To be shocked at how people treat their nannies?

[Bluey124]

Sister in law is one and is very well qualified and experienced.
Yet she has had awful experiences with families.
Them not paying her on time
Nickling and diming.
Parents siding with their kids vile behaviour and letting them be rude to her
Accusing her of stealing.
Not telling her about the kids raging headlice
Leaving dirty dishes piled up in the sink (not kids)
Expecting her to change her schedule at a moments notice or keep days open without paying her.
Why are people so careless with the person who is looking after their kids, persuambly their most precious possessions?

It’s polite not to leave the breakfast dishes piled in the sink or worse, dinner from the night before, yeah. That’s just good etiquette. I’ll merrily clean up any mess that I or the children create while working but fucked of i’m going to do dishes that accumulated when I wasn’t even there.

Nobody minds the odd plate/mug in the sink on a Monday morning but an entire weekends worth of washing up left for the nanny to clear before she can get the children's breakfast takes the piss. Only had that a few times in 20+ years of nannying. Most of my employers have treated me with respect and I have gone above and beyond in return.

Because the cleaner is occasional and therefore more manageable. I value my kids a lot more than my house and my nanny is wonderful but I don't pay her more than the (very) occasional cleaner per hour. But I pay her a salary all year round, she has a pension and paid holidays....

'Nickle and diming (to death)' is a phrase based on the American coins, nickles (5c) and dimes (10c).

It means being a Scrooge, essentially. In the case of paying a nanny, it means calculating to the last minute the time she was working, and paying her precisely the amount due, never rounding up even as much as 10p to the nearest pound.

I can't speak for others on this thread but I'm ND and can't grasp sayings instantly in any dialect including my own.
Maybe stop judging people for not knowing something.

@ladykale
What others have said about clearing a weekend's worth of pots and dishes left marinating in the sink all weekend.

I am really surprised that so many people haven’t heard the phrase nickel and diming.

Most of this of course is not acceptable as a way to treat nannies.

However I don't think the odd bit of washing up is too bad. I pay the nanny to behave as I would if I was at home - which is to focus on the child and make sure they are cared for, but also process the house stuff a bit. Obviously this isn't possible when the children are under about 4, but with school age kids you'd expect a bit of clearing up would not be begrudged.

e.g. one day I had a nanny come and I was cooking my children pancakes, I left her to do the end part of the meal with them. When I got home yeah she'd put the dishes in the dishwasher but the stove and pan I had used was still dirty- because she'd not used it herself. I think a bit of give and take is important. Some evenings the nanny hasn't had time to clear up totally and that's ok, I pick up the slack. Some mornings I haven't had time to clear up totally and I expect the nanny to pick up the slack.

I was thinking about becoming a nanny.

This thread has put me off!

I’m ND too and I know how to google.

Nickel and diming is a pretty well known American expression. And very easily to google.

It is quite annoying when people just grab a phrase from the OP and worry it to death in a thread detailing kind of way.

Experienced Nanny- unfortunately this does ring true. I've worked for lots of families. Most are not outrageously mickey taking but complacency definitely does start to creep in. I think people quickly forget that it may be their home but it is our work place. I have got very good at stating at interviews what I will and wont do. Sounds mercenary but they need me more than I need them and I have never been short of a job. Good employers realise that.
Unfortunately in my experience wealthy people are quite often wealthy because they are tighter than two coats of paint. They are used to ordering people around and often have a major superiority complex.
I am a Nanny, a good one, well qualified and experienced. I'm not a cleaner, dog walker, laundress or washer upper. However a little goodwill does go a long way. Any prospective Nanny employers should bear this in mind. A reliable loving Nanny can make your life so much easier. Treat them well and they are a marvellous asset to the family.

I've been a nanny for 15 years. I have literally, no word of a lie, been referred to as 'The Help'. Mental.

I've worked with many families and there's been a big range in how I've been treated. My current family is pretty good. The only thing we've really come to blows about is that I expect to be paid for overnights ('But you'll be asleep!)

