10 kids? To judge it not to judge?

[Sekena]

I don't have 10 kids lol BUT boyfriends Dad was one of 10 - boyfriend's dad was a 'rainbow' baby born after a stillbirth -although doubt if this term was used then. Boyfriend himself is one of 5 - and all the sibs get on.

On MN - you get for instance a lot of 'only child' threads and parents potential guilt for not providing siblings and the opinions on these quite rightly are overwhelmingly that onlies don't miss out and these only child stereotypes are nonsense - which I completely agree with - I firmly believe an only child can thrive and doesn't need siblings. However - I also believe that a child in a large family can also thrive - just like my boyfriend's dad did. However if I was to say I'd like 10 kids - would I be judged ? I haven't decided on this at all - I'm currently pregnant with my second - but honestly felt my DD thrived as an only so definitely didn't conceive to give Dd a sibling - am delighted for this child in its own right !

I'm currently open minded about family size and am a SAHM. But what are your opinions on families of 10 like my boyfriends Dad's - WIBU if this is what I wanted ?

Would I do it myself? No, never, not in a million years! Would I judge someone else for it? Also no.

I do wonder what makes people want to produce babies - do they not like to spend time with their older children/ like older children? this is a bit like saying I wonder why people have jobs when they have children….🙄

I do agree it was a different time back then - pre 1950

I think if you can financially and emotionally support a large family, then it's no one else's business. It's not for me to judge.

Tbf also people who are addicted to pregnancy/baby stage etc need psychiatric help not to have more and more kids.

Tbf also people who are addicted to pregnancy/baby stage etc need psychiatric help not to have more and more kids. but why do you think that’s the reason they’ve chosen a large family.

I think 10 children in this day and age is a bit extreme factoring in there is a huge housing crisis, but if it’s affordable and something you want to do I wouldn’t be judgemental.. it’s entirely up to you. My dad was one of 10 came from an Irish catholic family so it was not uncommon. However, they lived in poverty, this was 50 years ago. I think if someone was to have 10 children and be solely reliable on benefits that wouldn’t be fair.. it hard enough feeding 1 child whilst on benefits. But if you can afford to have 10 children and give them a good quality life as well as a good life for yourself then absolutely why not.

I think your reproductive choices are non of anyone else's business. People on Mumsnet do judge though, they judge based on assumptions about how your family runs practically and financially, non of their business!
They also judge on climate/environmental reasons which I think is particularly wrong headed - we want the environment to be good so we can thrive as humans and part of that thriving is having the choice to have children if we want to.

My dad is very into family history and a distant relative of ours had 25 kids. I had to put them on four lines to fit them on the family tree page.

He married his step-daughter a year after her mother died and had half his kids with her. Worst still, he must have run out of inspiration on the naming front and called two of his daughters Alice. Hmmmm....

In answer to your question, I would judge a little bit as it seems a bit unnecessary and, bluntly, there's already a shortage of housing.

Usually because something is empty in them and they need help. But in lots of cases adding more kids won’t fill it.

These negative comments are so unnecessary- argh ! I'm annoyed on your behalf

True - if the stillbirth was counted he'd be one of 11

My grandma had four live births and lots of miscarriages. One of her children also died in early childhood

Nobody seems to judge Elon Musk. I think he has nearly 8 or 9 by now? I shudder to think of their carbon footprints.

Tbf I judge him seven ways to Sunday but he also has even bigger things to judge him for too.

I agree - while I do think having an only child is potentially great - and I feel a child definitely doesn't need siblings - I also feel they don't need that much one to one attention either - children get to a certain age and sometimes wish their parent would do one - so being part of a large family imo can have a great outcome too

Very few families can truly afford more than 2 or 3 children. So if someone has a huge brood they either have no money worries or major money worries.

Of course I would judge. A parent cannot provide emotionally, developmentally, financially for so many children.

Even if you had 4 or 5 you would be doing a disservice to them all because you are spread so thin.

I don’t think it is possible to have enough time to provide each child with the individualized attention they deserve in a family that large. So yes, I do judge people who choose such large families.

that many pregnancies also increases risk to the mother’s health. Both parents do need to have at least some consideration for keeping themselves alive long enough for their children to reach adulthood. The death of one or both parents in a family that size could also be much more difficult to manage logistically than with a smaller family.

I honestly didn't realise this Blimey !!

Blimey 2 daughters with same name !

Same as boyfriend's dad - Irish Catholic - I think his dad was around 18 when the youngest was born

This. Totally would judge

I would judge. I think 2 children is enough when the world is overpopulated and, yes, I do realise the 2nd child could be twins or even triplets.

He's had a set of triplets and 2 sets of twins amongst them. I think his first child died.

I wouldn't judge anyone with lots of kids except for thinking how stressful and difficult life must be. Demands in parents are different than previous generations so there's a lot more hands on work involved.