DH lost his mind over this

[Sunsetred]

I was in the kitchen with my 3 year old making sandwiches. She was using an adult table knife to spread the cheese spread. My DH walked in and went mad because she wasn't using a plastic knife. I think he's completely over reacted. He's insisting that I've done something really bad by letting DD use a table knife. AIBU to have let her use a table knife at her age?

Having read the comments, I think I will start allowing her to chop veg with me. I've just purchased these knifes from Amazon which are specifically designed for toddlers (3+) so DH won't have a leg to stand on and DD will be so made up. Hopefully, it will make up for today for DD to start chopping veg with me with these tomorrow!

So how was she going to die by using a table knife?

He will get stressed over other things too and I do think it's transferred to DD as she's overly cautious. For example, DD was jumping off the very bottom step of the stairs and I was congratulating her as she had been too afraid to jump off anything a safe height (Iike a curb for instance) DH told her to stop as it was dangerous and that she would end up in hospital and it would be my fault. He does the same when she's running around the house.

Oh, FFS. Please point out to him that, if anyone is dangerous to her, he is, because he's stopping her from learning basic skills and from learning how to cope with daily life.

He's being ridiculous

Having said that, it's easier for children to spread stuff using the back of a spoon.

This is really sad.

Thr world is a scary place and your responsibility as parents is to prepare your DC by giving them confidence, resilience etc.

Your DH could do with some therapy by the sounds of it. Enjoy your veg chopping 😁

Ps. If this was me, I'd get some ketchup and tissue and stage a finger amputation to wind my DH up, but it depends if you want to give him a heart attack or not I guess.

Me too 🤣🤣

Jumping odd the bottom step dangerous for a 3 year old?!!!

He's going to give your daughter serious anxiety and mental health issues if he carries on like this. That's far more dangerous than jumping off a step or helping mummy in the kitchen.

Not a bad thing at all, I used to work with a Community Chef, we actively encouraged children to use a ' real' knife but taught them the safe way to use them..

@Blablablanamechangagain 😂 I'm actually going to do that!

OP,

You should absolutely be unhappy with such a totally hysterical controlling over reaction which isn't a once off.

Not normal and awful for your daughter to witness and be around.

He needs to get his anxiety dealt with as your daughter is being impacted by it.

"Losing his mind" in front of her is really dreadful.

I think you need to take this very seriously and nip it in the bud.

Dangerously controlling is what you may find him morphing into.

I cannot stress enough how not normal his behaviour is and how negatively it will impact your child.

Yep, DS went to a German KiTa and they had them making their own sandwiches, chopping vegetables, and doing woodwork with hammers, nails and glue guns. He adored it. And still helps me make pancakes every weekend.

He ate with these from 14 months - I can’t imagine giving any child over two a plastic knife and fork.

OP you sound as bad as he does by saying you’re traumatised by his reaction! Ffs

Your DH is BU

Your h is bonkersly overprotective. He will damage his dd by being so over-cautious. She should be exploring her boundaries at this stage!

He might need counselling so he can change his mindset...

@PuddlesPityParty well that would be a whole other thread. However, I appreciate that the word traumatised might come across strong so I will say shocked and upset instead.

YANBU

@billy1966 thank you for your wise words. I couldn't agree more.

Gosh we never used plastic cutlery here, metal ones just as sharp as the adult ones but just with shorter handles. My DC were using kitchen knives to chop fruit and veg by that age too.

On BSL Zone recently (Freeview, Film4, TogetherTV) there’s been a Junior Masterchef-style competition for deaf children.

They were given instructions in very clear and unambiguous BSL on keeping their fingers safe when chopping, and left to get on with it without being micromanaged. Great confidence-booster for them.

That’s what you’re modelling too OP. Not just skills but confidence. Maybe your husband needs to see a programme like this to realise it’s normal for children to learn by doing. That includes both safety and culinary skills.

(I was the clumsiest child ever, but my parents saw it as even more important to teach me the right safety skills, rather than wrapping me in cotton wool and stopping me doing anything.)

Fucking hell, he’s mental.

He's being absolutely batshit over it. While a full sized table knife may be a bit awkward for her, it is in no way dangerous. Even should she drop it on her foot, the result would be a bruise, not a cut.

My DD got a full knife set for her 4th birthday and has a twitter account followed by a couple of celebrity chefs.
Knives are perfectly safe if used correctly

He’s ridiculous. It’s actively harmful for children not to learn how to use proper cutlery.

Children are much more capable than we think. Where I used to work, they cut fruit and veg with a children's knife, which was only slightly blunter than a paring knife. All supervised, of course, but some were very capable because their parents had taught them. Great for fine motor skills and confidence. They loved chopping up their own veg for cooking stir fries and soup and fruit for salad.

Forgot to say, they were 2 (nearly 3), 3 and 4.