Asking staff to rinse toddler plate

[leggingsandasweatshirt]

I am extremely hormonal so potentially being unreasonable, but interested to see if others think this is a reasonable request or if I am over stepping:

We were out for lunch today and I brought a suction plate for DS (almost 2) because he is likely to launch a regular plate. When we'd finished I realised I'd run out of nappy bags so didn't have anything to put the dirty plate in inside my bag.

I explained this to the waitress and apologised for being a pain and asked if it was possible for someone to give it a quick rinse so I could put it in my bag without covering everything in gravy.

She looked at me like I'd just shit on the table and responded she was trying to clear the plates. I was mortified that I had clearly offended her and said it didn't matter. My step mum then suggested I rinse the plate in the sink in the toilet which I hadn't thought of, so I then went and did that.

I have asked restaurants to do this on occasion before - am I being an entitled wanker or is this a reasonable request?!

Am 🤣 at all the posters who think they have the moral high ground because their toddlers didn't throw anything.

It's actually a stage of childhood development for them to become aware of and experiment with gravity... hence the repeatedly throwing of things from their chairs.

I've never done the waitress side, but I've done pot wash a lot. Depending on the restaurant set up, it could be a pain in the arse and defs not a 2sec job as others have explaibed. For future best to just bring a small zip lock and if it's really messy a quick rinse in toilets or wet wipes.

It’s not the case that they didn’t ever throw anything, rather that they weren’t given the opportunity to throw anything when eating out. Which is why usually one parent ends up eating a lukewarm dinner rather than a hot one. FWIW I used a suction plate at home but it was a waste of money as my DD pulled it off her highchair tray anyway. Finally as a user reprimanded me for having an opinion on the type of plate and not what the OPs question was about, you use a baby wipe or a serviette and wipe the plate, I wouldn’t have even considered asking (but how do I know if I wouldn’t take my own plate) they’re a waitress not the pot washer.

that poster definitely does not have any children! clueless about all of it.

completely unnecessary though, why would one person eat a lukewarm dinner when you can use a suction plate and all eat a hot meal together? Loads of people use suction plates with young children and nobody uses them by age 3 generally, unless the child has additional needs. They definitely do work and the child still learns. Respectfully, it seems like you’re making life hard for yourself.

So your moaning as she wouldn't do what you could and infact did do yourself.

Joys of parenthood. How many times have parents made a hot drink that has gone cold or found themselves putting a cold meal in the microwave because their child needed non plate related attention. Maybe suction plates have advanced in the last 20 years but in the early 2000s when I last used one it wasn’t great unless I was using it incorrectly or I birthed particularly strong children. If they’re better now then that’s fantastic but I never took my own plate and like I’ve already said, each to their own.

Don’t think it wad an unreasonable request - if there was no “quick rinse” option following hygiene procedures and she was really under pressure time wise then I would think she could have given you napkins to wipe it and a plastic bag to put it in.

Also for everyone suggesting you should have just popped to the public restaurant toilets and rinsed it off under the sink there - really? Would any of you as an adult happily give you own eating utensils a quick rinse in a public bathroom? I mean sure you’d wash it properly at home but still 🤮 🤮

If you think rinsing a plate under the tap in a public toilet, which is then going to be washed properly at home, is unhygienic, how do you feel about washing your your hands in the restaurant toilets?

YANBU but neither is she. Some friendlier and less overloaded waitstaff might oblige. Equally, especially if she's busy and has seen a lot of cheeky customers, she might be thinking you're taking the piss. Customers have lots of ridiculous requests – Michelin taste on a Nando's budget, I used to call it – and all these requests add up to weigh on waitstaff's mental and actual workload.

Also I'm sure this has been pointed out before, but in restaurants I've worked in, waitresses don't do the dishes, and they'll have to go beg the dishwashing people for a favour depending on how obliging the dishwashing people are. Plus restaurants I worked in did "mass washing" with a power spray thing, or used a dishwasher, so hand-washing would be disruptive or not possible.

I don’t use public restrooms so it’s not an issue 😂

I generally don't mind rinsing off baby plates and cutlery for customers, but sometimes when it's busy I might not have the time and if she was stressed it might have come across a bit curt. I don't think it's entitled to ask though - the woman who allowed her child drop his food on the floor piece by piece, and let her older one tread it in to floor, then looked down her nose at me and told me to clean the floor was promptly handed the dustpan and broom.

I think your waitress was having a bad day, most of us are happy to help when we can.

Gosh, that sounds very life limiting. Does that mean you don't go out for day trips or evenings out or go on holidays? I couldn't imagine living a life as restricted as that.

I do think you were being unreasonable ... Not establishments plate to wash; however worth an ask! Simple take the plate to the toilet, rinse and baby wipe it and put it in your toddler's bag/your bag.

Also for everyone suggesting you should have just popped to the public restaurant toilets and rinsed it off under the sink there - really? Would any of you as an adult happily give you own eating utensils a quick rinse in a public bathroom? I mean sure you’d wash it properly at home but still

I certainly would.

When you turn that tap, regardless of where it is located, what comes out is water from massive pipes under the ground, water that has in many cases been used multiple times before, filtered, refiltered, etc.

There is nothing special or pristine about the pipes that lead to and through your house, or the water that flows through them.

I'm a waitress and if you had said that to me I would have washed and dried it and returned it with a smile.

I'd rather be washing that plate than cleaning up the food off the floor and people do far worse.... like bring in their dirty 'keep' cups and expecting you to either wash it (usually during a rush) or to just make the next coffee in it after they have been drinking out of it.

Not unreasonable at all, would have took her a minute.
I think it was the reaction that sounded unreasonable!

It sounds like you were trying to make it easier for everyone by bringing the suction plate and so it seems a reasonable ask, but ok fair enough in that restaurant it doesn’t fit their work. When my DC were tiny I have been in places where they even offered to warm up baby purée I had brought with me because they were trying to make the adult customers comfortable! But I guess that it just depends on a mix of things like busyness, stress, whether they know small children, whether they want a reputation for child-friendliness (some places actively don’t and fair enough, their business their choice).

As others have said, it’s not the waiter’s job to wash dishes, they wouldn’t have access to the facilities anyway, and it would be very disruptive to the lunch service . It’s a bit like if you had asked them to go and slice up an apple you had brought for dessert: a 2 minute job in your own kitchen, but not feasible in a restaurant kitchen.

Next time use a napkin or wet wipe (and then put the dirty wipes in a nappy bag - it’s not your waiters job to clean them up either).

Probably some ridiculous rule about why they can't do it. Some places have odd rules.
I'd have just wiped it over myself but I also would have rinsed it for you when I used to be in that job (unless there was a ridiculous rule why I couldn't). Waitress sounds unnecessary rude though m

I don't think you were being unreasonable necessarily but personally this has never occurred to me to ask. I don't tend to take plates out for my young ones but I do always take their own cutlery. I just wipe them with tissues and/or baby wipes afterwards and stick it back in the changing bag. Don't really need to put them in a nappy sack if you've wiped it well. Then wash properly once home.

I wouldn’t have asked personally but I don’t think YWBU.
As long as you asked politely, and judging from your posting style, you don’t seem entitled or rude at all so I’m sure you did.

Perhaps ask for extra napkins next time. This way you can do a wipe down and wrap the plate.

And?

I hardly think asking someone to rinse a toddler's plate is a massive issue. I would have done it if I was the waitress. Not like she was asking her to wash up all the pots she brought from home is it? Takes no longer than asking for hot water to heat babies bottle up.