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Original poster

Do you get irrationally annoyed when people repeat the same stories?

129 replies

SeptemberWeGotFire · 12/03/2023 21:44

Just some examples. I became friends with a coworker (I’ve been there a year) and she regularly tells me the story how the person before me was so quiet and seeing him bloom “she’s like a proud big sister”. Word for word it’s almost the same. Three times at least.

My sister will tell me the same stories over and over. And I sit there thinking do you not think you told me this at the time it happened seeing as I’ve known you my entire life. Like why do you think this is new information?

My manager has repeated the same example/saying to me in every meeting we have twice a week for the last 2 months. He even starts it with I know I might have said this … no shit.

Sorry I’m not a rude person, but inside I’m screaming I KNOW!!!

OP posts:
eirlaw · 13/03/2023 12:26

@Whichwhatnow there a group of friends who knew DH about 8 months before me - it's always those 8 month stories that come up in get togethers not the 20 + years since - I find it odd.

Sparkletastic · 13/03/2023 12:26

ILs and DH do this. I interrupt with a bright 'Yes you've told me before. How funny / sad / amazing.' Or I let them bore one another senseless and wander off to go on Mumsnet.

MoltenLasagne · 13/03/2023 12:37

DH's family do this but with a "Do you remember the time when...?"

It's like when they get together there are certain anecdotes they need to repeat. I find it quite endearing because they're all quite nice stories and if I have to hear about the time they got a glass of milk because they ordered a "latte" in Italy for the 20th time it's no skin off my nose. Mind you the anecdotes are at least short and vaguely entertaining.

Scyla · 13/03/2023 12:42

I had an old friend that would do this and in the end I just stopped returning their calls.

I was going through a difficult divorce and would start to talk about something tricky I needed to share with a friend and he would butt in with an anecdote. This anecdote was about how hard done by a man he knew of was by a wife leaving him and him having to support his kids and how terrible this was. It wasn't even someone he knew, just a friend of a friend of a friend.

Literally the story he picked to interrupt me with when I was in need of sympathy was a tale of how horrible women are when divorcing men.

After a couple too many times when I had to leave the room, that was it. Never spoke to him again. I don't think he understood how shitty his anecdote was. It was simply a divorce anecdote and therefore could be wedged in on repeat any time I mentioned my own.

MintJulia · 13/03/2023 12:51

Apart from your boss, just say 'you've already told me this story' and change the subject. No need to get annoyed, just lead the conversation elsewhere.

LolaSmiles · 13/03/2023 12:56

I do this and often I've genuinely forgotten who I've said what to. All those people who are annoyed by it and are confident that they aren't guilty of doing the same thing, how can you be sure? If you've forgotten, then you've forgotten and people could just be too polite to say anything (cue Twilight Zone music)😆
I think we probably all have times we've forgotten who we've told a story too, but only some people come to mind if you think of serial story-tellers.

One of my former colleagues had a range of health and ailment related stories and it drove me up the wall hearing about her knees, her finger, the cold she had at the weekend, then someone might mention they pulled a muscle at a gym that morning and within 10 seconds Wendy had the story about her knees again.

eirlaw · 13/03/2023 12:57

Apart from your boss, just say 'you've already told me this story' and change the subject. No need to get annoyed, just lead the conversation elsewhere.

With family I've found that this either gets ignore or causes huge upset which goes on longer than the story - It's worth a try but often best to let story play out and not react and change subject immediately.

Wiennetta · 13/03/2023 13:02

One of my DH’s friends is like this. They went to school together and it feels for the friend he peaked at school and life hasn’t improved since then. He’s a lovely guy but 50% of the chat is stories/anecdotes from school. Which was almost 30 years ago for them now.

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 13/03/2023 13:08

Yes, very tedious.

Not quite the same but similar because I have to endure with gritted teeth the following on countless occasions:

MIL: Did you watch Escape to the Chateau?
Me: No. I have never watched it. It doesn't appeal to me really.
MIL: Proceeds to talk at me for 5 minutes about said program I've told her (countless times) that I've never watched and that doesn't appeal to me...oh but I MUST know the ins/outs of this program anyway....

Last time it happened (probably 10th time), DH just said Mum, how many times? WE DON'T WATCH IT!!! so therefore don't want to hear about it!! She stopped talking about it now.

or

MIL: did you watch XYZ?
Me: YES! loved it; wasn't it good?
MIL: oh it was great...and then takes 10 minutes to tell me exactly what happened in the episode, almost word for word as if I hadn't watched it. Fuck sake!

Tedious!

Whereland · 13/03/2023 13:11

Isn't euphoric recall more about only remember the past in a positive light and ignoring and negatives? Not telling the same stories over and over again?

barbrahunter · 13/03/2023 13:11

My mum used to do this all the time, the same stories over and over about how wonderful my golden child brother was/is. Funnily enough, there were no stories about me. And, as alluded to above, it is impossible to derail. I don't suppose she could help it, but it stopped me ever feeling close to her.

