If you didn’t go to a private school, what do you think about those who did?

[hanginds]

Do you feel they had an unfair advantage? Do you care? Do you think they don’t know about the real world?

I really struggle to connect with colleagues who were privately educated as they seem almost entitled to the job. They seem fearless about finding alternative work if needs be, yet I just don’t have that confidence. I assume it’s their background as it’s the only difference between us in the academic/work context.

What's the lie? If they asked whether they would be prepared to pay the fees then he could have truthfully answered yes. They were opposed to private schools but had I really wanted to go probably would have allowed it as my choice not theirs. But he also found my plan of wasting their time amusing.

Almost as amusing as how affronted people are on here by 2 slightly daft 15 year olds practising their interview and letter writing skills. Not sure I'm the one who is bitter here.

Don't take them to heart. There seem to be an awful lot of recruiters on Mumsnet with various anecdotes about hiring people. Not sure they should really have so much time off to post on Mumsnet, but hey ho.

I know 7 people who went to private schools... they have good social skills as in an innate confidence in social situations.
They also seem to know or have made connections with other richer individuals & the 5 women I know have married rich men & have enviable lifestyles.

One of these women is my cousin who's dad is well off; the others are my friend from work & her social group.

They are all nice enough people but so are my friends from my comprehensive; I wouldn't make any friends who weren't nice!

Ha ha. As if an interview would have just been about paying the fees. Good job you didn't go through with it as you clearly would have been completely out of your depth.

You seem to have confused two things. I would have been interviewed, about much more than fees and still confident I would have succeeded.

You said my parents would be contacted and have to lie. What would they be asked about? It isn't them being interviewed.

Your parents or guardians would have had to sign the application form in the first place. So your dad would have had to falsify information knowing you weren't going to accept the place.

And even if you had done it, and been offered a place, that would have been a positive thing for the school to do. A nice thing. You then going 'err no I didn't want to go in first place, suckers!' is the immature, stupid thing. It 100% reflects badly on you, not the school .

7 whole people?! Well you must have us pegged then.

As for the 5 women having married rich men. Yes, private school is all about teaching girls how to nab a rich husband. I'm sure there are plenty of women who went to private school who have careers themselves and didn't just 'marry well.'

I don't think this very limited selection of private school attendees you know is particularly reflective to be honest.

You also have to pay a registration fee to apply to a private school so you would have been wasting your parents money as well as your own time. But you do you.

Ah, but I might have been so thrilled by being in the hallowed corridors that I might have changed my mind. So still no lie.

Of course it's immature. I still think it would have been funny though. And I've no doubt our letter would have been terribly well-crafted when we declined.

How it reflected on me I wouldn't have cared at all. Still think it's bizarre how riled up some people are about a 30 year old fleeting idea. Irritating people and wasting their time was our main objective so maybe it's still working 😂

I went to a similar university and found friends from all backgrounds including gasp Old Etonians.
They were fine. As for public school guaranteeing success in life, not that I've seen.

Would it have been as funny if two 15 year old girls who were headed to the local private school had applied to the local state school, got in and then said "haha we don't want to go, we're too good for this school?" or does the 'joke' only work one way I wonder? 🤔

Of course it only works one way. That's the concept of punching up.

Where I’m from, they don’t have grammar schools. Like most of the U.K. Do you find it less ‘odd’ now?

To be honest if anyone was willing to pay the approx £150 registration fee to apply for a private school place they didn’t actually want, more fool them 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I don't really get this. Surely we all do the best for our children that we are able to.
Lot of people who have this opinion move to areas with great state schools that most people couldn't afford to live in. Lots of them tutor too.
Is it a race to a bottom? I wish that all state school were great so that all children could have the best education in a lovely calm environment. Unfortunately they are not all great so I have sent mine private.
I feed my children Lots of lovely healthy food too, some parents might not be able to do the same, am I therefore perpetuating health inequalities?
Having loving engaged parents is probably the most beneficial thing you can give your children, would I deny them this just so they didn't have an advantage over those who have crappy upbringing.
Would I deny my children football, dance and riding lessons because other parents can't afford to give their children these things?

Recently a load of videos have emerged online of children from my local comp going around beating up other kids and filming it, I've seen videos of children being bullied in the loos whilst onlookers stand around vaping. Why would I choose that for my child when I have an alternative?

Just had a look and said school is only £75 now. I doubt it was anywhere near that £30 years ago.

Now whether I would have been prepared to pay whatever fee it was then is a question I don't know the answer to. Probably would have depended on exactly how much it was.

Although if you have to pay for the privilege of just being considered maybe it would therefore have not cost them anything to waste their time and we might have not bothered. Maybe that is why we didn't bother in the end, can't remember.

30 years ago it would have been the value equivalent of £75 in today’s money I imagine, whatever that happened to be.
But yes, the point of the fee is to put off time wasters.

Exactly this. Of course I'd prefer it if every child had access to the best possible education but sadly that is not the case. State schools are horribly underfunded and many are frankly struggling. Why wouldn't I do the best for my child by sending them to a private school if I can afford to? Why should anyone be criticised for doing the best they can for their child? The people I don't understand are the ones who can afford it but choose not to. Why not?!

I don't know how it works when entering sixth form but I had to do entrance exams for my private school at 11 years old. Would have been a lot of effort to go through just for a childish joke.

@Popsicle42 My Mum was similarly very opposed to private school on ethical grounds. My older brother was sent to the local state and endured 3 miserable years of bullying. When at 7 years old he could barely read or write and had had his head shoved down the toilet one too many times they moved him to the private sector. It took him years to get over that start tbh. Being younger I got sent to private straight away (in fact the state school staff told Mum if there was any hope of sending me to private she should, because I was already reading confidently in the nursery). I had an amazing experience of school all the way through.

Your daughter is happy and thriving and you have done the best thing for her.

Oh I would have loved that bit of it!

Yep. I'm talking about why I found it odd that parents in my home town, where there were grammar schools, sent their kids to private schools.

I don't think it's a very positive mind set. But I think perhaps you were just interested in finding out more about the school if you did think that perhaps you might have liked it. Shame really that your parents didn't take you to an open day if you just wanted to see inside.

Bloody hell the vitriol against privately educated people is astounding. Along with extreme stereotyping, prejudice and a lack of knowledge. Private education comes in many guises, from those catering for local rural communities through to the likes of Eton.
If the same thread had been put up about state school there would have been hell on!
Life is unequal, everyone is free to make the best choices they can for their children. Why should parents who choose private education be made to feel that they are churning out the spawn of Satan? Can we tar everyone who attends state school as a chav, because it is exactly the same thing in reverse as many posters are doing on here.
It may come as a shock but there are horribly entitled people who come out of state school and lovely humble people who come out of private school. My DDs private school produces caring children who have a deep social conscience but yes can also communicate clearly with people from all walks of life. They don't look down on anyone who isn't the same as them and she has a wonderfully diverse group of friends. We make sure she is fully aware of her privilege and I would be mortified if I ever thought she was viewed as being entitled or a snob.

'lovely humble people who come out of private school'

Those I have yet to meet.