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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to give up Narnia?

374 replies

dobermeister · 21/03/2023 10:48

When DD was a toddler I created a Narnia in her room. Basically there was an adjoining room from her bedroom, I removed the door, put a wardrobe on either side, and made the other room into Narnia. It has snowy woodland painted on all the walls, a bookcase, cushions on the floor and is basically a “snug”. DD adores in still and is always in there.

DH now wants to get rid of Narnia and turn it into a storeroom for DDs stuff. This is totally unnecessary as we have 3 other spare bedrooms as well as a cellar.

DD wants to keep Narnia. DH thinks it’s babyish and a waste of space as her bedroom is already a big room.

His issue is that his kids don’t have stuff like this at their mum’s house but that’s not mine or DDs fault is it?!

What do you think?

OP posts:
Aerielview · 21/03/2023 19:38

Can you come and make me a Narnia please op? It sounds magical.
If you don't need the storage, I'd keep it (forevermore!)

Aerielview · 21/03/2023 19:38

I think we'd all love to see a photo!

DaddySolo · 21/03/2023 19:39

tel Da Husband dat Da daughter loves it end of, tell hum he can get razclarted, YA BOMBA CLART. P.S. big up da yardi rams

CombatBarbie · 21/03/2023 19:40

I need to see a photo, it sounds awesome. Our snug room is a Harry Potter bar..... I'd be fuming if DH told me to redecorate.

MyNameOnHisGuitar · 21/03/2023 19:40

SquidwardBound · 21/03/2023 19:27

But why would it have been marvellous if the OP had done what their father could not be bothered to do himself?

If they miss out, it’s because neither of their parents were willing to do it. That’s not the OP’s fault.

Nothing would have stopped their father picking up a bloody paint brush to make his children happy.

Show quote history

He should have decorated their rooms and the fact that he didn’t shows he’s a selfish arsehole that cant be bothered making effort for his children.

But who the fuck would choose to be with a man like that?

CinnamonJellyBeans · 21/03/2023 19:42

@Liorae @SquidwardBound

The kids were not late teens at all when the room was created. The difference between their spare room and the Narnia room must have stung them a bit. Their dad was too lazy. OP should have galvanised him into action, or done it herself, especially.

Having kids under your roof is your concern gives you a duty of care for their happiness and well-being while they are in your home. Lots of men need to be nagged and encouraged by women to do stuff with and for their kids. I feel it is not right to let your husband be lazy with his kids, just because it's not your own child that you birthed that is doing without.

GoodChat · 21/03/2023 19:42

DaddySolo · 21/03/2023 19:39

tel Da Husband dat Da daughter loves it end of, tell hum he can get razclarted, YA BOMBA CLART. P.S. big up da yardi rams

You finished your homework already?

Liorae · 21/03/2023 19:49

CinnamonJellyBeans · 21/03/2023 19:42

@Liorae @SquidwardBound

The kids were not late teens at all when the room was created. The difference between their spare room and the Narnia room must have stung them a bit. Their dad was too lazy. OP should have galvanised him into action, or done it herself, especially.

Having kids under your roof is your concern gives you a duty of care for their happiness and well-being while they are in your home. Lots of men need to be nagged and encouraged by women to do stuff with and for their kids. I feel it is not right to let your husband be lazy with his kids, just because it's not your own child that you birthed that is doing without.

I must have missed the post where the OP specified the ages of the step kids when their father moved in with her?

CinnamonJellyBeans · 21/03/2023 19:51

If they are late teen now and the room has presumably been in use for several years, then they were not late teens when it was created.

Snugglemonkey · 21/03/2023 19:56

lazycats · 21/03/2023 11:45

The DD's age seems rather pertinent here but the OP seems unwilling to divulge it.

I do not think the Dad's age matters at all.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 21/03/2023 20:00

It really doesn't matter how old the DD is - from what OP has said dd likes it, doesn't want to change it, and it doesn't affect anyone other than her. Wtf should I be changed because OPs partner decrees it's too babyish. It's none of his damn business.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 21/03/2023 20:01

It, not I

SquidwardBound · 21/03/2023 20:04

CinnamonJellyBeans · 21/03/2023 19:42

@Liorae @SquidwardBound

The kids were not late teens at all when the room was created. The difference between their spare room and the Narnia room must have stung them a bit. Their dad was too lazy. OP should have galvanised him into action, or done it herself, especially.

Having kids under your roof is your concern gives you a duty of care for their happiness and well-being while they are in your home. Lots of men need to be nagged and encouraged by women to do stuff with and for their kids. I feel it is not right to let your husband be lazy with his kids, just because it's not your own child that you birthed that is doing without.

