Do you get irrationally annoyed when people repeat the same stories?

[SeptemberWeGotFire]

Just some examples. I became friends with a coworker (I’ve been there a year) and she regularly tells me the story how the person before me was so quiet and seeing him bloom “she’s like a proud big sister”. Word for word it’s almost the same. Three times at least.

My sister will tell me the same stories over and over. And I sit there thinking do you not think you told me this at the time it happened seeing as I’ve known you my entire life. Like why do you think this is new information?

My manager has repeated the same example/saying to me in every meeting we have twice a week for the last 2 months. He even starts it with I know I might have said this … no shit.

Sorry I’m not a rude person, but inside I’m screaming I KNOW!!!

That is interesting and explains what my MIL gets out of repeating stories endlessly. Of course I tell her I’ve already heard the story. She will respond ‘oh, have I already told you this one?’ then carry on telling me. So it is not that she has forgotten she has told me the story, but that she is going to repeat it regardless.

She must experience such euphoria at every telling, she doesn’t give a damn she is boring everyone senseless. That ties in with her extreme selfishness in other aspects of life.

Domestic very true

That’s really interesting: didn’t know it was a recognised syndrome!

My dad was shocking for this. Told stories again and again. Luckily he had a very interesting life and career some most of them were interesting at heart so at least he wasn’t going: “Do you remember when we turned off the A42 at junction six…” But even interesting stories lose their lustre at the 14th repeat.

It’s a kind of selfishness tbh. Fair enough if you’re talking to someone you have just met but when you’re doing this with family you are basically thinking: “My right to hear my own voice is greater than your right not to be bored.”

I would bet good money that men do this more than women. Wonder if there’s data on this?

It's not so much a syndrome, but rather a term to describe it.

Whilst they're recalling their stories, their brain feels like it's reliving the memory. MILs remembering shortbread is a perfect example. Her brain will be reliving that memory and giving her loads of feel good chemicals because of it.

I don't think their brain can stop it once they've started. It wants those happy chemicals too much!

Offenders often do it with their offending stories - and mix up their stories with their friends stories. Those stories are actually quite sad as they don't always have those happy memories and so their offending behaviours take the place of happy memories.

Its worse when it's a story that you originally told them!

While I admit that with colleagues it would be a bit tiring, I think it's different with family. MIL used to retell her stories frequently but now her dementia is far enough advanced that she can't really any more. My dad as he's grown older has also started to repeat his stories much more. I suspect it won't be long until he's also diagnosed with dementia so right now I'm more than happy to listen to them as many times as he likes to tell them.

But it's never bothered me hugely even hearing friends stories again - I also enjoy rereading books and rewatching films. I wonder if it's a similar process.

It depends on who it is and the circumstances tbf

for example I rarely see my aunt as she lives in a different country, she is the only link I have with my late grandfather (her dad)
we both enjoy reminiscing and we do repeat the same stories but it is a comfort and makes us smile. Sometimes makes us laugh. He was a wise, brave and generous man and vey much missed. We also repeat his sayings. We don’t do it loads, but on occasion we do.

colleagues who do it - not so much!!

Yep. I love my mum, but she does it all the time. My aunt (her sister) sometimes does too. I feel it's when people maybe don't have much going on/much new stuff and also don't see you frequently so forgot what they've told you (in general). It's ride but now I often say oh yes you told me that.

My mum does this, telling me about her life, her childhood especially, and there are favourite memories that she repeats quite often. She's in her eighties and becoming increasingly frail. It makes her happy to recall and reminisce and it costs me nothing to listen and let her.

A friend of mine has a strange twist on this which is telling me about things I said to them many years ago, that I don't recall. They are usually rather feeble quips that I don't want to be associated with and I dread the fact he must tell other people I said these quite unfunny things.

harsh! I dint have very many stories so that one time I skipped school as a teen and got matched back by the police is the only onteresting thing that's ever happened to me.

