10 kids? To judge it not to judge?

[Sekena]

I don't have 10 kids lol BUT boyfriends Dad was one of 10 - boyfriend's dad was a 'rainbow' baby born after a stillbirth -although doubt if this term was used then. Boyfriend himself is one of 5 - and all the sibs get on.

On MN - you get for instance a lot of 'only child' threads and parents potential guilt for not providing siblings and the opinions on these quite rightly are overwhelmingly that onlies don't miss out and these only child stereotypes are nonsense - which I completely agree with - I firmly believe an only child can thrive and doesn't need siblings. However - I also believe that a child in a large family can also thrive - just like my boyfriend's dad did. However if I was to say I'd like 10 kids - would I be judged ? I haven't decided on this at all - I'm currently pregnant with my second - but honestly felt my DD thrived as an only so definitely didn't conceive to give Dd a sibling - am delighted for this child in its own right !

I'm currently open minded about family size and am a SAHM. But what are your opinions on families of 10 like my boyfriends Dad's - WIBU if this is what I wanted ?

@FourTeaFallOut

To 10 per family? Or even 4?

Or to try to keep the rate stable at around 2?

Are you particularly mathematically challenged?

@FourTeaFallOut

Are you so defensive over your choice that you're incapable of not being rude?

Unless governments mandated that all women had two children, like some kind of Handmaidens Tale hellscape, then a tfr of 2.1 -population replacement levels - is impossible without larger families.

But it’s only those who give birth and those dying you have chosen to specify as a drain on the system. Ok, got the measure of you, thanks

@Eyerollcentral

I didn't choose anything

Those were the things relevant to the discussion about birth rates and ageing populations

And I even agreed with your lovely comment about fat people and smokers

@FourTeaFallOut

Tryimg to increase the birth rate by any means seems handmaid's tale like to me.

We shouldn't be incentivising having kids at all.

OP, in the nicest possible way....wouldn't it be wise of you to make your boyfriend to commit and get married before thinking of having any more childeren? You are already on number 2

Admittedly, it's been a few years since I read it, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't a tale of tax incentives and better childcare provision.

Even people banging on about climate change like Bill Gates and Prince William have 3 kids

Yes, the financial and cultural elite like to conduct their surmons on a pulpit of complete hypocrisy. I particularly enjoyed DiCaprio's conspicuous display of environmental angst while he swanned around on his mega yacht.

I'm one of 10, to irish catholic parents. SAHM, dad always worked but we probably relied on some benefits too, especially family allowance. I doubt we used more resources than a much smaller more affluent family. We never had a car, meals were cooked from scratch, so very little waste and very little packaging. Mum made most of our clothes and of course everything was handed down til it was threadbare. We didn't have many toys but always had someone to play with. We had very rare days out and even rarer holidays to Ireland to stay with relatives. All bar one went to university and have worked all our lives so paid back into the tax system. We were very lucky with a relatively generous welfare state and a good quality council house. I'm not sure a modern family of 10 would fare so well.

My husband and I are both the eldest of our respective families and we're young and just starting our family.
We have 1 kid and resource permitting we do hope to give him some siblings.
The majority of my siblings have positive sentiments about being part of a large clan.

This (six minute) video about the population crash in Asia shows different strategies that countries are using-it doesn’t have to be population crash/ economic collapse like China as Japan is adapting their strategy.

This was very common if the first child with the name had died. So that may well be what happened.

Admittedly, it's been a few years since I read it, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't a tale of tax incentives and better childcare provision.

😁

The 1950s was a very different time. Having children today is a choice. Would I judge a family of 10 born now? Yes I would. We are all educated enough to know there are limited resources and having money does not entitle you to take more than your fair share.
I think large, happy, nuclear families are one thing. Having children to many different partners-yep I judge. Stop doing it. It isn’t beneficial for children to have to endure endless boyfriends/girlfriends.
And breath.

I did try to put the link on to the page I mentioned earlier however mn appear to be checking my posts prior to allowing them (or denying them). If you're that interested in having your eyes opened about one particularly outsized family then a simple search of their name plus the words tattle life will show you the truth.

It’s hard not to judge isn’t it really because it’s not the norm and most people would hate to have ten kids! (3 is more than enough thanks 🤯) I knew of someone on another forum when my teenagers were little who had 6 or 7 girls and I think she’s gone on to have a few more children since, from what I’ve seen on Facebook.

@FourTeaFallOut

No but none of those have/will work

So what next?

There's no what next. It was just an observation following posts which described ways in which we could disincentivise large families in this country, that two thirds of countries in Europe are seeking to do the opposite.

@FourTeaFallOut

Except they're not.

Trying to incentivise keeping the birth rate stable is not the same as trying to incentivise large families

I've already explained this once. It's getting circular now. Let's just leave it shall we?

Germany has thrown a great deal of support at maternity including Maternity leave, Paternity leave, regular child benefits and family friendly policies. Their birth rates have jumped.