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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘What do you want for Mother’s Day’

111 replies

Babooshka1990 · 11/03/2023 03:28

First Mother’s Day and he’s said if expect a gift he has no idea what to get me, and I should send him a link. If I want to go anywhere I should tell him where and when.

AIBU to think it can’t be that hard to arrange a thoughtful surprise, and it’s his responsibility as the gift-giver?

Flowers, framed picture, spa voucher, or a breakfast reservation. I feel like it’s not that hard to plan/ choose something nice. I don’t really see the point if I’m making my own arrangements.

OP posts:
LittleBlueBrioTrain · 11/03/2023 03:31

Is your husband my husband?

DifficultBloodyWoman · 11/03/2023 03:32

‘A nice surprise’.

Original poster
Babooshka1990 · 11/03/2023 03:36

@DifficultBloodyWoman he said in response to that ‘I can’t think of anything’

OP posts:
MavisMcMinty · 11/03/2023 03:40

Going by other threads I’ve read on the subject, might I suggest that if you’re also expecting DH to get you a Mothers Day present “from your baby”, tell him now? Save yourself a second thread on Mumsnet after The Big Day.

coodawoodashooda · 11/03/2023 03:44

He's using a lovely celebration at a way of putting you down. It's not an accident.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 11/03/2023 03:49

Babooshka1990 · 11/03/2023 03:36

@DifficultBloodyWoman he said in response to that ‘I can’t think of anything’

In which case, we might be married to the same man!

whatausername · 11/03/2023 03:51

He can. He's being lazy.

araiwa · 11/03/2023 04:08

Flowers, framed picture, spa voucher, or a breakfast reservation.

Why can't you just tell him this?

Mercurial123 · 11/03/2023 04:24

I'd be happy with that. That way, you get something you want. I don't like flowers. I would always opt for a plant. A voucher would be even better.

WandaWonder · 11/03/2023 04:28

My husband is not my child so when our child was a baby we all went to a cafe or out for the day or whatever

I just waited until my child was old enough to do something themselves

TeenDivided · 11/03/2023 05:15

I think it is a reasonable question.
You may have been brought up with different traditions as to how much of a fuss to make of Mothers Day. If his is a flowers tradition but yours is big meal out, flowers, breakfast in bed, and a gift then you need some conversation to align expectations.

PuttingDownRoots · 11/03/2023 05:48

As much as I tease DH about his Gift Database (basically he has a spreadsheet of all his family members, and adds and removes gift ideas to it throughout the year as he sees them or people mention them)... it does solve problems like this.

whiteroseredrose · 11/03/2023 05:53

A bunch of daffodils. It is our tradition. I've always got them for my mum, and my DC get them for me.

They are pocket money flowers that DC can buy themselves when they get a bit older, which is lovely. Easily available in most supermarkets too.

smellyflowers · 11/03/2023 05:53

Can he not just Google?

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 11/03/2023 05:58

Can't you just say 'I'd love to go out for lunch somewhere', or something like that?

You're setting yourself up for disappointment. It's almost like you WANT to be pissed off at him.

Riapia · 11/03/2023 05:59

Be honest, you’re spoiling for a fight.
😉

gamerchick · 11/03/2023 06:00

Ah is it that shite soon?

Tell him what you would like OP, dont set him up. He needs to think of his mother as well.

GoodChat · 11/03/2023 06:03

All he's gotta do is Google 'First Mothers Day gifts'. It's not hard.

smellyflowers · 11/03/2023 06:14

And even if he's finding it impossible to choose all he has to do is go to a supermarket where there will be a display of suitable items

Margo34 · 11/03/2023 06:24

My first DC was a tiny baby on my first mother's day, I was subsisting off a lot of toast at the time. DH got me some toast toppers - a massive jar of Nutella and a posh jam 'from the baby'. And a bunch of supermarket Daffodils because I commented that's what we always used to get my mum for mother's day.

Mercurial123 · 11/03/2023 06:25

smellyflowers · 11/03/2023 06:14

And even if he's finding it impossible to choose all he has to do is go to a supermarket where there will be a display of suitable items

Depends. I'm not sure I'd love much from the supermarket.

C4ou56 · 11/03/2023 06:29

I’d love your husband. Mine would rather get me a surprise whereas I’d rather receive something I’ve asked for and know I’d like.

I’ve asked for a bespoke vase that contains a handprint by my daughter and a loving message

gamerchick · 11/03/2023 06:37

smellyflowers · 11/03/2023 06:14

And even if he's finding it impossible to choose all he has to do is go to a supermarket where there will be a display of suitable items

Heh ready for the 'I can't believe he bought me supermarket stuff' for mother's day threads. Grin

ArmchairAnarchist2 · 11/03/2023 06:44

Mine are older but if I don't drop a heavy hint with DH I'll end up with a meal out (I enjoy being together as a family) but it's always packed on Mother's Day and I can't eat (medical condition) plus three very expensive bouquets of flowers. This will run to around £300 in total.
It's like a game. I have a rough idea what I'll be receiving but this way I'll receive something I really want. Don't end up with an expensive waste of money and be disappointed. What does your DH do for his DM?

tootiredtospeak · 11/03/2023 06:52

Yeah but you will just get shit a teddy framed picture taat. Maybe that's just jaded old me. I happily sent a link this week to what I wanted.