To be shocked at how people treat their nannies?

[Bluey124]

Sister in law is one and is very well qualified and experienced.
Yet she has had awful experiences with families.
Them not paying her on time
Nickling and diming.
Parents siding with their kids vile behaviour and letting them be rude to her
Accusing her of stealing.
Not telling her about the kids raging headlice
Leaving dirty dishes piled up in the sink (not kids)
Expecting her to change her schedule at a moments notice or keep days open without paying her.
Why are people so careless with the person who is looking after their kids, persuambly their most precious possessions?

A couple of months ago there was a thread about the average age of reading comprehension in the UK in adults. It is low.

So don't expect everyone to understand common British let alone American phrases even in context.

Do you remember the Wagatha Christie trial? A certain person didn't know what Davy Jones's locker was.

SIL used the nickel and dime expression. I know she frequents American nanny forums however so maybe picked it up from there!

There was a survey of mn demographics and average user was degree educated, profile on mn is very middle class
I don’t think there is low literacy on mn. I think there can be a lot of being wilfully obtuse. Just because

Where she will discover she is valued even less…

I actually thought you were a poster from the US.

When posters use terms common in other places that speak English I presume the poster is from there and not the UK.

I know nannies can be treated very badly over there and they have different regulations for their childcare. I get a lot of horror stories through the news feed on my phone.

I have a nanny and I definitely need her more than she needs me. In my area nannies get snapped up quickly.

if she left I wouldn’t be able to go to work until I find someone else (who knows how long that would take) and she would find another family within days.

even if I wanted to treat her badly for some reason, it would be really stupid of me to do so.

No, not American. Just an American saying she has picked up

Nickel and diming is an Americanism but pretty well known and commonly used in the Uk.

I've been a nanny employer for 8 years and don't recognise most of what is in the OP. Some flexibility with hours generally goes with the job and for the parent is a key advantage of the expense of a nanny over a nursery.

Sure there are some lovely nanny employers out there but nobody is going to come on here and say they treat their nanny unfairly.

Other than stealing accusation, I had some crap nanny experiences when younger.
Worked for 4 x US families in early 90s.
2 were lovely, 2 awful
One (now mega famous family) was worst ever - $100/wk working 7am-7pm, 4 kids. Tried to get me deported when I quit. They failed. I sued them and won.
The other awful family - mother used to not come home to breastfeed her newborn when called leaving me with a bereft, hungry bubba. So sad - I gave formula in the end.
2 families in Europe - both were really rich and v. cheap and wanted to pay less - I know my worth so quit. They weren't nasty.
The 2 fab families were truly wonderful. Interestingly, they had experienced poor nannies who drunk drove, refused to do kids' laundry so it def works both ways.

Very very common. Although most would deny it, most people look down on the "help".
As a slim childless 20 year old I got accused of stealing a maternity bra. I never once stole anything but common sense would have led them to realise that was the last thing I would want.

True.
But I work in HR and the reality is there are a lot of crap employers everywhere sadly.... Not sure nanny employers are particularly bad though it is possibly not untrue that many people with a lot of money lack common sense and empathy. And nannies are a luxury not everyone can afford.

Your nanny sounds lucky to have you.

Ah yes, the little darlings have everything, toys, clubs holidays ( one family took a baby to the Maldives-why?🤔I'm sure a bucket and spade at Margate would have been fine) The same parents quibble over every bit of your expenses, often don't pay for your sickness when you've picked up bugs from their kids. I have had some lovely families who I have been sorry to move one from. I'd agree that lots of Nannies is a red flag

I got accused of stealing the little boy's plastic cars once. Yeah, cuz they'd have such resale value now wouldn't they!

I think nanny employers are particularly bad.

I had the same nanny and cleaner for many years and some of the stories they told about how they had been treated elsewhere were shocking. I also became friends with a nanny who worked with another family at my DC's school who treated her very badly indeed, butter wouldn't melt, pillars of the community type people but quite horrible privately.

Being paid late is the worst one 😫 happens all too often.

@Marylou62 Ah I did 5 months nannying when in my early 30s and one particular family had a revolting upper class mother who was always round and referred to me as'the help' . I got out as soon as I could. They had no food in a lot of the time and I used to end up using my wages to buy food for us all. Weird horrible people!!

My friend worked for a wealthy family who made her life hell, they refused to buy the toddler shoes so she asked me for secondhand ones from my kids, they then sent a message over asking for hand me down clothes for their daughter too. They had bought their son clothes but didn’t feel it was worth it for a girl. They also hounded her to potty train their daughter at 15 months to save on nappies although they couldn’t be bothered at weekends and put her back in nappies. Friend also had to source a pushchair as the family locked theirs in the car to stop her using it. The son was incredibly rude and dismissive to her but the daughter was really lovely. She only lasted a year in that job and has been in her current one for five years.

Happens all the time. Even with "nice" employers.

I informed one nanny family that I’d be charging for every single hour I was there when I worked a weekend, yes, even during the night. They said ‘oh but you’ll have a lovely time, we’ll put you in the guest room with the en-suite and you’ll be able to watch Sky in bed, and then you’ll be asleep, so your hourly rate can be paused unless the children wake’

Like it was a night in a hotel and not my place of work with three children waking me up at the crack of dawn 🤣

@NannyR what if they didn't have time on a Sunday and we're exhausted given that they presumably are waking up early to go to work on a Monday if they have a nanny.

Sorry but it's hardly the worst thing in the world to leave dishes from a Sunday "a couple of times". Do you never leave dishes overnight if you're tired.

Ridiculous expectations

@ladykale The ridiculous expectations will be that the parents will expect her to wash them up.