Page 3 | DH lost his mind over this

Sunsetred · 2023-03-21T19:26:49+00:00

I was in the kitchen with my 3 year old making sandwiches. She was using an adult table knife to spread the cheese spread. My DH walked in and went mad because she wasn't using a plastic knife. I think he's completely over reacted. He's insisting that I've done something really bad by letting DD use a table knife. AIBU to have let her use a table knife at her age?

whatevrrrr · 21/03/2023 20:30

Has he heard of PFB syndrome?

Commonsensitivity · 21/03/2023 20:31

You were supervising. Managed risk is important part of child development.

BillyDeanisnotmylover · 21/03/2023 20:35

He’s being silly.

HoppingPavlova · 21/03/2023 20:36

Has your DH actually ever tried cutting anything with that knife. Good luck with that. No issue, he is bonkers.

Iudncuewbccgrcb · 21/03/2023 20:36

I'm pretty sure there was an expectation that they were well on their way to being able to use a proper knife and fork by the time they were in reception when mine were at that stage a few years ago.

SeenYourArse · 21/03/2023 20:36

He’s mental! Our 3 year old eats using adult cutlery including knife 🤯

dawngreen · 21/03/2023 20:45

She was ok stood calmly helping mum. But is she the type of child who is likely to run off while carrying it. Maybe he is worried that she may trip while she has hold of it.

Original poster

Sunsetred · 21/03/2023 20:45

To answer a few questions; I was standing right next to her. It was a table knife i.e a dinner knife as opposed to a butter knife. He has never done any meal prep with her as he thinks her being in the kitchen is just dangerous. Whereas, I have her helping me in there all the time - she helps to pour her cereal, prepare her lunch box, make cakes etc.

I'm really quite unhappy with his reaction and I feel quite traumatised by it if I'm honest as it was so insanely over the top. I'm even more unhappy that he lost it like that in front of our DD. No doubt it will have impacted her.

He will get stressed over other things too and I do think it's transferred to DD as she's overly cautious. For example, DD was jumping off the very bottom step of the stairs and I was congratulating her as she had been too afraid to jump off anything a safe height (Iike a curb for instance) DH told her to stop as it was dangerous and that she would end up in hospital and it would be my fault. He does the same when she's running around the house.

OP posts:

Woodywasatwat · 21/03/2023 20:45

He’s an idiot.

My two and a half year old eats with proper cutlery.

What on earth did he think was going to happen?

Goodread1 · 21/03/2023 20:45

Your husband is ridiculous 🙄 L.o.l

What's the matter with him

What a Odd reaction 😅

mynameiscalypso · 21/03/2023 20:48

My niece, who is two, was found sleeping with a butter knife in her cot the other day. She had become very attached to it.

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 21/03/2023 20:50

They don’t even use plastic cutlery at most nurseries! He is BU.

Mammyloveswine · 21/03/2023 20:50

Tell him my 5 year old uses proper sharp knives when he's helping me chop veg... because that's how they learn?! Safely and under adult supervision..

NadjaCravensworth1 · 21/03/2023 20:51

Oh god I let my 1 year old try to use table knives. Tbh I think he's completely overreacting. They're really very blunt, I always run them on my skin and check. Unless you have especially sharp ones I think it's good to give them some responsibility and practice.

namechange3394 · 21/03/2023 20:56

Sunsetred · 21/03/2023 20:45

To answer a few questions; I was standing right next to her. It was a table knife i.e a dinner knife as opposed to a butter knife. He has never done any meal prep with her as he thinks her being in the kitchen is just dangerous. Whereas, I have her helping me in there all the time - she helps to pour her cereal, prepare her lunch box, make cakes etc.

I'm really quite unhappy with his reaction and I feel quite traumatised by it if I'm honest as it was so insanely over the top. I'm even more unhappy that he lost it like that in front of our DD. No doubt it will have impacted her.

He will get stressed over other things too and I do think it's transferred to DD as she's overly cautious. For example, DD was jumping off the very bottom step of the stairs and I was congratulating her as she had been too afraid to jump off anything a safe height (Iike a curb for instance) DH told her to stop as it was dangerous and that she would end up in hospital and it would be my fault. He does the same when she's running around the house.

Bloody hell, my DP can be overprotective at times but this is mad.

What kind of cutlery does she use to eat her dinner then?!

Widgets · 21/03/2023 21:00

At that age my children were getting used to knives and vegetable peelers at home and in nursery, they peeled and chooped veg as a learning activity and to make soup!
with close supervision she will learn lots by being in the kitchen with you.
He is being ridiculous

NadjaCravensworth1 · 21/03/2023 21:00

For example, DD was jumping off the very bottom step of the stairs and I was congratulating her as she had been too afraid to jump off anything a safe height (Iike a curb for instance) DH told her to stop as it was dangerous and that she would end up in hospital and it would be my fault.

This is so horrid for both you and your daughter. It will definitely continue to negatively impact her if it carries on. I think you really need to try and have a conversation with him about role modelling and how his attitude might make her anxious and fearful. Meanwhile keep encouraging her and doing what you're doing. Be the bravest, most thrill seeking mum you can be! Don't let him change what you know is right x

notangelinajolie · 21/03/2023 21:01

Your DH is bonkers. A three year old should be learning to use cutlery. Is it any wonder there are kids starting school who don’t know how to use a knife and fork?

Luredbyapomegranate · 21/03/2023 21:01

There’s nothing wrong with that.

Did he think it was a sharp knife and is now too embarrassed to climb down?

ApocalypseNowt · 21/03/2023 21:01

What does he think she's going to do with it? Give someone a nasty prod?

Your update makes me think he should probably get some help with his anxiety though. It's not normal & will affect your Dd.

Wombats23 · 21/03/2023 21:04

My friend was a child minder & knife skills was something she taught her little kids. They loved it.

Luredbyapomegranate · 21/03/2023 21:04

Sounds like he needs some help with anxiety. But also OP you mention being traumatised by his reaction, I can see you’d be jolted, but traumatised seems very exaggerated - you aren’t in a war zone. It all sounds a bit heightened - so maybe there is something that needs examining as a family, as well as him getting some help.

Wombats23 · 21/03/2023 21:05

Think ahead to puberty & boyfriends. He might be quite difficult, time to nip this in the bud, as otherwise you'll end up with a cowed, helpless child.

HarrietStyles · 21/03/2023 21:07

He’d have a heart attack watching my 4 year old using a peeler to prep veg with me for dinner! At 2 onwards my children had small metal knives, forks and spoons for eating meals. He’s nuts.

SadCelticBunny · 21/03/2023 21:07

My mother was terrified that something would happen to me.
So I have never learned to swim properly, ride a bike, I am terrified of heights etc.

When I brought my children I helped them to be sensible and brave.
Often through gritted teeth and half open eyes but they, and my grandchildren, are far more able to enjoy life than I have been.

Find out exactly what is driving your husband's anxiety. He needs to stop scaring her.