To ask what age you leave a 15 year old?

[OnlyYellowRoses]

Posting here for the traffic.

Can I ask what age you would be comfortable leaving a 15 (16 in June) home alone overnight, if you would?

DS is doing his best to convince me that IABU for not wanting him to stay in our home for 2 nights, alone whilst I am away visiting partners family.

We would be a 6 hour drive away. His father (not same person as my partner) usually lives a 30 min drive away but this particular weekend would be visiting his own parents 4 hours away.

I'm not comfortable leaving him. He's sensible and not the type to throw wild house parties but I can't help feeling it's irresponsible if both parents are a substantial drive away if an emergency happened.

There is a local set of grandparents who could be here in 10 minutes if there was an issue though.

Thoughts please? Teen obviously thinks I'm very unfair, partner and actual DS father are leaning more towards the 'let him stay' camp.

Me too!! 😂

Sorry, I thought you were quibbling about how many posts you've made. You're right, you didn't say it was imperative to follow NSPCC guidance, you said it was bad parenting not to.

I disagree.

I used to fret much more when DS was 15 and did stuff like camping with friends and being left home alone than I did when he was 16, I think I heaved a sigh of relief when he reached his 16th birthday and wasn't so much of a child anymore.

@Clymene
Sorry, I thought you were quibbling about how many posts you've made. You're right, you didn't say it was imperative to follow NSPCC guidance, you said it was bad parenting not to.

Nor did I say it was bad parenting!
Again stop making things up!!
I said this is HM Gov advice on what was recommended parenting advice. I chose my words carefully.

Really you need to stop now
It's so tiresome.

I will repeat myself - you are arguing with the wrong poster

I rest my case.

@Clymene
Can you please direct your posts to someone else and stop tagging and misquoting me.

Ie. Someone who actually said what you are continually making up)

You've already admitted I said no such thing to your first erroneous claim that I said "it was imperative to follow NSPCC.."

If you actually read my posts, you'll realise I said there was specific wording on the HM Gov website and that they chose to quote that specific section of NSPCC guidance on their website & the wording used - which will have been a deliberate and considered decision.

That's how legislation, statutory and non statutory good practice guidance and recommendations work.

I haven't expressed any personal views.

Besides OP feels she has had her questions answered.

It was interesting the range of response styles. I think we can definitely spot those that work in professions that are highly regulated activities requiring work under legislation and good practice guidance, as there's a deeper understanding of what that might mean.

@clenente

I was explaining that this is how it is viewed from the good practice non statutory guidance quoted on official HM Gov website.

I can't keep explaining the same thing over and over to someone who doesn't understand the purpose of different types of guidance and how it is then viewed in that context.

You're making it personal when it simply isn't. I cannot imagine you'd follow a judge around shouting at them, when they are merely quoting the legislative, statutory & non statutory good practice guidance, and legal status of each, so it's bizarre that you are doing same to me.

My DS who is 15 is very sensible. He’s very health conscious, trains are the gym. Yesterday, he was out with his friends at a local park. He rang me in slight panic at 7:30pm saying there’s a bit of a situation, he’s okay but can he bring a friend back, I asked if he was safe and did he break any law? He said he didn’t and he will explain when he came home.

Turned at 8pm with his friend who has eaten too many edibles! Was too high (and afraid) to go home. I made them go to his room, brought water for his friend and tried to make sense out of his friend… I also had my DS13 and his friend over for a sleepover. Anyway, it wasn’t a good friend of DS’s but a school friend. No one wanted to deal with the situation and DS did not want to leave him in the park.

Anyway, I called DS’s Dad (divorced but nearby) so he knew the situation and could provide backup if needed. We decided to keep his friend in the room till he was over the worst of it. Told DS to get in touch with mutual friends to get address etc. Long and short of it, we got his friend home safely two hours later. But not before the ‘your brain and body are not fully developed at your age, please don’t mess it up with drugs’ chat with both.

My point is I don’t think my DS was well equipped to deal with that situation without a responsible adult around. I am glad I was home to deal with it. DS wanted to keep his friend overnight but I told him his parents need to be responsible for their child and if anything was to happen to his friend overnight due to whatever he ingested, we cannot take that responsibility or risk with other children in the house. He understood. It certainly wasn’t what I was expecting last night! I have left my DSes for a couple of hours before but with the experience last night, it would be a while before I left them overnight or be too far! 😬

I was.... but with my brother who was a year older... I was more sensible than him though 😂

I left DS at 16 for two nights, nearest family 30 minutes away.

Me too!

@LakieLady no- just some manners.

I left home at 16, had my own flat.
You don't mention that he has learning difficulties - at fifteen why wouldn't he be able to get up/feed himself/go to bed?

I've often left mine unlocked too. I don't routinely check it before bed.

I've often left mine unlocked too. I don't routinely check it before bed

Then you're being incredibly stupid and naive

Mine is very very sensible and also 16 in June - we have two massive labs. I was asked to go away for 2 days with work overnight and said no back in February. I was asked to go away again two nights in April - I have said yes but my friend is staying with them. Mine wouldn’t dream of smoking, vaping, drinking or anything. But no, just no. After 16 for a night maybe. But no friends and I would be 20 minutes away on a scout camp.

I’d say minimum 16 and that’s will a closeby emergency contact

It would be 15. Yes if definitely leave a 15 year old alone when they were 15.

I have two 15yr olds. Even with their older brothers here and my mum nearby - it's a nope from me. I will think about it next year when they're 16.