 notes to spend. Everyone spent 1 £5 note in the evening. DH then spent an extra £3 after everyone had gone to bed. Suddenly he expects everyone to give him some of their money the next day? Nah mate.

In all, brutal honesty, I personally would be happy to not have the same tea twice in a row BUT I'd be pissed off with this situation. Like hell would I put up with being punished for HIS lack of planning.

Talk about double standards

The op is being taken to task about not chucking an omelette oin or reminding her dh to get tea on the way home, but why can't her dh have chucked an omelette in the oven rather than eat the next days tea. or offered to get some additional food on his way home.

Come on wives, do you not realise that our husbands require us to mother them, second guess their needs and requirements and not put them out in anyway shape or form

Seriously you need to get some perspective. It was a bowl of soup!

When you’re sick cooking can feel like a huge task. She had cooked enough for 2 day.

But I suspect you know that.

What’s with all the ‘hysterical’ and overreacting comments directly at OP. She hasn’t done anything - she noted what happened, cooked up what was left and fed herself and her DC. Job done.

It’s her DH who ate the extra in the first place. Then got stroppy and called her selfish. He overreacted. He was ‘hysterical’. He didn’t sent a text. He didn’t feed himself. Honestly the responses are absolutely bizarre.