DH ate extra lasagne and didn’t tell me

[Lolabear38]

I’m currently at home with 2 poorly DCs. We are all getting cabin fever so I may be over reacting a little here.

Yesterday I made a big lasagne for our tea. We had it with salad, corn on the cob and garlic bread so it was a substantial meal. There was enough leftover for us to have tonight (planned). I said as much to DH and he said ok fine, he said liked it a lot so was happy to have it again tonight.

I went to bed before DH last night and, unbeknown to me, he had another portion of the lasagne and didn’t say anything to me. Normally not an issue but as I said I was planning on us having it tonight too.

Today has been a hard day with the kids but I thought ‘oh at least dinner is sorted’ except when I went to get the lasagne I was bloody annoyed to see we were one portion down! I hadn’t looked at it all day today as when I put it in the fridge last night there was plenty.

DH was working later tonight so DC and I ate before he got home. I considered giving everyone a smaller portion but then I thought, f$&@ it, we’re having a normal portion and DH can have whatever is left, which is a lot less than he usually would have. He’s now home and very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

There is plenty of bread/ baked beans etc. for him to make himself something else but AIBU to be annoyed and not to have left him enough tonight?

@ChinoiserieNerd

NEWSFLASH

women don’t always have to be nice

especially when someone isn’t being nice to them - which is the case with this husband

Exactly. Op’s Dh is being unreasonable in his reaction: very annoyed and thinks I’m selfish and somehow food shaming him for eating the extra last night. He said I should have left him enough, but as far as I’m concerned I did last night!

He simply should have made himself something extra to eat instead of expecting his wife and kids to have less or his exhausted wife having to make himself something extra to compensate for him eating his portion the night before.

There was already food in the house that he could have supplemented his lasagne with.

No text was necessary.

He just wanted another full portion.

Unless he was going to shop & then cook that wasn't going to happen.

Text or no.

So why not berate him for not sending a text to warn OP he'd eaten some of tonight's dinner?

YANBU OP. I have found, under less stressful circumstances than the above, that batch cooking doesn't work because my OH eats any "extra" available.
The only solution I have found is to freeze any extra portions after they have cooled because he doesn't look in the freezer!

unless you specifically told him not to eat it, YABU. It's his home, too! You could've padded the whole thing out with garlic bread/extra veg on the side/a layer of beans ...

I think you're both unreasonable for eating the same dinner two days running.

What do you do with left overs? Bin them? I see the cost of living crises isn't impacting you...

It does doesn’t it? So why didn’t he?

Why the fuck should she?he knew it was for the following night too,the meal was all ready so so didn't have to do anything the next evening
Christ 🙄

Well let’s follow that logic then, it’s HER home too, and the kids, so they ate their portions. HE called them selfish for that. So he’s the one in the wrong, right?

I'm surprised you left him anything since he'd already eaten his portion, he can make his own bloody meal. Greedy people give me the ick.

@ididntwanttodoit

yeah! Everyone should have had a shitty dinner the next night padded out with “a layer of beans” 🤢 in order to accommodate his selfish gluttony. You’re totally right!

I think you're both unreasonable for eating the same dinner two days running.

Some food tastes even better the next day - for me, that includes lasagne. 🌹

unless you specifically told him not to eat it, YABU.

Well unless he has some kind of cognitive problem he should probably understand that since it was agreed that it would be tea the next day, it would be unwise to eat it later that day

I swear the comprehension skills on MN have declined over the years.

I'm not telling women to be nice, my point has zero to do with gender roles. I've said several times that I would expect the same from my DH. I've also repeatedly said that the husband's complaint was out of order. So please stop making things up.

I personally think the way many posters on here seem to conduct relationships is quite depressing. It all feels petty, controlling (the rules people have about food on here are insane!) and very tit-for-tat.
If I was making dinner and realised that my DH had already eaten his share of whatever we were supposed to have and forgot to tell me, I just can't see myself getting annoyed about something so minor. It wasn't a special occasion and they weren't even eating together since he was working late. I wouldn't sacrifice my own portion of something I really fancied, but it would be no skin off my nose to send him a quick text reminding him that he'll have to pick something up on the way home or eat whatever else is in the fridge. I might also offer to stick a pizza into the oven when he's on the way home. Technically, I shouldn't have to, but why wouldn't I? It's a nice thing to do in a loving relationship. My DH would do the same for me, it's not some downtrodden trad-wife thing. I'm a generous, laid-back person who likes a bit of give and take, expect the same of my partner and find it truly baffling how many posters get het up over really minor stuff but have incredibly low standards in other areas of their relationships.

If OP's husband is generally thoughtless and selfish, that's obviously very different, but I'm guessing the greedy husband troll OP would have mentioned that.

This is exactly what I was thinking - but put much more concisely. How dare he imply that YOU were being selfished when he scarfed down two dinners?

selfished??

Yes, he should have done just that, but it's also not the crime of the century that he didn't. Maybe everyone was in a rush in the morning, he had a busy day at work and it just slipped his mind? Happens easily enough, I certainly know I've occasionally forgot to tell my DH about similar stuff because I was pre-occupied with other things / had a stressful day at work. Not a big deal, nobody died. I just don't understand why your first assumption would be 'awful, selfish behaviour' rather than 'mildly annoying miscommunication' if the relationship is a good one otherwise.

Same.

Don't get the hysterical outcry tbh.

Of course it's relevant to gender roles because women are socialised to be nice and it's yet another woman telling a woman to just be nice - it's in your post so I'm not making it up.

Re-read my post.

How your husband would react is completely irrelevant, unless he would also have called you selfish and been very annoyed if you hadn't left him a full portion.

Yes, women getting annoyed are always hysterical.

Do you often call men hysterical? I'm betting not.

@Moser85

'Make you sort your own dinner out tonight DH as you had your portion last night' is hardly a mental load.

If that's a mental load to you, you must really struggle.

You're right.he's wrong. And he needs to make his own dinner given he hate the panned dinner yesterday.

Dh came home from an overnight work trip and ate some soup that I had made the Night before and left for my lunch. It's a tricky to make soup that I only make when I've got a bad cold, which I have. I was less than impressed. The man had been wined and dined the night before and couldn't leave my magic-cold -cure soup alone! We actually had one of the worst arguments we have ever had about it and I'm still a bit cross now.
So I feel your pain op.

I honestly can’t imagine
living in a family where food and portions are so strictly planned and managed. It’s totally alien to me. If I made a lasagna I would just make it, people would have some, and mostly I wouldn’t expect leftovers as however big I make things they just get eaten! My DH would easily have 2 large plates in one sitting! And there’s no way I’d try and stop him. But if there were leftovers I’d just see what happened to them..they might disappear that night, they might get eaten at lunch time, I might give it to the kids the next eve. In your situation I’d have given the lasagne to the kids and gotten a takeaway for the adults after they were in bed. Much more fun than bickering over day old lasagne portion sizes!

Cant you both even read the OPs posts? If you cant then I highly recommend you don't post because everything you type will be worthless and twattish.

Its not about him eating it. Its about him getting angry because she didn't give him hers and their children's share as well. He wanted three portions to their one. I repeat (since you can't read very well) ITS ABOUT HIS ANGER. Got it? Good.