Asking staff to rinse toddler plate

[leggingsandasweatshirt]

I am extremely hormonal so potentially being unreasonable, but interested to see if others think this is a reasonable request or if I am over stepping:

We were out for lunch today and I brought a suction plate for DS (almost 2) because he is likely to launch a regular plate. When we'd finished I realised I'd run out of nappy bags so didn't have anything to put the dirty plate in inside my bag.

I explained this to the waitress and apologised for being a pain and asked if it was possible for someone to give it a quick rinse so I could put it in my bag without covering everything in gravy.

She looked at me like I'd just shit on the table and responded she was trying to clear the plates. I was mortified that I had clearly offended her and said it didn't matter. My step mum then suggested I rinse the plate in the sink in the toilet which I hadn't thought of, so I then went and did that.

I have asked restaurants to do this on occasion before - am I being an entitled wanker or is this a reasonable request?!

i shouldnt think it was as easy as it sounds, perhaps owing to the set up, perhaps she didnt go into thekitchen normally.

As a customer, I wouldn't have asked. But as a waitress, I would've done it if asked but only out of politeness.

My dd threw food big time and without warning. She’d take something, look at it, throw it. Then take the next bit of the same stuff and eat it. No warning. Two thirds on the floor, one third eaten. She was almost a year old when it started so I couldn’t reason with her. She’s always been very stubborn. Takes after her dad.

We went on holiday and had to travel around with a plastic mat for the floor it was that bad. We didn’t put plates in front of her when dd was going through that phase. I either fed her from a bowl or put the food directly on the high chair. The phase didn’t last long.

I think you were totally unreasonable to ask. You should have rinsed it in the toilet or wiped it with wipes or tissues.

Ex waiting staff - I wouldn’t have given it a seconds thought. Rather do that than clean off bits of food in the loo sink. And even if she was pissed off she shouldn’t have shown it. It’s the waiting staff’s job to make you feel good about your visit.

Entitled wanker imo 🤷‍♀️

From your OP it wasn’t a ‘one off’ request - I have asked restaurants to do this on occasion before - meaning either you expect it to be washed, or you are not prepared enough with your own bag to take the dirty plate home.

You had to get the plate from your cupboard and put it in your bag, surely it’s natural at the same time to also pick up a bag to bring the plate home in?

If you had no happy bags left (which again, surely you knew you’d used the last one), how were you going to dispose of a wet/dirty nappy?

Prepare better in future … and teach your almost 2 year old not to throw plates 😉

My my DS was much younger I recall restaurants happily taking the plate and washing it, in some cases offering to do this without me asking. However I generally carried a plastic bag, baby wipes and kitchen towel to deal with a messy plate when out so wasnt reliant on the restaurant. In a big, busy restaurant I would be worried as to whether I would get the plate back! I think her response sounds quite arsy and she could have said ‘we cant wash toddler plates but you are welcome to use the bathroom sink’ or just “l’m sorry but we cant do that but I can give you some paper serviettes to wipe it” or something like that! The restaurant isnt being very baby/toddler friendly if they havent got any suggested solution for how you deal with a messy toddler plate.

Really! Until mine were about 5 I always asked for a small empty plate for them and divided our meal with them. When they got older they would have to choose the same meal as each other and I'd buy one portion and divide it ( dds close in age). I've never had a problem with doing that.

Why not rinse it in the loo in the first place? I think it's cheeky to be honest, creating extra faff for someone who is already dashing about for their lowly wage.

OP said she just didn't think to do it

Clymene

It's not kind to take your own crockery to a restaurant and expect the staff to wash it up for you

Funny how kindness is such a one way street

Crockery?!! Its a little plastic toddler plate not a full set of Cross & Blackwell ffs 🙄

I wouldn't have asked. I've done those jobs myself and I know how hectic it can be.

Plus there's a clear boundary in a commercial setting which is serving food on plates from the restaurant kitchen and taking them to and from the kitchen, not getting involved in the washing of them.

Those working in the kitchen are washing hundreds of dishes very quickly and adding customer's private dish is just odd. It's like throwing your own clothes into a hotel sheet service and expecting them back.

Of course you can ask, but it's a bit clueless and entitled of you, and outside of the waitress's job description entirely. Waitressing is a fairly thankless job and you were disrespectful and a bit haughty by asking for that - you could have simply washed it in the bathroom. So in my opinion that's what she was reacting to - and she was probably having a long day, maybe she had an exam the next day or lots of university work on. You can ask for a bit more than you're entitled to but that doesn't mean people have to give it to you.

Exactly! The OP admits to be overly hormonal too...maybe she is exaggerating the 'look like I'd taken a shit on the table'...that's just her interpretation... The waitress also said she was clearing plates at the time..so ergo was busy and had her hands full..thinking up the most polite way to say no whilst keeping the correct facial expression is a skill indeed, maybe this girl hadn't been to college to learn how to be a waitress, or maybe it was her first week. Taking a toddler who is prone to throwing plates and food into a busy restaurant isn't the best idea IMHO..but it is what it is. Empathy works both ways

Blimey!

It sounds to me like the waitress perhaps didn't understand what the OP was asking. Perhaps she misunderstood that the OP was talking abut a plate and just heard stuff about nappy bags and rinsing and thought the request was about rinsing nappies or nappy bags - that might explain why she looked at the OP like she'd just shat on the table.

Anyway OP, YABU. Not for the asking itself, but for being so irritated when your request wasn't able to be fulfilled, and especially for not being able to think of an alternative solution yourself, especially as it sounds as though this isn't the first time you've gone out ill-prepared.

Yuck completely unreasonable

How is it 'yuck'? It's exactly the same meal they're cleaning off all the other plates.

I would do it for you in my place. But also if I was you i would probably have just wiped with a napkin

Clearly a lot of people on this thread don't understand good customer service! 😂

Sky not just wipe it yourself with a napkin?

And other people are unrealistic about how things work behind the scenes...there are 2 sides to every story and I would like to hear the other side tbh. The OP had cocked up and was feeling hormonal...often when a employee is labeled as rude it's because the customer was being rude themselves and was feeling entitled and unreasonable. Airing their grievances on social media is a little pointless..perhaps she should have spoken to the Manager without fear of being labelled a 'Karen' if there was a training issue it may have been addressed

A lot of responses on here not considering the full context imo.

Next time OP let your toddler use the restaurant’s crockery and make the inevitable mess it will cause. You are clearly being very unreasonable by trying to take steps to minimise the mess the waitress would have to clean up at the end of the meal. 🙄

Nah if your kid makes a mess you clean that up yourself - you don't leave it for the waiting staff.

Because there is a plate cleaning system in place!! It maybe entirely automated..so a random rubber plate is more problematic than you may think??

@Whatdayisitalexa that doesn't make it 'yuck' and the waitress could easily say "sorry our dishwasher wouldn't function properly with anything other than a standard plate"

It maybe that the waitress in not in charge of clearing up mess on the floor...or washing plates? She's there to take orders, serving the plates and collecting them afterwards...expecting her to act as a nanny is not in her job description, she may not have access to the sinks or cleaning cupboard or know where they are? She may need more training as to what she is allowed to do in the name of customer service. It could be that other customers get a lower level of service if she panders to another, she may well have a target to achieve, meaning that going off piste causes an issue, her manager will know what is expected of her and is responsible for customer service/expectations/training...not for randoms on Mumsnet to decide