I'm not going to tell a colleague about that other time I was sectioned so safe story it is.

interesting!

That's really interesting. It explain why MIL refuses to stop telling her stories even when we tell her we've heard them before and need to speak to her about [insert upcoming event/current plans]. When it's happy memories of her younger days I can understand wanting to relive them, but she also does it with (very exaggerated) stories of illness and tales of mundane events (eg/ The Time she Nearly Died (she didn't), The Time I Fell Over and Was OK, The Time Linda's Hoover Broke etc). I can only assume that she enjoyed the drama of these events (she does have a tendency to over react and I've often thought this could be for the attention).

We've found that it's best to just let her tell the story. If we try to stop her she just adds a sort of prequel or extra irrelevant details (eg. 'Oh, but I haven't told you that The Day Linda's Hoover Broke she'd been baking a cake. We'd had some cake the day before and [tells story of The Day We Had Cake] so Linda decided to bake one. I gave her my recipe for cherry cake, you know, the one Bill really liked, you remember Bill [tells story of The Day Bill's Mum's Friend's Neighbour Cut Her Finger]. Anyway, so it was after that when [story of The Day Linda's Hoover Broke]

My mum recounts stories she got second hand FROM ME, TO ME.

And she tells them inaccurately. And doesn't like being corrected.

There's a particularly bonkers one, where I said I remembered something from a holiday when I was six. But she doesn't remember that bit of the holiday. She's decided that it's from a much earlier holiday when I was 18 months old. Even though it's nothing like what I described.

She has since proceeded to boast about my prodigious memory for the next decade.

Except everyone else in the family remembers the holiday as I did. But nobody wants to trigger the hissy fit of contradicting her

I suffer from memory loss and have been told I can repeat myself. I honestly don't mean to.
I genuinely have no memory of saying it.

What is this about? I often think people do it on purpose - but what's the motivation?

My late Mum used to do this. It drove me bonkers! After

Don't worry OP, in a few years you'll be doing the same thing.

Don't worry OP, in a few years you'll be doing the same thing.

(😉)

Sorry, hit send too soon!
After years of putting up with it, I once politely pointed out to her that I knew this story as she'd told me before.
She stared at me for a good thirty seconds or so before starting her story from the beginning, extra slowly, with even more detail. Then called me later that evening to tell me it again 😂

@HeavenIsAHalfpipe

I am just wondering,
As you were describing your husband as often repeating stories about yourself,

Do you think this could be a way of ridicule you making fun of you by saying entertaining stories about yourself to others friends and your families, to your detriment of your emotional health then?

If he has form for this,?

Humour like that can often be a way of putting someone down belittling them to make themselve feel better , that's could be your husband way of thinking

Emotional abusive that is

It depends on the context and story for me.

If it's a family anecdote that is brought up when something relevant comes up in conversation then I find it funny.

It's annoying when relatives insist on telling you the same stories about what random people have done, and then when you point out that:

1. You've heard this story before
2. You don't even know these people

the relative insists you most definitely do remember then because one summer several years ago you visited and bumped into Ralph and Ginny at the market and it's Ginny who does pilates with relative, whilst Ralph does the local history association with relatives husband. It's their middle child that's visiting from New Zealand. before launching into another story.

Hi Op
I think your feeling about someone repeating a story,
Is over the top, on a bit of quirky side,

Have you not repeated even once same story to someone then?

Someone could be suffering early signs of dementia

I hate it too, it annoys me as much as people who talk for 20 minutes about very boring thing that happened, instead of getting straight to the point.

I know everyone does it sometimes, but you’re right OP, some people do this all the time, and I find it infuriating too! Especially when you had a chat about the story/discussed certain elements of it with them the first few times, and then they tell you as if they’ve never mentioned it before, it’s like they just don’t remember that conversation- like you could have been anyone they were chatting to.

Everybody does it OP (including you) whather they think they do or not.

I say everybody does it OP (including you) whether they think they do or not