If you didn’t go to a private school, what do you think about those who did?

[hanginds]

Do you feel they had an unfair advantage? Do you care? Do you think they don’t know about the real world?

I really struggle to connect with colleagues who were privately educated as they seem almost entitled to the job. They seem fearless about finding alternative work if needs be, yet I just don’t have that confidence. I assume it’s their background as it’s the only difference between us in the academic/work context.

So many people pointing out inequality.

Yes. Even though they all went to private school.

I went to a state school but work in a profession chock full of private schoolers. Yes they had an unfair advantage - but life is often unfair. Yes I care, and I'm vehemently against private schooling personally, but also think it's very unfair to judge people for the choices their parents made for them, mostly because those parents thought they were doing what's best for their kids. I wouldn't say they all don't know about the real world, those who are wealthier/more privileged etc are still 'in the real world' but I would say they are generally very confident, some entitled, and expect to be spoonfed things in a way that state schoolers weren't.

I don't generally give it much thought but, if I had to, I wouldn't think less of them. I wouldn't quite say they had an unfair advantage, but I've always thought the benefit of private school was who you will meet who will help you later in life. So that may be where some of the confidence you see stems from - if you know seven people who own IT firms, others who are partners in law firms etc., it may be a bit easier to get the next job.

I also wouldn't say they don't know anything about the real world. We all only really know the world we're from. Lots of people I know didn't go to private school and don't have particularly well paying jobs yet still can't relate at all to being truly poor.

Honestly ... I mostly try and avoid the private school bunch. Definitely not my tribe. I would never admit that in public though

I don’t know many people who went to private school, or at least many who’ve divulged that information with me. The few I do know are nice, grounded and down to earth people, mostly hippy types to be honest.

I think the confidence of private school educated people comes less from their school, and more from the fact their families are wealthy and they have led a very privileged life. People from wealthy families have a self-assured attitude because they have a greater security, knowing they'll never have to worry about money and how they going to make enough. It's assumed that they'll go on to be rich like their parents before them.

I went to both but the private school confidence never rubbed off on me!

So much inverted snobbery.
I was privately educated and my children will be privately educated.
I was the first in my family to go university (in fact two of the ones dismissed by @StarmanBobby ).

We are not rich and are doing without a fancy car/lots of holidays/a more expensive house to pay for this.

Not everyone at private school is a snob with an easy life. My own background was pretty shit in many ways. To think I would be discriminated against in the workplace or that people wouldn't want to be my friend because of my educational background makes me sick.

My husband went to private school, he was on a scholarship. From a single parent low income home.

My husband is probably comes across more confident, that’s what I see private school has given him. No doors opened , he went to quite a well known one as well. He’s had to work just as hard as anyone.

He doesn’t look down on me (I was raised on a council estate) but he remembers being looked down on at school, students who had so much more choice and opportunities that would ever be available to him. I wouldn’t judge him on going to a private school.

I think people who went to private school were fortunate, I wish I could have gone too, but I don't begrudge them their education. If I'd had children I would have made all the sacrifices to afford private education, as so many parents do. It's what anyone would do if they could - try to give their children the best start possible.

I don’t really agree with the argument that “you can’t blame them for a decision their parents made”. Yes that’s true but they could acknowledge their privilege and recognise that they did have that advantage and not act like an entitled idiot most of the time

Again I know that’s not the character of all privately educated people but it is an evident trait in many that I have come across.

And before someone asks how do I know that they were privately educated, most have it on their LinkedIn or are quite open about it in my experience

I was on free school meals but went to an excellent secondary school and got into uni

I was from a deprived council estate and many I lived with went to private school (they were lovely and had great lives)

I got the same A level results and them despite one of them having a 1:1 class with one of her subject teachers 🤯

she used to worry she’d catch the wrong accent but I liked her. I ended up humble and highly educated and work in a job where I need to mix with all parts of society (quite diverse economically) and although relatively wealthy now (we own three proprieties) - I’m still the girl who didn’t have sanitary towels at school sometimes and I haven’t forgot my roots

each to their own I say

As a teenager I was really jealous. I remember watching a documentary about Roedean (I think) when I was doing my GCSE's and begging my parents to send me there for sixth form.
That was ridiculous.... they didn't have a pot to piss in. I ended up at St shitholes comprehensive of the immaculate conception (which incidentally didn't work out very well for me either)

I went to uni with a lot- I think there’s a difference between your basic local private school and the very elite ones (Eton, Harrow, Cheltenham, etc.). Nearly everyone one from one of the super posh ones was unbearable, snobby and totally unrelatable. People from less fancy private schools were a bit more variable, still a few colossal snobs but plenty of nice normal people too.

I don't care because I don't get fixated about being a labor supporter

I think the assumption in this thread is that everyone who went to private school comes from a very wealthy privileged background. I know people who sent their children or child to private school and made lots of sacrifices to do so. Taxi drivers, police, teachers and not all at the top levels of their professions. There are lots of differences in private schools, just like there are in state schools.

My kids went to private school but they’re nothing like the entitled over confident brats that are mentioned here. They’re ordinary, not posh and have no more opportunities than their state schooled friends. Maybe if you went to Eton but not if you went to the local non selective independent.

I think they’ll never really know whether they’re genuinely as brilliant as me 😃

‘I think the confidence of private school educated people comes less from their school, and more from the fact their families are wealthy and they have led a very privileged life.’

Agree with this - I have met plenty who had more ‘arty’ home school type backgrounds but still super confident from having staff, drivers, nannies, travelling at a young age, unfettered access to room service and money etc

This!

I dont really know where most people went to school. It doesnt come up much.
I have met the occasional person who went to a selective school who thinks it makes them the top 5% of people, not the top 5% of people who applied and who dont seem to get that there were also top 5% types in rough old comps too. But they are rare.

I haven’t thought about it for myself but I did do a little smile when my DC A levels results were higher than their private educated cousins.

My partner attended private school, he was bullied profusely for being ‘less fortunate’ than a lot of them. You wouldn’t have known he attend one, I think the reality of being at one and dealing with said people has gave him a different out look on life

Most of my friends at uni went to private school as did my current partner and ex partner. I did not.

I see no different whatsoever in personalities, outlooks, jobs etc.

They are no different to people i know from state schools.