If you didn’t go to a private school, what do you think about those who did?

[hanginds]

Do you feel they had an unfair advantage? Do you care? Do you think they don’t know about the real world?

I really struggle to connect with colleagues who were privately educated as they seem almost entitled to the job. They seem fearless about finding alternative work if needs be, yet I just don’t have that confidence. I assume it’s their background as it’s the only difference between us in the academic/work context.

@StarmanBobby

The private educated ones, who often got into top unis with mediocre school results, have lacked resilience and are unreliable.

So much nonsense on this thread. Contextual admission actually means that private school students ONLY get in with perfect grades and state school students can get in with lower grades. So again, so many incorrect facts on this thread!

Scary how many grown adults have such a large chip on their shoulder tbh.

'This thread is bizarre, so many adults with either massive chips on their shoulders or a weird way of projecting their own insecurities onto others.'

I've been told before I have a 'chip' on my shoulder re private schools because my parents couldn't afford it or I can't afford it.
Not true - I'm actually from a country where there are very few private schools - so the state schools in general are all good and at a level because ALL kids go to them, poor kids, in between kids, rich kids.
So I see the benefit of a fair system.
I can also afford to send my kids to private schools, or even ship them off to boarding school, in England, but don't believe in the 2-tier system and from what I've seen I'd prefer my kids not to turn out as entitled as many of the people I work with.

Can I ask the technical question of how someone would weed out "private/Oxbridge" types for DE&I? I get how someone would have their university on their CV, but people don't generally list whether they have had a private or state school education on their employment applications/CVs anymore?

I think a lot of the early career (over) confidence comes from knowing they can afford to fail. Parents may not be wealthy but there is likely to be sufficient income to mean they can be carried for a while.

They are more likely to be able to afford a car which opens up opportunities. The grad scheme which requires changing location every 6 months is more affordable.

This of course then makes failure less likely.

Over time a lot of the private school advantage wears off. But those early career advantages (better grad schemes, internships etc) can have a lasting effect.

Of course this is all on average. Individual experiences will differ.

OK, so you live in a country with good state schools as standard across the board. Good for you. It's not quite the same in the UK.

Exactly this.

Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.

And this.

I don’t think it’s possible to be generalise about people who went to private school, as there are so many different types of private school that provide very different experiences. Someone who went to Eton is going to be very different to someone who went to a small, nurturing private school.

Anecdotally, I will say that when I was a teenager I was on the fringes of a social group that included kids from a couple of very high performing, well regarded London public schools. They were very confident kids, certainly, but we (kids from the local, well thought of but huge state school) thought they were twats. Entitled attitudes, no respect for money, disrespectful to their parents and a lot of drugs going around in their circles.

I still know a few of them in my professional network now and the blokes are awful. Really not very nice people, boarish and lacking any awareness. The woman I kept in contact with is incredibly successful and a bit scary, but I really admire her. She has a confidence and ruthlessness I think must come from being told you are the cream of the crop and destined for greatness from an early age!

I love the fact that all state school kids on this thread are desperate working class heroes, grateful for any crumb their employer throws to them.

‘I want someone that has less in the way of options so they’ll have to stick with me. Not necessarily through choice, but because they have to. Private school kids aren’t grateful enough, and they have no vested interest in shutting up and doing whatever I demand’

Exactly!!

😂

I went to a big London comp with good results. We didn’t do too badly, many of us peasants .

My parents couldn’t have afforded private school, but were politically opposed to it anyway.

The husband of an acquaintance of mine went to public school and he’s the most appalling snob. You could be a brain surgeon and he’d still look down on you if you went to state school.

I also did very well, and from a rough comp too, not yer leafy expensive catchment area comp. But it was a bigger struggle than it ever needed to be so I am glad I could afford private school for mine.

Imagine a thread of "I know at least three / ten / twenty people who went to state schools and they are all ... <insert choice of insecure / subjective bollocks as if it's "fact">"

Do posters on this thread really not see the hypocrisy in accusing "private school people" of speaking drivel with over-confidence / as if it's fact?

I didn't go to one but I don't resent those who did. If anything they maybe have more self assuredness and in many cases, at least at university, are better at some of the deeper thinking and going above and beyond in their essay writing because of the way they've been taught but in general, they're just normal well educated people. I haven't RTFT because right from the OP this sounds like a typical MN private school bashing thread.

Yes, there are huge snobs in all sectors of society as this thread proves.

