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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being lazy? Washing my child

284 replies

Daftmum47 · 14/03/2023 22:05

I take my child swimming at least once a week, often twice, and afterwards I shower him and wash his hair. But I’ve let myself slip into lazy ways of not always bathing him at home, without fail, every week. He’s probably not teaching neglected levels of unclean, but equally I’m not teaching him personal hygiene. I have ADHD and come from a slightly chaotic home environment myself. Do other mums sometimes skip bath times if their child is going swimming? Yes = YANBU

OP posts:
MintTeaAndChocolate · 15/03/2023 06:31

Daftmum47 · 14/03/2023 23:48

Interesting to see how different the views are on this. Tbh, even if I were a super organised mum I wouldn’t bathe my son everyday, maybe 3 x week.

The struggle of being a peri-menopausal working and widowed single mum with ADHD is real. I’m doing my best.

💛

Veryverycalmnow · 15/03/2023 06:37

Bath or shower every night is part of DS's bedtime routine. It seems to help all of us to have that routine before bed.
I don't think you're lazy if you're taking your child swimming twice a week, but do you have time to give him a bath or shower on those nights he isn't swimming?

EveSix · 15/03/2023 06:43

DC1 had a spell of eczema when little, and our GP advised just bathing once a week. I'd flannel face and make sure hands were clean, but as for the body -that was it. I adopted the same routine with DC2. Now, they have one, or possibly two, baths or showers per week, unless they're muddy. They wear freshly laundered uniform every day. They look smart and smell clean.

What is disgusting is that teacher's note which someone posted upthread. Sure, some children do come to school in grubby uniform and with a stale whiff about them. My professional response then is one of concern and compassion as I set about figuring out how I can support. I don't get the ick and write a shitty note, drawing attention to those children and shaming their parents. That's disgusting.

JennyJenny8675309 · 15/03/2023 06:44

My children always had a bath or shower daily from a young age. I’m surprised parents don’t think it’s necessary. Kids get very dirty in the course of a day. Their hair stinks as well if not washed every few days.

smellyflowers · 15/03/2023 06:48

Daftmum47 · 14/03/2023 23:53

Also people seem to be overlooking that at the moment he’s swimming twice a week, not once. In the past week it has been swimming on Wed and Fri, and he also came into the bath with me on Sunday.

Right so 2 showers and a bath? That seems plenty

pilates · 15/03/2023 06:48

It was part of our bedtime routine for my two. Bath, story and sleep.

ThePoshUns · 15/03/2023 06:49

It would be enough if you are also washing him properly at home every day, hands , face and bottom. If not then yes I'd say laZy and forming bad habits

MojoJoejoe · 15/03/2023 06:49

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emmathedilemma · 15/03/2023 06:51

How do you loose toothbrushes?? You keep them in a mug by the sink, stand at the sink to clean your teeth and put the brush back in the mug when you’ve finished!

MaireadMcSweeney · 15/03/2023 06:51

So he only gets a full body wash when he goes swimming?
yes that's unacceptable. Really gross. He should bath at least every other day. When he's a teenager he'll need to wash daily. If you don't instil good hygiene into him now it will be 100% harder when he's a teenager.
I bathed mine daily as part of bedtime routine and always made him brush his teeth. There are many things I didn't do well as a parent but now I have a teenage boy who baths/showers daily and brushes his teeth twice a day without even thinking about it, which I know from parents of his peers is very unusual.
I know you say you have ADHD but you need to find the strategies you employ to maintain a routine. Presumably you get him up for school, feed him regular meals and get him to swimming on time so building in a regular wash isn't impossible.

MojoJoejoe · 15/03/2023 06:53

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Minieggbrownies · 15/03/2023 06:56

My dc have always had a bath or shower every single day. I know lots on here will say there's no need, but in my opinion if you have access to hot water, it takes 5 minutes to shower and it freshens you up after school, playing etc and I don't see any good reason why not to. Unless eczema or something.

If they go swimming then yes they'll shower at swimming , but they'll still wash at home the next day.

So yes, I think yabu, it doesn't take long to bath or shower your dc and you could at the very least do it every other day.

HoppingPavlova · 15/03/2023 06:57

Kids don’t need to be washed once a day though! It’s not about not bothering, but it’s not required for health.

MissMaple82 · 15/03/2023 06:58

Twice a week is absolutely fine, plus a morning/nightly face and neck wash. Back in the day, kids got a bath once a week on a Sunday an nobody bayted an eye. It's absolutely NOT necessary to constantly wash your small children every day, it's wasteful of water for a start, which increases your carbon footprint. People are so extra these days it's sickening really, especially calling a parent neglectful for it

MojoJoejoe · 15/03/2023 06:58

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EveSix · 15/03/2023 07:02

Mojo, OP is reflective and self-aware.
What about you? Just bored, or suffering from that unfortunate character flaw of meanness as well?

GG1986 · 15/03/2023 07:02

If my child had shower and hair wash at swimming twice a week, I would prob only bath at home once a week. My 7 year old has 2 long baths and hair wash twice a week, then in the summer has a couple of extra showers.

Twiglets1 · 15/03/2023 07:03

Once a week is not enough to have a shower or Bath in my opinion. Especially when the weather gets warmer or as he gets older. It’s better to get him & yourself into good habits re personal hygiene. Not meant unkindly.

MissMaple82 · 15/03/2023 07:03

I wonder if these mums that wash their kids every day ever go swimming with their children, weekly. Hmm probably not

MojoJoejoe · 15/03/2023 07:04

MissMaple82 · 15/03/2023 07:03

I wonder if these mums that wash their kids every day ever go swimming with their children, weekly. Hmm probably not

I'm a swim teacher.

MojoJoejoe · 15/03/2023 07:06

MojoJoejoe · 15/03/2023 07:04

I'm a swim teacher.

Qualified, thanks.

minisoksmakehardwork · 15/03/2023 07:06

Mine have a pits/bits and face wash every day. They shower twice a week as part of our routine (also Adhd parenting here, to adhd kids). Sunday and Wednesday. It works for us. My girls tend to shower more frequently through choice. All take a shower other times if they need to.

At 5, your routine is fine as long as they are also having a daily wash other days. It's not clear from your post.

In terms of adhd parenting, cup next to the sink for toothbrushes and toothpaste. Put them back in after every teeth clean, soon becomes routine. If you have a second toilet, put another set in there - we have a downstairs loo and it's a time saver when kids 'forget' as they're about to leave for school.

cadink · 15/03/2023 07:06

He needs a wash more. A quick shower nightly does not take effort.

londonrach · 15/03/2023 07:10

Depends on age of child. My DD is a bath twice a week no more following doctor orders

MojoJoejoe · 15/03/2023 07:11

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