If you didn’t go to a private school, what do you think about those who did?

[hanginds]

Do you feel they had an unfair advantage? Do you care? Do you think they don’t know about the real world?

I really struggle to connect with colleagues who were privately educated as they seem almost entitled to the job. They seem fearless about finding alternative work if needs be, yet I just don’t have that confidence. I assume it’s their background as it’s the only difference between us in the academic/work context.

We'll see. I'm not convinced that Labour will get in anyway, despite the current polls.

You may as well go ahead and give Amazon or BP 'charity' status - I'm sure someone will argue that they should have it for their 'charitable' giving.

For someone who allegedly works in the financial sector dealing with schools you don't seem to have a very nuanced understanding of education and the charity commission 🤔

StarmanBobby maybe you should start campaigning against the Charity Commission’s stance on private schools.
You’ve got a lot to say on the matter, a joint household income of around £360,000 so plenty to cover costs, and, judging by the amount of time you spend on here, plenty of time on your hands.

Well, yes. Some charities are extremely effective at delivering against their charitable objectives and some are much less effective.

The problem is that there is no real accountability with regard to how private schools are contributing to local communities. I'm sure that some do an amazing job. Others, like my local independent schools, essentially dress up their marketing activities as "community outreach" with little benefit to anyone.

I would like to see private schools genuinely having to earn their charitable status if they are going to keep it, but we don't currently have the mechanisms in place to hold them accountable.

It’s up to the charity commission which organisations get charity status, not us randoms on the internet.

😂If you think a Labour govt would have a significantly different make-up (i.e. not ‘wealthy, privately educated’) then you are quite naive.

I'm not going to give you my CV but I have worked across both fee paying and state sectors. My point was that to the vast majority of the British public the terms "private" and "public" in the fee paying sector are confusing and misleading, with many thinking "public school" meaning state school. I'm not sure it helps the debate we're having here to get hung up on it or frankly, display such attitude as has been directed at me on the last page or so..it somewhat supports the idea that those in the fee paying sector are sneering snobs who pity those with less accurate knowledge than them. In my current classroom it makes zero difference to the students in front of me if I have a clear and detailed knowledge of the wider school's status re public Vs private. I'd prefer to focus on my previous post about how the state sector has utterly failed my own children and is not a viable alternative for them, which many on here seem to assume is always the case.

What has starmans income got to do with anything? The obsession with taking the piss out of her salary is really unpleasant and has prevailed throughout the thread.

As an adult I find it quite odd that many privately educated people still, as adults, often talk about their school like it's some kind of badge of honour or achievement. I guess maybe it's to leverage their old boys/ girls network, but frankly I find it bizarre that someone in their 303/403/50s thinks that years of private education (paid for by their family privilege) is going to impress or be relevant to what they are doing in their jobs decades later. It's very odd to me, but I guess I don't really understand the importance that's put on private school by many.

@BibbleandSqwauk
SEN provision in state schools is indeed an utter travesty. An excellent point. So I am
utterly incorrect then that there is no state option for the 95% of parents with children with SEN needs who cannot afford it? Or are only the children of the wealthy deserving enough of a decent provision for you to sweepingly state that there is no option for you (and in whispered tones but it is fine for ‘the poor’?)

Same for any status symbol, surely, and not that difficult to work out? The same reason people show off about their flash expensive car or their designer clothes? All bought by ‘family privilege’, aka ‘money’.

Oh come on.

I don't know. At least a fancy car is something you have achieved yourself (unless a gift!), representing your success - although it would of course be better to not show off at all! But still, going on about 5 years that took place 25 years ago as if it has some real bearing on your value now it odd to me.

@TheHoover absolutely not. I am far, far from being able to really afford private but I work in the sector, am remortgaging every few years to stay afloat and have parents who are willing to curtail their retirement options for their grandchildren. I despair that so many in my kids' position do not have that option and are being forced through absolute hell. It is NOT ok, and I never said it was.

I think that only happens with public school types. I can’t imagine my DH going round bragging about the small independent school he went to in Kent that no one outside of the immediate area would have even heard of. The ‘old boys’ network only really exists amongst the Eton types, not your standard fee paying school.

Perhaps. I work in law, so there's quite a lot of that type around (although I disagree it's only Eton, I don't know anyone who went to Eton and my guess is I would have known about it). The more alternative ones are the same though, Steiner type environments always seem to get a mention at some point!

Which schools get mentioned? I am intrigued.

I am in my fifties and people have never mentioned their schools, though I am guessing given my sector some will be privately educated.

I want to know the ‘big names’ that people brag about. How tragic to do that! How does it get dropped into conversation?

By ‘Eton types’ I didn’t mean literally only people who went to Eton. I meant that ‘type’ of public school. I work in banking and absolutely know the type.
Honestly if DH announced where he want to school in that sort of environment he’d be looked at blankly. Same with the small independent in the midlands my children will be going to; only people from the area would have even heard of it.

No idea, I don't keep a note of the schools these people mention. I did work with one lady who would repeatedly mention the "Habs girls" (as an adult, in a work environment) which stuck because she used the phrase so much and I didn't understand what it meant so I googled it. She was talking about a girls private school which sounds like it was mainly concerned with sewing.

Peppadog · Today 10:31What has starmans income got to do with anything? The obsession with taking the piss out of her salary is really unpleasant and has prevailed throughout the thread.

But it’s ok to take the moral high ground and sneer at and deride anyone who opts to educate their children privately, and to describe all those privately educated as snooty, out of touch, arrogant etc?
That has also prevailed throughout the thread.

Well, tbh I have not heard people doing this. Most private school names would mean nothing to most people, I imagine.

But I’m interested in the idea that it’s ok to boast about your financial success in the form of a posh car or whatever, but it’s not ok to quietly put your child through private school thanks to the same financial success. I know people have argued that there’s something fundamentally ‘unfair’ about paying for education as opposed to a new car - but I don’t think anyone has so far successfully argued why it’s ok to buy pretty much anything else for your child (eg extensive foreign travel, lovely house near the best schools, dance/music/drama tuition, theatre visits etc - all of which confer advantages) other than a daily education. It makes very little sense.

And this is just the problem - the creeping normalisation of being privileged enough to be able to opt out and then throw around the ‘but I need it for my precious ones’ argument to people who will generally nod in synpathy. Having a mortgage doesn’t make you non-privileged. Your income probably still puts you in the very top echelons.

It's not quietly putting your child in private school I am commenting on. I'm commenting on finding it odd that adults refer to 5 years of their childhood as some kind of selfdefining achievement decades on and expect people to be impressed. You are talking about the parents, I am talking about the (now adult) kids. It would of course be equally odd if they felt the need to name drop what car their parents had when they were teenagers.

Well, we all know that Drawing Attention To Yourself is the ultimate mumsnet sin!