Do you get irrationally annoyed when people repeat the same stories?

[SeptemberWeGotFire]

Just some examples. I became friends with a coworker (I’ve been there a year) and she regularly tells me the story how the person before me was so quiet and seeing him bloom “she’s like a proud big sister”. Word for word it’s almost the same. Three times at least.

My sister will tell me the same stories over and over. And I sit there thinking do you not think you told me this at the time it happened seeing as I’ve known you my entire life. Like why do you think this is new information?

My manager has repeated the same example/saying to me in every meeting we have twice a week for the last 2 months. He even starts it with I know I might have said this … no shit.

Sorry I’m not a rude person, but inside I’m screaming I KNOW!!!

I do it. Not repeated stories from years ago, but things that I’ve heard about or has happened more recently - days or weeks/months ago. I sometimes see a certain look on my son or daughter’s face and I will stop myself and say, oh did I tell you this already or oh was it actually you that told me this? I get embarrassed when I do it. I think I may have some kind of memory problem. I literally have no memory of having told the person the story - or them having told me.

No not at all. My dad has always done this. I let him carry on because I know he enjoys telling these stories.

DM does it. As do all her family. The stories are dull to begin with, packed full of people you never met, or never will meet and shoehorned into all and any conversations. They have zero interest in you or your life, they will ask as a token gesture but interrupt you as soon as humanly possible to foist an ancient anecdote onto you.
Even if you say "yes, you've told me this one, you hear it again anyway.

@HowcanIgetoutofthisalive ha, my mum does this with Eastenders. We used to watch it together when I was a kid but I have not watched a single episode since I left home at the age of 16, over two decades ago now! She STILL asks if I saw last night's episode, and what do I think of the XYZ storyline, and 'ooh that XYZ character eh, can you BELIEVE she did that?!' etc etc.

It just doesn't seem to register that I have no idea what she's on about (well actually I vaguely do, but only because she insists on telling me about it all the time!) and certainly no interest in it 😅

I definitely agree with this. With the guy I know who does it, the conversation is often taken over by his stories from years ago and as a result we don’t talk about what’s going on now. It’s maybe a social coping mechanism for him as I think he’s more comfortable telling a story than generating/responding to normal conversation.

I have an older, retired friend who does this. She used to work in political journalism (decades ago), and I must have heard some of her stories umpteen times.

Have you posted about this before OP?

My Dad does this all the time. I've stopped reminding him and just listen now as I can't be bothered saying you've already told me that story for the 20th time lol

I have a friend that does this, and it's got to the point where I don't see her as often because of it. She tells me the same things every time I see her,things that happened years ago,and its all negative stuff- how her Mum had died from undiagnosed cancer, the rows she has with her sister,her brother not talking to her......it brings me down and I have a lot going on in my life at the moment so I've distanced myself a bit. I tried saying things like " yes I remember you saying " or " I think you already told me that" but it makes no difference.

This absolutely hits the nail on the head!

I see what you did there @junglejane66

🤣

My mum and dad do this often.

I have a couple of times said to them "I bet you then said ......" and they ask how I know, "simple, you've told me this one a few times before" 🤷‍♂️

I was in a relationship with a man who did this to excess.

It lasted about 13 months, and this was one of the minor reasons why I wanted to end it.

When I moved from super politely saying "oh yeah I think I remember you telling me that before to an only slightly less polite "yeah, I remember you saying that before" he gave an angry response. It took me up to 20 times hearing them to do that.

He was quite narcissistic, emotionally immature (he was also very controlling & jealous which was the main reason for ending the relationship) ..... I don't know if it's narcissism, or the euphoric recall someone has mentioned or some kind of compulsion. He clearly enjoyed and got something telling those stories & anecdotes, and that was untempered. .. rather he couldn't temper that with any awareness that he'd told you then numerous times before.

He seemed good humoured and chatty to begin with, but on repeat 20 plus of the same stories (on one occasion tapping me hard on the arm or leg to maintain my attention and reinforce his points) he seemed like a bore, and "limited".

There are some personality issues behind this but I'm not sure exactly what.

I've got a number of personal anecdotes and a number of friends and acquaintances. I really can't remember who's heard what. Do most people?

It depends how often I hear it. I grew up listening to my nan repeating stories of when she was little and when my dad was young and now looking back it was good because the family history knowledge is there to pass down.

I confess i get very irrationally annoyed with it.

My mother and my MIL are the worst culprits for it. A couple of my friends do it to a very small degree, like we all probably do. But most people will often actually ask if they've told a story before launching into it so that the listener can say 'yes, that was v funny' and the chat moves on.

Not so with DM and MIL it's like being trapped in front of a steam roller. Like a pp said you get a spidey sense that the chat is heading inexorably towards a particular trigger and there's no dragging it off that path! It's coming and there's nothing you can do. Recently i have been finding ways to physically escape!

Worst part with DM is the excruciating boring detail she goes into coupled with the fact that 90% of it is lies.

With MIL it's 90% boasting about how wonderful she was at parenting/hosting/her work/her wife work and how indispensable she is to the world in general.

I am the person you are describing 😆 I can’t remember who Iv told what to im afraid 🤣🤣🤣

dont be ridiculous 🤣

My brother has told me the story of how he had to pull off the A30 on a particularly bad rainy night and have dinner in a pub (fish and chips) at least 3, if not 4 times now. It happens every time we drive past this particular pub together - which has been 3 or 4 times since this incident occurred 10 years ago.

My step-mother prefixes it by saying "remember the story about X doing Y?" and then re-tells it all again. I can manage 6 hours in her company MAXIMUM.

@Mamma2017
Why is my opinion ridiculous?

Having had two parents with dementia who can tell you the same story four times in twenty minutes I think that I am immune now when other people do it.

After enduring it for years from my mother, I have told my kids to tell me each time I start repeating some crap anecdote, and to tell me to SHUT THE FUCK UP. My daughter recently took me at my word, good for her 😂

Worst part with DM is the excruciating boring detail she goes into coupled with the fact that 90% of it is lies.

With MIL it's 90% boasting about how wonderful she was at parenting/hosting/her work/her wife work and how indispensable she is to the world in general.

DM and her sister are these two!! - DM wouldn't say she lies but if she's repeating an anecdote someone else tells her then you can guarantee it's been chopped in half, extended, mutilated, embellished and garnished to such a degree that it barely bears any resemblance to what actually happened.

Aunt is just the nearest thing to a narcissist that I've ever met.

Droll.