I made my kids pay for the food they took

[piqueen]

Did I go too far?
I took their Christmas money to replace the sweets and treats they took. We do a big shop once a month and I buy all the chocolates/ crisps and other cupboard bits for the month. These are for lunchboxes for the kids, dh and for picnics on the weekend (or pack lunches for days out) , also biscuits and breakfast bars. You know, the good stuff?
I did the shop on the 1st and by the 3rd I thought, the cupboard looked a bit empty on the 3rd (so 2 days) and by the 6th I definitely knew something was up.
The boxes of cereal bars were empty (but still stacked so first glance there is non missing), all the chocolate had gone, the biscuits had been opened and eaten.

me and dh did a big clear out of their room and moved the furniture around. We found all the evidence, evidence which included loads of fridge snacks too. Frubes, cheesestring, baby bell which the wax has got stuck in the carpet.
I was so pissed off i took the kids Xmas money and have been using it to replace the items for DHs lunch only. The kids are having no treats in their lunch and I'm only buying fruit.

The reason we do a big shop is because I don't drive so I get a taxi once a month to keep costs down. (it's cheaper to shop at aldi and pay £10 once a month than shop in sainsburies every week, so I bulk buy aldi and top up at the more expensive shop) The kids have obviously been doing this for some time as there was so much rubbish behind and under the wardrobe.

It's been 2 weeks since I took their money but I feel so guilty. They only get a little bit (it was £40 between them) and they are only 9 and 10 but, also they stole a month's worth of treats for everyone (dh works in a physical job so he gets easy bars he can stick I his pocket, sometimes he is doing a 12 hour shift, very labour intensive and no chance to nip to mcdonalds)

I'm going back and forth between
'actions have consequences' and
'kids will be kids'

I don't even know if the lesson has sunk in because they have been eating loads of fruit instead now which is better but obviously costs more than chocolate bars and the price if everything is going up I'm wondering if I'm being too harsh

Yabu - give the money back
Yanbu - they should pay for the food they took

Good point about a delivery fee being cheaper than a taxi

Except that Aldi don't deliver. The OP says that she finds it cheaper to take a taxi to Aldi, than to shop at other supermarkets.

Aldi doesn't even sell babybel for a start and I've never seen cheese strings either in Aldi.

Quite expensive food for someone claiming they have to bulk shop though. Where was OP when her kids were scoffing a months worth of treats in 2 days... really?

I think you've set the punishment so need to stand by it

But perhaps consider for a bit longer your punishmens (consequences)t in future

But I totally agree there should have been consequences for what they did

Aldi sell babybel and cheese strings

And like op says she doesn't buy babybel anymore as the price has gone up again

@Pubesofsoberness OK I've never noticed those in my local Aldi.

However where was OP when her kids were scoffing all this? This is a bizarre post.

Apologies @piqueen I’ve only read your responses, but yes, I’d have been annoyed too, but wouldn’t have used their cash to buy the replacements.
What worked for me when mine were younger was a sharpie marker and stuff got name labelled, so there was an element of natural fairness that most children respond to. And also a bit of trading, truth be told.
If you need to keep high energy snacks aside for your DH put them out of sight, and then be resolute in not topping up. But also think about baking some simple treats, like flapjacks, banana bread or homemade houmous that may help them bridge that gap when they are hungry.

@Comii9 And yes Aldi sell knock off babybels, cheese strings and loads of snacks
Bloody love it

@SomePeopleAreJustBloodyStupid
Wow you sound like an awful grandma. He had lunch in school at what 12-1pm? are you seriously deluded to think he shouldn't be hungry when he gets home at 3.30! Having a dinner cooked every night isn't good enough, your daughter had a child, perhaps she learns to take care of him well, ensure there's a meal for him when he returns from school so he isn't "scoffing" 3 bowls of cereal. And 2 crisps? Have you seen the size of crisps that come in multipacks, tiny little things, so really it's considered 1 packet when consuming 2.
Twix is also tiny in multipacks. How you expect that lunch to keep him going til dinner time is beyond me. Kids get super hungry, they are growing, especially when your at school, you
Come home feeling hungry! By the sound of it, your daughter is depriving him.

@aswellascanbeexpected yes it's been pointed out already and I replied to the other poster. Thanks.

And I'm saying that 2 hours of her time and a tenner probably doesn't make financial sense.

@Comii9 my pleasure

Do you have eyes on your 9 and 10 year old at all times ? I'm sure there are plenty of opportunities for most children that age to sneak stuff into their rooms if they choose to

Please could you let us know the children’s everyday what they eat in a day on average.

I selected what you have done is fine but now I’m thinking about it I know my child would never empty the whole contents of the cupboard.

@Pubesofsoberness no but what OP is describing isn't just 3 bags of crisps is it though? It's a months worth of snacks in 2 days.

I'm not so uptight about food and I don't have food in our bedrooms it's not allowed in my house.

However IF it was..... I would of noticed the SHEER volume missing from the fridge. That's all I am pointing out to you OK I'm not suggesting I have eyes on my kid 24/7 😳

There's no food stuck to my carpets in our bedrooms because like I said I would of noticed food missing from the cupboards BEFORE I had to search the bedrooms

I agrée. I’m not as skint but still skint, and there’s no way I could make this type of set up work out. I can two two weeks bulk buy having a large freezer, so cooking perishables in batching and freezing them, but one month of food for a family, ime at least, we’re all different, would never fit.

I know plenty of people monthly buy, as do I, for non perishable items, it makes sense. But for everything, when you have young children, meaning you’re paying more attention to what they’re eating, vs adults well you just deal with pasta, and adding to that this amount of treats, I admit I don’t understand. Either you have the cash or don’t.

This isn’t a joyful thread tbh, if you’re strapped for cash, I’d think you would be spending at least 30 on those 40 on bulk meat and large bags of frozen veg or similar rather that a cupboard of treats. Or I’m doing it all wrong.

Then again, to each their own, and op has not posted much, not enough to grasp her situation (for me at least), which is her right, but it does make any help possibilities limited bc we’re all half guessing

Not as skint as I used to be that should say. But still
Sorry, I keep forgetting no edit button

Why are they paying to replace it if it isn't being replaced? One or the other wouldn't be unreasonable in theory but even that depends on why they are sneaking food and hiding the evidence in the first place. I'd get to the bottom of that before I dished out consequences either way.

Eggblanket, but won't kids eventually get bored of sweets if they're not made a big deal of. Not all kids are crazy for sweets

@Comii9 agree with you, I cannot understand how 2 kids can eat a months snacks in a couple of days without OP noticing. There are alot of holes in this story

I would probably have replaced the stuff DH needs and not bought any more for the kids. If they did it again next month, I'd do the same thing, but not buy again the month after.

Ignore all the "well you can't be feeding them enough" type posts. My DDs help themselves constantly even though I say "please ask". It's not that I don't feed them well (they get a decent meal cooked from scratch each day), it's because they love snack foods, and they are kids.

Do you even have any DC?

@Floomobal you can't of read many. It's probably a lie from OP anyway. There's pound shops all over ffs. You don't need to get a taxi.

Our Aldi does babybel and Tesco sell them pricematched to Aldi. Maybe depends on individual stores.

Thats not true, there's no pound shop near me.

As someone who spent their whole childhood steeling food and hiding wrappers, it had nothing to do with hunger!