Asking staff to rinse toddler plate

[leggingsandasweatshirt]

I am extremely hormonal so potentially being unreasonable, but interested to see if others think this is a reasonable request or if I am over stepping:

We were out for lunch today and I brought a suction plate for DS (almost 2) because he is likely to launch a regular plate. When we'd finished I realised I'd run out of nappy bags so didn't have anything to put the dirty plate in inside my bag.

I explained this to the waitress and apologised for being a pain and asked if it was possible for someone to give it a quick rinse so I could put it in my bag without covering everything in gravy.

She looked at me like I'd just shit on the table and responded she was trying to clear the plates. I was mortified that I had clearly offended her and said it didn't matter. My step mum then suggested I rinse the plate in the sink in the toilet which I hadn't thought of, so I then went and did that.

I have asked restaurants to do this on occasion before - am I being an entitled wanker or is this a reasonable request?!

Depends on many things...it may not be within her remit to insist the person who's job is washing dishes, washes this dish before the others in the pile...it really depends on the establishment and the 'culture' for want of a better word. People are often now just cogs in a machine...staff and customers

Reasonable request. But to be honest I'd just have wiped it over with a baby wipe 🤣

Bit of a weird ask, but I can't see why the waitress would be arsey about it.
But, like others have said, maybe it was just the final straw, at the end of a long shift, of customers making bizarre, annoying (to the waitress) requests.

@Whatdayisitalexa you're writing loads of random comments that aren't related to anything I've said in any way but still tagging me...

She had her arms full collecting plates and delivering them to the designated area as is her job, she wasn't expecting to be asked to wash up a random item because the customer was feeling hormonal and had forgotten her duty as a mum to plan ahead...her facial expressions didn't meet that particur Mums approval so she felt she would get the answer by posting on Mumsnet looking for solidarity..bad move lol

I often see people arguing that service charges / tipping should not be expected and I wonder if those same people expect waiting staff to wash their child’s plate. Hideous behaviour.

The waitress also said she was clearing plates at the time..so ergo was busy and had her hands full..thinking up the most polite way to say no whilst keeping the correct facial expression is a skill indeed

I'm quite often asked to do things while I'm doing something else and it's pretty obvious that my hands are full, and I will say that I'll finish what I'm doing first and then do whatever else is asked of me so I'm not accused of ignoring requests, I'm quite often looked at as if I've shat on the table by the customers for not growing an extra set of arms and doing what is asked immediately.
It's like when you arrive at a table with 3 plates and there's more food, sides or drinks to come and they ask where the rest is "Oh it's in my pocket, hang on.....!" I'm not a flaming octopus and unfortunately only having two hands means I can only carry 3 plates at a time - sorry for the inconvenience of being human and all!

You're doing a great job, against the odds, be careful you don't slip on anything unexpected on the floor though.. it'll be your fault afterall 🙈😘

I personally don't agree with routine tipping, we have a minimum wage in the uk afterall, if someone has gone above and beyond and washed your toddler's plate on their break...maybe? In retail it's about delivering the key service indicators while avoiding complaints..that's enough of a juggle especially when you're short staffed! There's always going to be the customer who expects much more than is on offer and will complain..that's where managers come in to decide if the staff member was lacking

Because you tagged 'quoted' me a la Mumsnet..and I'm answering not ignoring.. different platforms different rules...same as life

I think you were both being a bit U tbh. But I'm amazed you spent £9 on a kid's roast meal for a child under 2! 😆

6 of one and half a dozen on the other is what we used to say...people expect perfection these days without having an understanding of real life! It's no wonder our hospitality industry are struggling to get staff..they are paid minimum wage but expected to act perfectly irrespective of the extra demands of some customers and without comprehensive training as to how to keep a straight face!

This is just stupid. Of course it isn't out of the question for you to ask the waitress to give it a rinse. FFS it's not unreasonable at all. What's wrong with the lot of you giving the OP a hard time? Any reasonable person would have asked in the first place.

I'm guessing you haven't read the thread where many waiting staff have explained how very difficult it is.

And I'll ask you the sans question I asked this morning: if you turned up at your desk and were asked to clean the kitchen, would you do it or would you say that it's not your job? Why is a waitress's job any different?

Many feel the opposite, depends how reasonable the admitted 'hormonal' op was towards the waitress also..usually hormonal is used as an excuse for bad behaviour against your usual better judgement..waitresses also have hormones so maybe struggling to keep a positive face...just saying!