Stop making women responsible for men’s failings.

SquidwardBound · 21/03/2023 20:05

MyNameOnHisGuitar · 21/03/2023 19:40

He should have decorated their rooms and the fact that he didn’t shows he’s a selfish arsehole that cant be bothered making effort for his children.

But who the fuck would choose to be with a man like that?

Show quote history

Again, somehow MNers make women more responsible for lazy men than the men themselves.

MyNameOnHisGuitar · 21/03/2023 20:08

SquidwardBound · 21/03/2023 20:05

Again, somehow MNers make women more responsible for lazy men than the men themselves.

Show quote history

Try reading my first my first sentence.
I’ve no time for fathers who can’t make effort for their children or men like this in general.

But I also have no time for women who are ok with men treating their kids like this.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 21/03/2023 20:13

CinnamonJellyBeans · 21/03/2023 19:42

@Liorae @SquidwardBound

The kids were not late teens at all when the room was created. The difference between their spare room and the Narnia room must have stung them a bit. Their dad was too lazy. OP should have galvanised him into action, or done it herself, especially.

Having kids under your roof is your concern gives you a duty of care for their happiness and well-being while they are in your home. Lots of men need to be nagged and encouraged by women to do stuff with and for their kids. I feel it is not right to let your husband be lazy with his kids, just because it's not your own child that you birthed that is doing without.

Nope.

Father’s job, not OP.

SemperIdem · 21/03/2023 20:14

CinnamonJellyBeans · 21/03/2023 19:05

I'm sure Narnia is fab and you should keep it.

It's a shame that the decor of your stepchildren's rooms was dependent upon your DH, as he was too lazy, so they had to go without.

It would have been marvellous if you could have picked up the paintbrush on their behalf too, then everyone would have been happy.

Oh just shut up

DeanVolecapeAKAelderberry · 21/03/2023 20:16

Or the job of the children's own mother in their principal residence, ideally paid for by their father.

I love the idea of Narnia accessed via a wardrobe - best thing ever.

HoneyPotBee · 21/03/2023 20:17

Can you post pics please Smile

JudgeRudy · 21/03/2023 20:25

dobermeister · 21/03/2023 10:48

When DD was a toddler I created a Narnia in her room. Basically there was an adjoining room from her bedroom, I removed the door, put a wardrobe on either side, and made the other room into Narnia. It has snowy woodland painted on all the walls, a bookcase, cushions on the floor and is basically a “snug”. DD adores in still and is always in there.

DH now wants to get rid of Narnia and turn it into a storeroom for DDs stuff. This is totally unnecessary as we have 3 other spare bedrooms as well as a cellar.

DD wants to keep Narnia. DH thinks it’s babyish and a waste of space as her bedroom is already a big room.

His issue is that his kids don’t have stuff like this at their mum’s house but that’s not mine or DDs fault is it?!

What do you think?

Without knowing the exact set up with visitation from SC I can sort of understand. Let's say he has 2 children who each have a room at their dads (your) house. I can see them being a little jealous however you didn't build it last week did you. Assuming his children are older could you get something for them....maybe a Chill Out shack in the garden that they are allowed to sleep out on during the summer, where they get input with the decor.
Be careful though that by trying to 'equalise' things you create a rift between the siblings. I'm curious, why has this been raised. Do the SC share a room or feel that it's only theirs for the night? It's odd to bring it up now.

crosstalk · 21/03/2023 20:40

#TeamNarnia. But you do need to sit down calmly with DH and get to the bottom of this. Why now? did he object in the beginning? are his kids thriving? do you welcome them round? presume your DD is much younger so bit of a generation gap there so potentially hard to meld.

Poochypaws · 21/03/2023 21:20

That sounds utterly amazing . What a great idea. Love to see a picture if you can find one. If you DD loves it and you love it and you have space then keep it. It would be madness to get rid of something that makes your daughter so happy.

LuluLehman · 21/03/2023 22:02

You do know, don't you, that if he insists that you destroy Narnia MN will just start a chang.org petition to have it reinstated. And judging by all the comments on here we'll reach 10,000 signatures in no time.

2013isback · 21/03/2023 22:29

LuluLehman · 21/03/2023 22:02

You do know, don't you, that if he insists that you destroy Narnia MN will just start a chang.org petition to have it reinstated. And judging by all the comments on here we'll reach 10,000 signatures in no time.

We need 100,000 to have it debated in Parliament, though ...

LuluLehman · 21/03/2023 22:33

2013isback · 21/03/2023 22:29

We need 100,000 to have it debated in Parliament, though ...

Show quote history

Let's do it.