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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking staff to rinse toddler plate

327 replies

leggingsandasweatshirt · 12/03/2023 18:21

I am extremely hormonal so potentially being unreasonable, but interested to see if others think this is a reasonable request or if I am over stepping:

We were out for lunch today and I brought a suction plate for DS (almost 2) because he is likely to launch a regular plate. When we'd finished I realised I'd run out of nappy bags so didn't have anything to put the dirty plate in inside my bag.

I explained this to the waitress and apologised for being a pain and asked if it was possible for someone to give it a quick rinse so I could put it in my bag without covering everything in gravy.

She looked at me like I'd just shit on the table and responded she was trying to clear the plates. I was mortified that I had clearly offended her and said it didn't matter. My step mum then suggested I rinse the plate in the sink in the toilet which I hadn't thought of, so I then went and did that.

I have asked restaurants to do this on occasion before - am I being an entitled wanker or is this a reasonable request?!

OP posts:
Pandajane · 16/03/2023 09:08

Totally reasonable request - I worked as a waitress for years and would not have been remotely offended by that!

Joshuasmummy18 · 16/03/2023 09:09

Because that's what toddlers do!

Joshuasmummy18 · 16/03/2023 09:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Because that's what's toddlers do sometimes!

Daffodilfrog · 16/03/2023 09:16

I wouldn’t have thought to ask this - most waitresses I see look pretty frazzled to be honest and I wouldn’t have added to that .

i would have just wet wiped it

SqueakyRadish · 16/03/2023 09:25

I've worked several jobs in catering/waiting and I wouldn't have thought twice about rinsing a plate for you, and drying it

Lozois99 · 16/03/2023 09:52

Sometimes you have to ask waiting staff for a favour, it's totally reasonable, as long as you were polite. She was being a dick

Wheresthebeach · 16/03/2023 09:59

Completely reasonable to ask, if it wasn't an option she should have responded politely. Not reasonable for her to be rude.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 16/03/2023 10:16

It depends how busy she was. I wouldn't have asked if she was busy.

Trickedbyadoughnut · 16/03/2023 10:23

You asked politely and explained. I don't think it's unreasonble to ask in that situation, although if she was very busy, I don't think it's unreasonable to refuse. Just one of those things!

Hellybelly84 · 16/03/2023 10:24

YANBU - Totally fine request, would have taken 2 seconds for the waitress to do and its a very small request compared to other requests they must get. Ive never had a problem with requesting things like hot water to warm up a bottle etc. If you cant do a small request for a customer (which was asked very politely), dont work in the hospitality industry.

begoneday · 16/03/2023 11:04

Have you ever worked in hospitality? If you had , you would understand her reaction. She was probably rushed off her feet and didn’t have time to remind her face to look pleased at the prospect of doing your personal washing up on top of her actual job.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 16/03/2023 11:04

It's a bit entitled.

Was there other mess on or around the table, from the toddler, too?

Maybe it's not a suitable venue for a child in the first place, and she was exasperated.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 16/03/2023 11:10

gogohmm · 12/03/2023 18:59

The request sounds reasonable except 1. The waiter was probably surprised as it's not something I would think happens often and 2. They probably can't take items into the kitchen from outside for hygiene reasons. In the future I would simply wipe in down with a napkin

Exactly. There are hygiene protocols.

As a patron i would gag at finding the loo sink soiled with gravy and mash. I hope it was thoroughly rinsed down.

LocSeeTan · 16/03/2023 11:21

I work in a commercial kitchen. I know for certain that we are unable to reheat food from outside of our kitchen because of the risk of cross contamination.
This is basis Food Standards/ Environmental Health requirement.
Some restaurants will have bottle warmers or microwaves situated in the dining area for this reason.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 16/03/2023 11:27

Sceptre86 · 12/03/2023 19:55

Do you not carry wipes? I'd have just used those. I wouldn't think of asking them to rinse it for me.

And then where do the disgusting wipes end up??

Adelant · 16/03/2023 11:46

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 16/03/2023 11:27

And then where do the disgusting wipes end up??

Show quote history

In the bin surely

Maverickess · 16/03/2023 11:49

LocSeeTan · 16/03/2023 11:21

I work in a commercial kitchen. I know for certain that we are unable to reheat food from outside of our kitchen because of the risk of cross contamination.
This is basis Food Standards/ Environmental Health requirement.
Some restaurants will have bottle warmers or microwaves situated in the dining area for this reason.

Yes, we provide a container of hot water from the bar for this as it can't 'just' go in the kitchen.

Unfortunately there are things that customer service just should not override and the strict hygiene of a commercial kitchen is one of them, and people will bitch and moan about that, but also bitch and moan when rules are broken and be all sanctimonious about the rules then and how they should be followed to the letter, and would likely insist that they would understand if somewhere refused to do something that is seemingly good customer service and a 2 minute favour, but in reality most won't, they'll just bitch and moan - and slap it all over the internet.

Sceptre86 · 16/03/2023 12:06

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune I'd put them in the bin as most people would surely?

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 16/03/2023 12:13

Sceptre86 · 16/03/2023 12:06

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune I'd put them in the bin as most people would surely?

What bin? Assuming it was a nice restaurant, they don't have bins stationed among dining tables.

My point was don't leave gaggy wipes for the servers, either.

Adelant · 16/03/2023 12:17

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 16/03/2023 12:13

What bin? Assuming it was a nice restaurant, they don't have bins stationed among dining tables.

My point was don't leave gaggy wipes for the servers, either.

Show quote history

The toilets will have a bin.

Lexhum · 16/03/2023 12:53

It's not unreasonable for you to ask; if not unreasonable for the waitress to decline. It is unreasonable for anyone to treat people rudely or disrespectfully.... Only you and the waitress know if either of you are guilty of that.

Imisssleep2 · 16/03/2023 18:18

As a former waitress i cant say as i was ever asked to do this, and if you had loaded it high with babywipes and half eaten food i wouldnt be too impressed at picking it all out to clean it, even with regular plates it was my pet hate to have baby jars, wipes, wipe packets, etc left with food everywhere including floor after a group with young children came in. However if the plate wasnt in this condition i would have happily washed it quickly to be accommodating and helpful in hope it might be rewarded with a nice tip. Nothing worse when you go above and beyond for a table and they leave nothing or worse a few pennies. Wages for younger generation at minimum wage arent all that, used to depend on my tips

Usernamenotav · 16/03/2023 19:49

Not totally unreasonable but not something I'd have asked. I always just use a baby wipe and clean it when I'm home

ididntwanttodoit · 16/03/2023 20:10

very unreasonable. either wipe or wrap it ing a napkin. Our rinse it yourself in the toilet.

Lynjan3 · 17/03/2023 00:04

I've worked in a restaurant before and no matter what, it's a simple request. As it's your own plate, if a server says no, then fair enough but at the same time, it really would not have set the server back to accommodate that simple request.

Since I've had kids I realise that simple things are easily forgotten. So glad I've always been the sort of person that will do what I can to accommodate others.

I'm actually shocked at some of the replies here, a quick rinse down in a sink, regardless of the kitchen set up won't delay you by much and not every customer will be bringing their own plates...not even every customer with a kid....I would just appreciate that someone has accounted for the toddler stage ( those of us without the "perfect kids" who need to judge).

Honestly I can understand a server saying no depending on how busy they are but simply asking does not make you entitled or anything else. Asking something is ok aslong as you accept the response given.