The clue is in the word ‘toddler.’ Maybe yours didn’t though. That’s amazing if so! Congratulations! You could write a parenting book that will save the world millions on suction plates. Oh yes, suction plates… why might they exist? Could it be…?

I prob would have wiped with a nappy wipe but its Ok to ask

Dear Clymene and Alexa

Where is 'hormonal' mentioned?

I have children who have worked in the hospitality business. They are nice, normal, healthy, kind, generous people who wouldn't balk at the idea of helping out another human being. I actually think that that's what this boils down to - whether a waitress or otherwise (and thanks, I wouldn't dream of commenting on a topic that I was ignorant about), to do something as simple as sticking a toddlers plate under a tap of running water is doing a very, very small act of good will and kindness. Don't give me this bollox of it being beyond the realms, too much trouble etc, if a waitress can't do this small thing then they should find another job where they don't have the good fortune to work with people. What's happened to human decency?

Oh! Meant to add. There is the obvious advantage to waiting staff being helpful to customers. Do I need to spell it out??!

Where is 'hormonal' mentioned?

It's literally the fourth word of the OPs post ...

And as a former waitress, my job during a busy Sunday lunch rush was to take orders, deliver food and clear the table. My job was not to take the customers property and deal with it just because they asked, especially with something like a plastic plate that could be damaged if it was put in a commercial pot wash and we would be liable especially as we would have to take it out of the customers eyesight to deal with it - they could make any kind of claim that we caused damage whilst it was out of their sight and we would have very little recourse.

If it was quiet or I wasn't busy then I might be willing to ask question to the pot wash but if it's busy, I'm presented with the plate whilst I clearly have my hands full and I have half a dozen other tables waiting for service then I'm going to say no. Ideally that "no" will be presented with the utmost courtesy and politeness but if I'm put on the spot, need to get away asap to do other duties, am stopped while trying to leave with a heavy pile of plates or am asked with a clear expectation I will say yes then I may not be as polite as I could be.

There is the obvious advantage to waiting staff being helpful to customers. Do I need to spell it out??!

I'm assuming you're talking about the expectation of a tip ... No waiting staff in the UK is ever expecting a tip, unlike the USA, so assuming that staff will jump when you click your fingers is not going to work in your favour.

You are quite right, the OP did use that word, and somewhat apologetically at that. Bizarre.

We must live in a different universe. I wouldn't dream of leaving a restaurant without leaving a tip, unless the service was terrible, and again, I have children who sometimes used to make more in tips than salary.

And your job description? Going beyond it will get you way way further. I recommend it.

Hormonal is mentioned in the first line of the OP.

And I don't know what happened to common human decency, it only seems to work one way in customer service.

The waitress had her arms full when OP asked for something that is out of the normal scope of the deal when at a restaurant, and is because OP had forgotten to bring something to deal with the plate and made it the waitresses issue instead, and then OP didn't like the way the waitress arranged the features on her own face at the point she asked and the waitress responded with something the OP could actually see for herself - that she was trying to clear the plates.

OP is not the only customer that the waitress needs to 'keep happy' you'd usually collect an order on returning to the kitchen with dirty plates for another table - messing about with the plate is delaying the next customers food and the food quality reduces with every moment it's on the pass, as well as taking up space that the chefs need to plate the next table after that. But the waitress gets to deal with the fall out from that so doesn't matter does it?

And as has been explained umpteen times, commercial kitchens are set up to meet hygiene standards and speed of service, waiting staff aren't allowed in pot wash where I work and only have access to hand wash sinks where plates aren't allowed, so it may well not be the two seconds job people are assuming.

Still, someone got to be all sad and aggrieved about getting poor customer service, it seems to be fashionable or something at the moment to be a 'victim' of poor customer service and behave like it's a traumatic and life changing experience.

I use to ask if people needed kids cutlery/bowls cleaned, if you're any good at your job (which is serving people) you would just know to do that. I hate having to ask! I don't think you were wrong too.

Next time you go into work, I hope you'll be cleaning the loos then. I'm sure it will get you much further up the career ladder.

Incidentally, I have never, not once, referred to the OP's hormones. She did, I didn't.

And I wouldn't dream of leaving a restaurant without leaving a tip. But I also wouldn't expect that entitled me to ask my waitress to do my washing up either.