Do you get irrationally annoyed when people repeat the same stories?

[SeptemberWeGotFire]

Just some examples. I became friends with a coworker (I’ve been there a year) and she regularly tells me the story how the person before me was so quiet and seeing him bloom “she’s like a proud big sister”. Word for word it’s almost the same. Three times at least.

My sister will tell me the same stories over and over. And I sit there thinking do you not think you told me this at the time it happened seeing as I’ve known you my entire life. Like why do you think this is new information?

My manager has repeated the same example/saying to me in every meeting we have twice a week for the last 2 months. He even starts it with I know I might have said this … no shit.

Sorry I’m not a rude person, but inside I’m screaming I KNOW!!!

It can also be a trauma response, I think. My friend had a really upsetting and stressful encounter with someone once and has told me the story many times. I think it's because it was the first time she'd really stood up for herself in an abusive situation and it was a watershed for her
I don't mind listening again because I care about her and she needs to say it.

@EmmaEmerald

Reply to your question @HeavenIsAHalfpipe thread post bit earlier on,

It's a way of using humour to ridicule someone at their expense,
So the story tellor comes across as witty entertaining, to others friends family members co workers ect,

especially if and often is the case the story teller is insecure has low self esteem, so feels needs to use the story as a way to prop up their fragile self esteem to disguise this of themselves,

It's a form of emotional abuse

It's the shitty individual male or female choice of verbal emotional abuse as its effective as ghat individual can get away with the most Arsehole way of nastiness, in a Sly abusive,
Without audience and individual who is their individual target of emotional abuse is realising what's happening,
Makes that emotional abused individual feel confused embarrassed belittled ect

It's the Arseholes males and females) choice of verbal weapon to make themselves feel better at others expense,

Narastistics/ schiopathic types of individuals who are Arseholes just love this way method of making people feel like crap

Oops typo mistake I ment to say that,

Mistake word was ghat

I think this is more like reminiscing, which I see differently. As with the poster sharing stories about her dad with her aunt, it’s a deliberate re-enjoyment of these moments; it doesn’t really matter that you’ve heard it all before. The frustration comes when someone tells you something for the third or fourth time as if it’s brand new information (and usually something you could have lived without hearing once).

MIL does this and you know you just gotta sit and nod politely.

No, I don't mind. Usually people are just trying to connect with you when they relay stories and I appreciate the effort to support the relationship. I just smile and nod until the conversation has run its course.

It's very rare when you have a day to day conversation filled with novel and interesting ideas that you haven't considered before or radically change your perspective on any matter. Mostly they are filled with the mundane patter of everyday life, or some repeated bit of news that you have already heard, or some bit of gossip that is completely immaterial to your life. Again, I smile and nod. I appreciate the work that is put into the relationship through these mechanisms but I don't think they are qualitatively better than a story that you have already heard before.

Mil tells us the same stories in repeat. I know not to mention certain things as it’ll start off a story again.

No but I get irrationally annoyed when I have to repeat myself because people wasn't listening 😂

My idiot ex would do this constantly. It was so annoying that I would say yeah you’ve told me this before and he would continue on. Grated my nerves so glad I don’t have to deal with that anymore 😂

@Squirrelsnut thanks for adding that. It's a different perspective that I think gets over looked x

This reminds me of how my nan used to love to tell the story of how my mom went on a school camping trip as a child and phoned home crying because she hated it - and my nan had badgered my grandad into going to fetch her, because she wasn’t having her little girl unhappy miles away from home.

My mom would always point out that not only did my grandparents not have a car - meaning my grandad would have had to somehow get to this campsite in the middle of nowhere by bus - they didn’t even have a telephone 😁She thinks she probably cried and said she’d hated it when she got home, but the rest was all in my nan’s imagination. It never stopped her telling the story again (and again…)

At least they’re true. I have an aversion to made up stories especially online. I used to frequent a now defunct parenting site and one woman told a story about ending up with a deer in her car that turned out not to be dead and she’d lifted it from - I think - Snopes.

Also a woman who was celebrated for her “hilarious” birth story that was clearly bullshit or at least so heavily embellished that it might as well have been complete bullshit.

My Mil does it, but another thing she does, which is worse, is repeat the same questions because she hasn’t bothered to listen to the answers. I feel like doing her a deal; I’ll listen to the same stories multiple times if you listen to me.

I do this and often I've genuinely forgotten who I've said what to. All those people who are annoyed by it and are confident that they aren't guilty of doing the same thing, how can you be sure? If you've forgotten, then you've forgotten and people could just be too polite to say anything (cue Twilight Zone music)😆.

But the pp who mentioned her husband telling the same tale everytime they pass a certain house. I do this too - it's almost a compulsion, I have to really rein myself in as it pisses off my OH too.

My FIL can cause actual brain damage with his waffle. Time loses all meaning.

I actually stopped speaking to a friend who did this, after 3 years i was so so fed up of the same stories and conversation topics every time we met up (where she would say word for word the same things). Any attept to change topics and she woild always manage to get back round to saying something she had said a million times before.

My mum does it. Three friends do it and I can never get a word in edgeways either

irritates the fuck out of me

Oh god DH's family are lethal for this 😩

I've heard some stories about his childhood so many times over the years, I feel like I was there!

I say "Yes, I remember you saying" but they don't care and just bang on with their uninteresting story anyway 😬

I can be repetitive, I put it down to brain fog with peri. So I now say "stop me if I've told you before" and fortunately I've got a couple of good friends who will do just that! I think you should do the same, just "oh yes, I remember you telling me before". I bet it's annoying.

I "get" it's annoying that should have said!

My husband does this - he has about 10 anecdotes that he repeats on rotation. All from before I met him and mostly involving people I've never even met. The thing is he KNOWS he does it, when he starts up on one of his old anecdotes I tell him he's doing it (and sometimes even jump in with the punchline before he finishes 😆), and yet he still persists - it's like he can't help himself, like a compulsion?!

Thankfully he does introduce new stories and is otherwise a funny, interesting and lovely person, but my god his 10 anecdotes annoy the hell out of me 😅

In my case it's FIL. Saying "yes, you've told me this story before" makes no difference whatsoever.

Oh and his best mate does it too. He knew her for years before I met him so a lot of their anecdotes are shared. I love the pair of them but when it's just the three of us together I have to resign myself to yawning in the corner while they excitedly regale each other with these stories, both of them guffawing at the hilarity of something they did ten years ago as if it's a brand new experience. It's painful haha!

Interesting.

I've had now decades of some stories and they have evolved over time to be really dramatic and full of embellishments.

OP I tend to just go with it - with some family I think it's a sign of memory failing others clearly get something from the stories and I increasingly get quiet amusement at the changes with time.