My absolutely worst thing is that it's GOD DAMN IMPOSSIBLE to get references out of people! Seriously, how hard is it to pen a few lines? I'm sure there are templates online so they'd only have to tweak at one of those a little. These are families I've worked with for months and months, even years! It makes it very very hard to get further work.

nickel and dime AMERICAN

1. If you describe something as nickel and dime, you mean that it is not important or serious, or involves only small amounts of money. Note: A nickel is a five cent coin and a dime is a ten cent coin. I want to keep the campaign on the issues that matter. I'm not interested in that nickel and dime stuff. Some claim the company's nickel-and-dime charges are driving away sellers of inexpensive items. Note: You can also say nickel-dime with the same meaning. It's nickel-dime stuff, though, compared to what you and Michael have to deal with.
2. If someone nickels and dimes someone or something, they harm them by continually taking small amounts of money away from them, or by continually making small changes or requests. Note: A nickel is a five cent coin and a dime is a ten cent coin. The claims aren't huge but there are a lot of them and it all adds up. We're getting nickeled and dimed to death.

I can't speak for other families or other nannies but I would like to think our nanny feels valued and respected. I am pretty sure she does. I trust her entirely, I never take her for granted and she is not expected to do anything that isn't to do with the children.

She is paid what I think is a fair wage for the area but admittedly less than she is worth. As I cannot put a price on the care and love she gives my children on a daily basis. I just wish there was more support from a government/tax point of view to support families wishing to employ someone. I can only afford so much but I do increase her wage whenever I can.

But I do what I can and will continue to do so.

My parents employed nannies when I was growing up and from what I could see treated them well and I was very close to one in particular.

@DDevantMaJardin - don't be daft. I'm not 'Judging ' you. I was merely pointing out the predictable response to anything that might be considered 'not British ' particularly God forbid American. Nothing was aimed at you personally.

You've a whole internet there to look things up. ND or otherwise.

I've been an au pair. Most of the above, full on. Does your SIL have a live-in job? That makes it worse because families can kick you out at ten minutes' notice if they want. They're not ALLOWED to but there's little to stop them.

I believe it all comes down to how much you value your own children, if you really care about your child getting proper care and being treated with love you will make sure that the "good nannie" is properly taken care off. If you don't give a toss about your kids anyone will do, and you will penny pinch her, treat her like shyte and whatnot because who cares... it's just a "nanny".

Another former nanny who has worked with more than a dozen families and who has experienced very little of what you're describing.
As a previous poster said, the answer, OP, is that there are arseholes everywhere, so inevitably some will employ nannies and treat them badly. Just like their are bad bosses in every other type of job. The trick for any employee is to not stay in a situation where you're being treated like shit.

People who can afford to employ nannies, often look down on the ‘help’, and will obviously back their own DCs bad behaviour. Not nice , but one of the reasons there aren’t many nannies around. You have to be pretty thick skinned to put up with the crap you get.

I don't mind a couple of mugs and cereal bowls, not a problem at all, but with one family I worked for, I would go in on Monday morning there would be a clean dishwasher to empty, the dishes and pans from Sunday lunch piled up ready to go in the dishwasher, then all the breakfast stuff too - to me, that's really lazy. It happened a couple of times and then I pulled the parents up on it.
I leave the kitchen spotless when I leave at the end of the day and it would be nice if it was like that when I come in in the morning.

Definitely need a thick skin and to realise that even if a family say you are like family, you most likely aren't. SIL was told how much she meant to a particular family and yet they did everything I described in the OP. They also seemed to believe she should be grateful for them for their job when in reality, they were very lucky to have such a qualified, experienced and reliable nanny.

As someone who employs a nanny, I wouldn’t dream of doing most of this - apart from - leaving a mug or breakfast bowl by the sink. I already have my whole life on show and don’t want to feel uncomfortable in my own home (by constantly having to have it perfectly clean). I’m not expecting our nanny to wash up after me, I will do it later in the day if I am rushing off.

Laughing at the faux ignorance?nickel?dime? Suppose you didn’t understand Aloe Blac I need a dollar.
its an affectation. Pretending to not be able to work it out from the context of the post

It's a funny one. I have no doubt that there are some nannies who are treated badly but there are definitely nannies who are on the nickel and diming side too..

E.g.

It’s polite not to leave the breakfast dishes piled in the sink

Most people who employ nannies work in demanding jobs, they may not manage the washing up first thing. Leaving the whole weekend's dishes is clearly different

I have also countless times seen nannies on threads basically saying to any concerns or questions from parents about pay or costs "what could be too much for the person looking after your precious children?" Which is a bit ridiculous too - even families with nannies don't have unlimited money.