People are always going to look at this on an individual basis and trot out the tired old trope of "I went to a rough comprehensive school, did really well and now earn loads more money than all the people I know that went to private school." There are lots of success stories of people overcoming the adversity of their background and being successful and I love to hear these stories. I don't think private school in any way buys success. I have as many friends from private school who either bowed to the pressure or didn't enter the rat race at all and have perfectly average jobs and salaries as those who are now high fliers. But I also believe that if you are lucky enough to be able to afford it private school gives you a head start - whether that's fair or not will endlessly be debated - and that overall if you look at the population yes there are more private school people in government and in professions such as banking, finance, law, medicine etc. It's just a fact. Life isn't always fair but why wouldn't you give your child that head start/advantage/whatever you want to call it if you can. It doesn't have to be a them vs us.

Most CVs I see still list their A levels, sometimes GCSEs and the name of the school. Doesn't seems unbelievable to me.

I think they vary more than people think. I can generally spot former public school attenders from what I call the 'ring of confidence' about them, but that is not always, or even mostly, obnoxious or entitled.

I find it interesting that I went to a top state grammar and while the quality of education it provided was superb and on a par with private schools, it didn't produce that same confidence, in fact my peers are generally quite self conscious.

Not everyone who goes to private schools goes into a flashy or well paid career, though it can be an advantage in many.

Everyone is obsessed with earning potential here. What about the ability to choose your future- not wanting a high pressure job, finding happiness in whatever you do. The inverse snobbery is breathtaking.

Those that had paid for education are no different. They’d have ended up like that no matter what. The majority influence is parental input. Parents don’t care and send you to the comprehensive and parents that don’t care and send you to board will have roughly the same outcomes.

So what if Sarah ends up a SAHM but her parents paid for her education- she CHOSE that. And that’s fine. If she’s happy so what? It’s just a choice of education. I couldn’t care less where my friends are educated.

Can I ask the technical question of how someone would weed out "private/Oxbridge" types for DE&I? I get how someone would have their university on their CV, but people don't generally list whether they have had a private or state school education on their employment applications/CVs anymore?'

Absolutely. I mean - I can spot one a mile off to be honest, name, attitude etc We don't use CVs we use 'competency' questions, then HR wade through those and send us the ones they think look decent

Works best with graduates. A mix of asking background questions that HR only (hmmm) see and then - accent, hobbies - ski-ing, sailing anyone?, work experience - interning at private wealth companies, famous galleries, music companies. exotic gap years, 'volunteering' in far flung places, music grades.

WC graduates tend to have a lot less extra curriculars - or at least more usual ones like football team, they've travelled less, or less exotically. They don't have grade 7 piano or at least not alongside a DOE award, and Namibian volunteering.

They also have more ACTUAL work experience - working in McDonald's, or a cinema or a pizza place, or the Uni library. And they often have those jobs for years - ie started in McD's at 17, kept working there through A Level's then moved to one near Uni.
The posh kids might have the odd bar job but most aren't working min wage jobs because their parents are helping them out so they can concentrate or studying.
And finally - they often bring up stuff just in the get to know you chat.

I’m not judging!

I sent my DD to our local state school, because she’s bright and motivated and I felt she would do well anywhere (which she has!), and because my experience of state education was generally good and really shaped me positively.
I did my A Levels at the sort of FE college many aspirational parents would shudder at and still got into a Russell Group Uni. So I know what’s possible for SOME kids at state school.

But my DS has SEND and has been educated at a special school costing around £120k a year. Paid for by the local authority, but if I’d have had to find the money to educate him privately, I would have sold my kidney (or close!). State schools weren’t going to cater for his needs.

We do what we think is best and is within our means for our children. I don’t think it’s a fair system, but I don’t blame parents for operating within it in the best interests of their children.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. The implication that you have somehow 'failed' and wasted your parents money if you're not a city banker on £250k. My parents sent me to private school for the experience as much as anything else. There was a culture of learning at my school and a focus on creating well rounded individuals who would flourish in whatever path they chose. I'm not a high earner by any means but my parents don't berate me for not having some big career. That's not what it's all about. The value of private education shouldn't be measured in terms of ROI. It's the value that it gave to your life. I wouldn't trade my school experience for anything, it was wonderful and it has made me who I am today. I think threads like this are a shame really. If there was a reverse of this thread there would be uproar but because we're viewed as privileged it's somehow OK.