To be gobsmacked at Kate Ferdinand complaining about not getting a Mother’s Day card from her then-boyfriend Rio’s children

[AngeloMysterioso]

When she’d only been living with them six months, and moved in when they’d been together less than a year?! And their own actual mother had died of cancer?

I get that she was already taking a great deal of care of them and would have appreciated some acknowledgment of that, but this is just taking the piss.

As she explained, she wanted a token of appreciation for essentially being a big part of those children's lives, from her boyfriend, the father of those children. She didn't want them to see her as their mum.

If you can't understand that perhaps you shouldn't comment, you're embarrassing yourself.

Why do you hate step mother's?

I don’t have an agenda against step mothers. My sister is a step mother. I have an agenda against adults yapping because kids didn’t shower them with Mother’s Day cards after six months, children whose mother has recently died. But yes if you don’t want to take on the children and the complexities that go with that, don’t go out with men with children, it really is that simple.

Making more shit up. She hasn't said she doesn't want to deal with it either. I feel sorry for your sister.

@Birdsbirdsbirds summed it up well there. I've never expected anything from my DSC on mother's day and when they were little I always helped/encouraged them to make cards for their mum. I did, however, appreciate a little something from my DH as its a tough gig. He would often do this without letting them know. As they got older, they made me cards and brought me gifts themselves without anyone asking them too and that meant alot. Now as teens they've stopped doing that and that's fine too. I've since had my own DC and often my DSDs will help them make me a card. It's not that hard to understand and this fake narrative that people like @eyerolecentral is toxic.

Six months. She had lived with them for six months. She doesn’t even consider how difficult Mother’s Day would be for bereaved children, she only thought of herself. She didn’t even think that her partner might even find the day difficult given the actual mother of his children had recently died.

Sorry, how do you know she didn't consider them? Do you live inside her brain?

Or are you just making more shit up?

Boring. Boring step mother hating bollocks. It's old. It's embarrassing.

@Birdsbirdsbirds I'd just give up now...

I do not hate step mothers, I know many great step mothers. I cannot stand adults who make choices and then complain about how difficult it is. I have a hard time with adults that resent the children of the person they choose to get in to a relationship with. The children didn’t ask for it.

@eyerollecentral so she's now resenting the children is she? Jesus wept...

Why??? I’ve been nothing but supportive of her, her husband and all their children. I treat the step children as I do my other nieces and nephews. I know how difficult it can be. If she had come moaning to me like this silly woman is I would have told her to wise up to herself.

I’ve never liked her. She comes across as a self-absorbed princess.
The whole thing makes me feel sad for the children’s deceased mother.
Every time I’ve listened to her interviews about her ‘struggles’ to establish herself in the family she makes me feel sick. She uses it all for attention, and it’s all ‘me, me, me’, nothing about the children she claims to mother. And I’m sure the reality is likely to be they are handed over to nanny’s.

Ah right, I hope you've never complained about anything ever, then.

She doesn't resent the children. Stop making shit up ffs!! What is fucking wrong with you?!

Again, your poor poor fucking sister. Does she know how you talk about people like her? Because I bet she's not found it all smooth sailing. I'd put money on it.

Bullshit you're supportive. You don't think she should be able to complain about or struggle with anything.

@eyerollcentral I assume all mothers should never complain about how hard it can be because I guess they should have just not had children. It's they simple right?

Well she doesn’t seem to have given the children much consideration by broadcasting her feelings about it now. You are projecting so much of your own experience it’s unreal. The fact remains that if you don’t want to be a step mother you don’t have to be one. No one compels anyone to go out with anyone else. Don’t get involved with someone with children if you don’t want to deal with the ups and downs of that, it’s really simple.

I'm not projecting at all! My step child's mother is very much alive, nor did I move in after six months!

No, nobody has to be a step mother. Nobody has to be a twat on the internet either, especially when they don't have a fucking clue what they're on about.

@eyerollcentral you are a toxic person and I hope you never become a stepmother. Actually, I hope you do for a bit of reality. Just not to my kids thanks. God I wish there was something more interesting on telly so I wouldn't be engaging with this crap.

That does make a huge difference.

Having read what she said, I don’t think it’s that bad. She seems to be saying she knows she was being unreasonable. This isn’t classic step parent stuff. she stepped into the ‘mother role’ because the mother is dead. It wasn’t her or the kids or should have been managing what the expectations were there. It was Rio’s place to keep them all safe.

Of course I have complained and if I complained in a totally unreasonable way people have pointed that out to me. Kate is totally unreasonable here.
‘Again, your poor poor fucking sister. Does she know how you talk about people like her? Because I bet she's not found it all smooth sailing. I'd put money on it.’ LOL you haven’t a clue. I’ve been her number one supporter, I’ve been the one she has rang in tears, I’ve been the one helping her take care of all the children all their lives and btw I’m very close to her step children, so I’m not the ogre you seem to think I am. I know how difficult it is for someone to take on someone else’s children. That’s why I’ve avoided relationships with men with children. I know how hard it is, I’ve seen it first hand. You keep your blinkers on and keep thinking anyone that criticises a totally self centred woman (Kate Ferdinand) hates all step mothers. You sound ridiculous.

Not sure what the issue is. She said she was upset that Rio didn't get her a card as she was essentially co-parenting and would have liked some acknowledgement, also felt selfish and a twat feeling like that, got upset in private and Rio didn't even know she'd been upset.

She didn't say anything about expecting anything from the kids.

Sorry, youve been supportive? But I thought she wasn't allowed to complain about her self made situation?

No, I don't think you do know how difficult it is actually, I don't think anyone does who hasn't actually done it. I don't think you can know.

I don't think anyone who criticises her hates step mother's, I think YOU hate them. It's obvious. You're doing a really shite job of hiding your hatred.

I’m not a toxic person. I’ve been a caring aunt to my sister’s step children and we love each other. I know how hard it can be, that’s why when I was single I avoided men with children as boyfriends.

@YetMoreNewBeginnings

Even though I don't know you,

I really think you come across a good step mum, to your step son,

His lucky to have such a lovely person in his life,

I like your emphatic, understanding attitude towards him, particularly at confusing obviously difficult turbulent time,

You just let things be organic. so he naturally felt he wanted you to known as mum.

x