To not want to give up Narnia?

[dobermeister]

When DD was a toddler I created a Narnia in her room. Basically there was an adjoining room from her bedroom, I removed the door, put a wardrobe on either side, and made the other room into Narnia. It has snowy woodland painted on all the walls, a bookcase, cushions on the floor and is basically a “snug”. DD adores in still and is always in there.

DH now wants to get rid of Narnia and turn it into a storeroom for DDs stuff. This is totally unnecessary as we have 3 other spare bedrooms as well as a cellar.

DD wants to keep Narnia. DH thinks it’s babyish and a waste of space as her bedroom is already a big room.

His issue is that his kids don’t have stuff like this at their mum’s house but that’s not mine or DDs fault is it?!

What do you think?

Wow I love this!

It sounds amazing, definitely keep it

There's something more going on here if you don't need to use the room. Why would he be so insistent.

Maybe it triggers him because he was never treated with such love or feels his kids should have been but weren't and it makes him feel inadequate.

From what you have said, this sounds lovely, 100% keep it and I'd look for something underneath about what his issue is - because it feels a bit weird.

Do you think next door would consider giving up their master bedroom so I could use my wardrobe to create a Narnia room? I want one...

OP; you only think about getting rid of Narnia when your daughter tires of it.

Tell your husband from me, he's a knob.

Your dh is the White Witch. You are Aslan. You must protect your daughter of Eve and save Narnia.

YANBU at all - you sound like an amazing Mum with a great imagination. Your lucky DD! Keep it for as long as she wants it (which I’m guessing will be many years).

Your DH sounds a bit mean. He’s wrong on this.

You're never too old for Narnia. C S Lewis used to say "the inside is bigger than the outside," meaning the human imagination is greater than the material world. And I guess that's what Narnia represents. Every time you read Dickens or Jane Austen or Carl Sagan or Stephen Hawking, or any other great writer, you deepen and enrich your own imagination. I think of the mind as like a room you have to live in until you die. If you fill that room with ugly, boring things, you'll be miserable. If you fill it with beautiful, interesting things, you'll be happy.

He sounds like a horrible man.

Keep Narnia and feed DH to the (Belgian) wolves.

I'm considerably older than your daughter and I'd love this! Your husband is only jealous (of a child) because he couldn't be bothered to stir his stumps for his own children. Talk about dog in a manger.. 🌹

Is DD his? If not, he’s even more of a prick. Please don’t do this to your dd.

Absolutely keep it!!!!

Keep it!

But the dynamic of your relationship sounds unusual. How do you get to the point that you find yourself in a relationship with someone who won't even make the effort to decorate his own kids' rooms, when you are someone who is prepared to create Narnia?

I think I would tell him that removal of Narnia is not happening. Discussion about why he wants to get rid of it, causing upset all round, when you have no need for the space -that needs to happen.

he sounds like a grumpy old man.

Why are you assuming that the OP's husband is paying for everything at their house? For all we know, the OP has the fabled MN "six figure salary" and has paid for Narnia all on her own.

I'd keep Narnia for as long as your daughter wants it, OP. Including if she still wants it when she's 55.

I saw a Narnia room on a makeover show years ago and always wanted to copy.

Why is he being literally the villain in a children's story?

Why are you assuming that the OP's husband is paying for everything at their house? For all we know, the OP has the fabled MN "six figure salary" and has paid for Narnia all on her own.

tbf if she had I doubt the subject of getting rid would have come up. it's very odd that a father wants to get rid of something that brings joy to his dc & has zero impact on him. Sounds like a power imbalance.

I think he just sounds like a miserable bastard.

How lovely! I caught up with an old friend recently who told me she and her husband had done the secret room with access by a bookcase-thing and was so jealous. If only I had the space for something magical like this :) don't let that muggle piss on your parade! He can keep his junk in the garage.

As far as stealth boasts go, I actually genuinely love this one!

I'm sitting here imagining what it's like and as much as I'm middle aged, I'd love my very own Narnia!

Why?
Should her mum start discouraging books and encouraging makeup and screen time once she hits the age of 8?

@dobermeister this sounds fucking amazing!
Why not sit down with DH and the other kids and ask them if they would like to decorate their rooms?

I’d never get rid of it. What a dream to have a space like that!

Wow! That is absolutely brilliant. Keep it, even when you eventually sell the house. 😀😀

Tbh, it sounds pretty standard for many divorced dads.

Far too many of them try to avoid facing up to their divorced dad guilt by denying new partners and younger children things.

Often, as in this case, you find that the new partner has to do most things for their child(ren) herself, and to at for it all. And still finds herself fighting against a man who would choose for her and the child(ren) to be much less happy because it makes him feel better about himself.

Should say ‘and to pay for it all’.

because how often do we see the mother of the younger child being forced to shoulder all the financial and practical responsibility for her child(ren) with no help from her husband - all because he’s got older children?