JudgeRudy · 13/03/2023 13:28

I have a few favourite 'stories' which I've repeated a few times but it's generally to a new 'audience'. I'd like to think they are pretty amusing and I'm offen asked to "tell Brian about the sanitary towel interview/ the headstand in the broom cupboard/Richard Whitely" and I do but I'm also guilty of telling 1 new person and 4 who've heard it before.
I worked with a colleague who used to do a mini intro to her thoughts in meetings always starting "Now I think I need to say I have ADHD and autism so....."
One day I just said "You have ADHD and autism? Really, you never said".
I also worked alongside a forklift driver who used to bang on about Army life. We used to tease him and say "When I was in Nam".

I think on the whole people do know they've said it but think it's relevant to the conversation. If it's short live with it. If it's getting to be annoying ask 'why are you telling me this', if they start to explain say 'no, why are you telling me again'.

Maybe ask them if they can remember what you said the last time they told you.

I think everyone does it. Some with lengthy stories, some with short phrases or references.

ReadtheReviews · 13/03/2023 13:31

Hahaha! I used to car share with someone and I told him about Tim Curry having a stroke three times in a term. We got quite hysterical with giggles about it.
Our elderly neighbour constantly tells us the same stories but we dont really mind, it gets quite amusing. We pretend we havent heard them before.
The one that does grate is my dp. He brings up at the most tenuous link, the fact his mother was a childminder and therefore he knows all about xyz to do with children/she knew everything about raising children. I dont mention it to him as she's no longer alive but we all wince when he does it. It's such an odd one to keep wheeling out.

JudgeRudy · 13/03/2023 13:32

overjean · 12/03/2023 22:12

Both of my parents inlaw do this all the time about their precious son (my husband). They seem to remember every morsel he's ever eaten, every item of clothing he's ever worn and everything he's ever said or done. I don't care that he asked for a second piece of shortbread in a cafe in Watford in 1989 because i already know that he wasn't allowed any more and then he knocked over his milk!!

Gosh @overjean that's a thriller. You've left me on such a cliff hanger. How large was the glass? Did it go everywhere? Was mum mortified? I do hope there's a series 2

Allgoodthings1 · 13/03/2023 13:35

Sometimes I will say ‘oh yeah I think you said that’ other times I find myself having to do fake reactions knowing what’s coming at the end 🤦🏼‍♀️ My in-laws go a lot of holidays and they’re the worst for it. I can actually feel certain stories coming when a topic arises and just sit waiting on it 🙈

ToughOleBird · 13/03/2023 13:35

Some people just like to reminisce, or have genuinely forgotten, whilst others have nothing to tell apart from the same old shit. I tell them they told me. A neighbour tells the same 6 stories, & adds a few of mine into the mix.

LemonLimeWater · 13/03/2023 13:39

My inlaws do it constantly. I often finish the stories for them. Drives me bonkers!

JudgeRudy · 13/03/2023 13:40

BashfulClam · 13/03/2023 10:48

Mil tells us the same stories in repeat. I know not to mention certain things as it’ll start off a story again.

@BashfulClam be honest, have you ever been in a group where someone has deliberately or inadvertently used a trigger word and you've all tittered as MIL says "Lamb chops! Don't talk to me about lamb....before I met your dad l was dating Farmer Jones......... 4 sheep and a ram...and now we call him Lamb Chops!"
You encourage it sometimes don't you...😉

Seriously79 · 13/03/2023 13:42

I hate it when people tell story's and have to get the details correct ' last Thursday, no wait, was it Thursday? It must of been because Wednesday blah blah, yes Thursday, at about 2pm, no, sorry, it was 2.05pm'

I don't need all the details, just tell me 'one day last week'

LolaSmiles · 13/03/2023 13:52

I hate it when people tell story's and have to get the details correct ' last Thursday, no wait, was it Thursday? It must of been because Wednesday blah blah, yes Thursday, at about 2pm, no, sorry, it was 2.05pm'

It's always the insignificant details that they have to verbalise their thought process over as well.

BashfulClam · 13/03/2023 13:59

No we don’t encourage it as it’s actually really dull like most of her stories. Mention the wind is strong and she’ll tell you about that day she opened the car door and the wind pulled it, she was just lucky a car wasn’t next them, fil wasn’t happy but what could she do….I have heard this story in the last 17 years at least 87 times. Most of the time I can’t converse with her anyway as she talks about the past mostly and I have no idea about who anyone is and she keeps saying to my husband‘Remember?’ I just zone out and nod at appropriate times.

HistoryOrHistrionics · 13/03/2023 14:05

You've been talking to my grandma?

In her case, I see listening to them and being interested (again!) as my gift to her Grin

barbrahunter · 13/03/2023 14:19

I think that constantly repeating events from the past also stop people engaging in the present and being interested in others. It is essentially solipsistic and it prevents any meaningful interactions.

Jazzy21 · 13/03/2023 14:35

My grandmother does this, but she has Alzheimer’s disease. I am patient with her, but if someone who wasn’t ill did this, who I had to see alot of, it would drive me completely nuts!

TheFormidableMrsC · 13/03/2023 14:56

Jazzy21 · 13/03/2023 14:35

My grandmother does this, but she has Alzheimer’s disease. I am patient with her, but if someone who wasn’t ill did this, who I had to see alot of, it would drive me completely nuts!

My Dad also has this awful illness and is so repetitive. Particularly if he's fixated on something. I hear the same stories on repeat, minutes apart. Like you I'm patient as he can't help it. It's hard work though.

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