10 kids? To judge it not to judge?

[Sekena]

I don't have 10 kids lol BUT boyfriends Dad was one of 10 - boyfriend's dad was a 'rainbow' baby born after a stillbirth -although doubt if this term was used then. Boyfriend himself is one of 5 - and all the sibs get on.

On MN - you get for instance a lot of 'only child' threads and parents potential guilt for not providing siblings and the opinions on these quite rightly are overwhelmingly that onlies don't miss out and these only child stereotypes are nonsense - which I completely agree with - I firmly believe an only child can thrive and doesn't need siblings. However - I also believe that a child in a large family can also thrive - just like my boyfriend's dad did. However if I was to say I'd like 10 kids - would I be judged ? I haven't decided on this at all - I'm currently pregnant with my second - but honestly felt my DD thrived as an only so definitely didn't conceive to give Dd a sibling - am delighted for this child in its own right !

I'm currently open minded about family size and am a SAHM. But what are your opinions on families of 10 like my boyfriends Dad's - WIBU if this is what I wanted ?

Sorry @Botw1 CBA

Wish that life were so simple.

*To think there are no downsides to an increasingly aged population and no nuance to the question of whether this is a good thing or bad thing, suggests the kind of black and white naivety which fails to engage with proper debate.
*

This

Still not arguing FOR a family of10 or indeed more than 1.

Yes. Agreed. Climate change will also have consequences. (Not that larger families are a tipping point for climate change - the biggest increase in demand for energy and resources will be seen in developing counties as large segments of the impoverished populations move towards more comfortable lives).

@sunglassesonthetable

And no one is arguing that ageing population is a good thing.

It's not

But very few people want to address the issue.

Euthanasia for all over 75s?

No?

There are two types of people in this world; judgers and liars

And no one is saying life is simple.

Facts don't care about that either

It's like arguing with an overwrought teenager.

@FourTeaFallOut

If you have to resort to insults then I'm going to presume you are incapable of debate or argument

You aren't debating, you are clinging to mantras.

Let's kill all the old people then? Life isn't simple. Facts don't care. Repeat infinitly.

Do you have any facts to suggest that families of this size are statistically relevant to population levels or that they represent a significant factor in global warming?

@FourTeaFallOut

You keep saying I've said things I haven't.

Im not sure why

The office of national statistics show that there are just 284 women in the whole of the UK with over 10 children.

*No I don't do population modelling

Do you? *

No which is why I'm not stating what constitutes the 'wrong' amount of children.

ie 4 - 10 etc

On a personal level I def have enough though.

And remember @Botw1 'Planning' isn't the only way people end up with children.

Divorce, death, blended families, mistakes, fostering, adoption come into it also. So by simply 'having' more than 2 children doesn't mean you are advocating for it.

But that's nuanced obviously.

The office of national statistics show that there are just 284 women in the whole of the UK with over 10 children.

Hallelujah

@sunglassesonthetable

The idea that you could be seen to be advocating for larger families really seems to bother you

I'm one of 7 and my husband one of 10. We're orthodox Jewish and this is fairly common in my circles.
I had an overall fantastic upbringing and am grateful for that.
My husband loved/es his siblings and dynamic family life, however he felt resentful that there wasn't enough money growing up.

The idea that you could be seen to be advocating for larger families really seems to bother you

Nope. Knee jerk black and white judgments really bother me.

284 too many

@sunglassesonthetable

We all need to judge something eh

284 too many

sigh.

teen strikes again

Sigh

Can't debate strikes again

I don't judge but I do wonder how on earth do they do it?

I come from a large family and it was fun for the most part!

My mum pushed out 6 kids with absolutely no form of pain relief (that alone is scary to me). She later added 2 adopted kids to the mix but most of us had already left home by then.

Back then I guess it was more "normal" to have larger families. Dad was the breadwinner while mum was the "home maker".

Would I do it? NO. I'm knackered with just my one 😂

I'm one of 7 and my husband one of 10. We're orthodox Jewish and this is fairly common in my circles.
I had an overall fantastic upbringing and am grateful for that.
My husband loved/es his siblings and dynamic family life, however he felt resentful that there wasn't enough money growing up.

Are your cohort having as many children?

Yes, very much agreed. It seems to be the marker of moral superiority on here that you "never judge".

There's nothing wrong with having an opinion on something. How I'd feel about a family with 10 children would depend on a whole range of contextual factors.

My great grandmother had 13 for example, but this was a long time ago in rural Ireland with no access to contraception and very different social norms. I'd feel very differently if, say, my sister decided to have 10 children. Even laying aside awareness of climate change, she struggles considerably with the two she already has- in terms of time, money, managing behaviour etc- and I'd think she was a bloody idiot to have "just one more" again and again and again.

I’m one of 10. My life was compromised looking after younger siblings.

There was never enough, money, food, space, peace.

Of the 10 only 4 have children.

I have no idea why anyone would think having 10 is a good idea.

I'd very much doubt anyone having 10 or more children is doing it for entirely altruistic reasons, to provide a work force for a future ageing population.
....and even if that was their intent, it shouldn't be at the expense of the actual children at the time.

I'd very much doubt anyone having 10 or more children is doing it for entirely altruistic reasons, to provide a work force for a future ageing population.
....and even if that was their intent, it shouldn't be at the expense of the actual children at the time.

👍🏻 Luckily only 284 women have done just that.