Am I being lazy? Washing my child

[Daftmum47]

I take my child swimming at least once a week, often twice, and afterwards I shower him and wash his hair. But I’ve let myself slip into lazy ways of not always bathing him at home, without fail, every week. He’s probably not teaching neglected levels of unclean, but equally I’m not teaching him personal hygiene. I have ADHD and come from a slightly chaotic home environment myself. Do other mums sometimes skip bath times if their child is going swimming? Yes = YANBU

@TheBadLuckOfTeelaBrown I do wonder what is the matter with the kids of the parents on this thread as they must be filthy to need bathing daily. Genuinely. Unless you live on a farm and/or doing lots of physical stuff every day there is no need.

Is it a genuine question though? Unless your child sits at home all day I don’t understand how a 5 year old isn’t getting dirty!
They should be playing outside every day, drawing, painting, and even things like eating aren’t the cleanest for a child that age.

I’ve been around plenty of babies and young children at toddler groups who smell, have black nails and caked scum around their ears and on their head. It’s only down to them not being washed enough.

I don’t understand why so many people say “well we only bathed once a week” as though that’s the argument for everything-4 year olds also used to be sent up chimneys-is that still ok?

I think Wednesday and Friday isn’t great, there needs to be at least one other committed bath/shower in there too. Washing in between is fine, as long as you make sure their genitals are included-kids aren’t known for their wiping talents!

If he's only showing after swimming, then he must he pretty grubby by the time he gets into the pool on a Wednesday. Not nice for other people using the pool!

Some people don’t smell though. Im a mostly daily showerer but a friend openly admits she only bathes once a week, doesn’t shower in between or anything. Never ever smells, has beautifully healthy hair and skin. She never smells of anything so isn’t trying to mask the smell with perfume etc.

People here freaking out about their kids not being hosed down with soap and water daily yet how many of them use bidets after they use the toilet themselves? Very few I reckon.
Kids don't need washing all the time.
Adults need it or we stink. If your kids stink see a doctor.

I agree @Albiboba , most 5 year old boys I know look like they've been through the trenches by bedtime! They're basically a muck magnet at that age.

I think what I am about to say may sound harsh but all other life experience and diagnoses aside- you must keep your kids clean

Work out a way that suits and get on with it. It's a life skill but also deeply connected to self esteem and self worth. I was a smelly kid with not many clothes that were not washed often (due to parental mental health)
Get it sorted, it is your responsibilty, no matter what.

Unwashed kids do smell. Even if the parents are nose blind to it.

This is what I was thinking. Harking back to the days when many people didn’t have indoor plumbing at all or had to plan for having enough hot water for a bath isn’t relevant now for the vast majority, and in those days strip washes were a thing. I never understand people saying they have them now when it’s so much quicker and easier to just jump in the shower. I can’t imagine how unpleasant it must be standing in the bathroom dripping everywhere and getting cold.

Anyway, my children would have looked grubby well before a week had elapsed and would have had dirty fingernails so every other day is a minimum for me. Showering at the pool only counts if it’s without his swimmers on and he’s being properly washed with soap.

"They should be playing outside every day, drawing, painting, and even things like eating aren’t the cleanest for a child that age."

You can wash the bits that need washing with a flannel. A bath or shower isn't essential.

My two year old has a shower twice a week in the winter. Last summer it was three times a week. I only shower him every day on holiday as we tend to go to hot countries so there's often a lot of suncream and dust/sand from playing in parks and walking.

On a day to day basis he does not get dirty enough to require a shower. His hands are cleaned before every meal and his face and hands are wiped/washed after every meal. He's still in nappies so his bum is washed every time he has a nappy change.

Once he gets to puberty he can shower every day but right now he really doesn't need it. The only thing he smells of is our clothes washing powder 🤔

I would agree with this. I have ADHD, as does my children.

Although, on the other hand, it's much more difficult to convince my mid-teen son that he needs to wash daily now as we didn't wash him daily as a child. It's not part of his 'routine' and he can't be bothered or see the point unless he has done sport.

The original poster could just be creating a rod for her own back in the long run. Making thinks routine is so much less taxing on the brain, and the ADHD brain, than having to remember or make time for them.

I find a quick shower much easier and less fiddly than flannels or washing 'bits and pits' in the sink. Takes 5 minutes.

It’s fine. If you want to add in a Sunday or Monday shower in too the. Great. I pop my 5 yo in the shower and she does most of it herself.

My DC (nearly 3 and 4.5 months) have a bath 3 times per week. We used to do every evening as part of DS's bedtime routine, but he went through a phase of being scared if the bath, so we switched it to 3 times in afternoons. DS isn't scared anymore, but we kept the less frequent afternoon baths because it works better for us and the children simply aren't dirty.

Twice a week bath or shower is plenty. If one of those showers is after swimming, that’s perfectly fine.

@Albiboba
Is it a genuine question though? Unless your child sits at home all day I don’t understand how a 5 year old isn’t getting dirty!

Maybe because they’re not all the same?

My DS never got dirty as a child or as a teen. All through primary school, he never got holes in his trouser knees or came home covered in food stains or mud. He’s naturally not a mucky pup at all, unlike me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Except our bodies were more accepting of that. We are now giving ourselves issues with over washing. My DSIS is a dermatologist. She has very strong views on the damaged skin she sees through over washing and killing skin bacteria.

But people in hot countries are fine washing daily or several times a day. Skin looks great. And they actually use soap too, which plenty of people in the UK do not

If you shower everyday, you don't need a bidet after you poo because you wash soon after. TMI but if I feel dirty after a shit then I'd just get in the shower and wash my lower half/bum. Because I don't have dermatology anxiety.

Unless they're actually dirty, both my kids get a bath or shower every Wednesday and Sunday night, they wash their faces every morning and evening when they brush teeth, wash hands regularly, I don't see any need to adjust our routine at the moment

He's showering and washing at least once a week, mostly twice. If he looks and smells clean then I don't see any issues.

Washing every day does not cause skin problems ffs

Growing up it was a bath two or three times a week and often shared bath water at that! But I think if you add one more bath - say Sunday night, then at 5 you are fine with three baths a week (washing his face and hands more regularly though).
As he ages though he will need more, but presumably can be taught to wash himself.

Depends on your skin, if you have sensitive skin already then it does.

When my children were born I was told by the child health nurses to only wash them twice a week, but also to wash their bums at every nappy change rather than using wipes - so wash the necessary parts but not everything every day to limit skin issues.

I used to bathe mine about three times a week, alternate days, the days they didn’t get bathed they got a hands, face, botty and rub down with a sponge. Hair washed about twice a week.
I consider a shower after swimming a proper shower, it involves water, shampoo.