Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What % of your income from work do you spend because of work?

454 replies

verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 16:21

AIBU to ask you what percentage of your income from working you spend because you are working?

A younger family member has asked me to cast an eye over her sums and it looks to me like she can't afford to go back to work after maternity leave.

Once you add up nursery and the commute, she's already running at a loss even before she buys new work clothes to fit her post pregnancy figure and current norms at her workplace.

Not including convenience foods such as pre chopped veg or a bought in lasagne etc so she can get dinner on the table soon after she gets home, or takeaways for the nights she's too shattered to do that.

A cleaner do her weekends can be family time not housework time?

Treats to cheer her up because life is a bit of a grind?

Stuff like hair, make up and nails so she looks "groomed" at work?

What about you?

What percentage of your income from working do you spend because you are working?

OP posts:
Okunevo · 09/03/2023 18:10

I drive 6 and a half miles to work and back five days a week. That's it. I need hair cuts anyway. I have a few t-shirts I wear as well as the couple of work polo shirts I was given.

Dixiechickonhols · 09/03/2023 18:10

verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 18:07

Who used all the nail bars and blow dry bars then? Somebody must

Show quote history

Well most areas don’t have blow dry bars.
Acrylic or gel nails aren’t usually seen as professional.
By corporate professional I’m assuming you mean law, finance, accounting etc.

Original poster
verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 18:11

catfunk · 09/03/2023 18:07

The more I read the more it sounds like she doesn't want to go back to work which is fine but don't blame it on needing expensive blow dries fgs 😂

She isn't blaming it on expensive blow dries.

She's trying to be realistic and factor in everything.

OP posts:
ClareBlue · 09/03/2023 18:11

There are hidden costs from being in work. When my mum retired she said these were some surprises to her finances that she sort of knew but never really calculated.
Obviously no commuter costs, no work collections, didn't eat out for lunch, definitely grabbed coffees and snacks on her commute which are all pretty standard. But others included more time to smart shop going when reductions and planning meals better so she reduced her grocery bill signifantly, being able to use leisure facilities off peak and discount theatre cinema etc, take advantage of cheap flights and holidays because she could drop and go at last minute or go at low peak times, more time to get best deals on everything including insurance and utilities because she researched more, did more DIY and didn't pay people, signed up for offers and discounts that she never had time for. The list seemed to go on and on.
But this wouldn't include any career disadvantage from being off that always has to be considered if you want career development.

Dishwashersaurous · 09/03/2023 18:13

No one is saying that people don't use nail bars etc.

What they are saying is that when someone chooses to become a parent that requires life choices.

One of the choices is what to spend income on. And for the early years very many people have to spend their disposable income on childcare.

Original poster
verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 18:13

Dishwashersaurous · 09/03/2023 18:09

So she's qualified in a city profession, which requires grooming so definitely not a the charity sector.

Which means that she should either earn well or expect to increase earnings in years to come.

So it must be very marginal. Assuming highest cost nursery £2k a month.

Nursery is quite a lot more than that. They would also need wraparound care morning and evening and her season ticket would be edging £500 a month I would have thought.

OP posts:
Verylongtime · 09/03/2023 18:13

Dishwashersaurous · 09/03/2023 18:09

So she's qualified in a city profession, which requires grooming so definitely not a the charity sector.

Which means that she should either earn well or expect to increase earnings in years to come.

So it must be very marginal. Assuming highest cost nursery £2k a month.

She doesn’t say she’s qualified in a city profession. She says “corporate” and “qualified”. Maybe she’s an estate agent, for example.

Original poster
verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 18:14

Dishwashersaurous · 09/03/2023 18:13

No one is saying that people don't use nail bars etc.

What they are saying is that when someone chooses to become a parent that requires life choices.

One of the choices is what to spend income on. And for the early years very many people have to spend their disposable income on childcare.

It's not disposable income though is it?

It's her whole income. (Including commute)

OP posts:
rothbury · 09/03/2023 18:15

Sorry OP but you jumped the shark with "heels"

Dishwashersaurous · 09/03/2023 18:16

And as you say she's qualified in a corporaterl role 'm genuinely surprised that her salary isn't more than 30 k net.

2k nursery and 500 travel.

Dixiechickonhols · 09/03/2023 18:21

You are still only factoring in immediate costs though.

eg she earns 2000 a month, childcare and commute costs are 2000 so she says therefore not worth me working.

If he’s paying her pension and life insurance to replace what she had with work that’s say £300 a month household is immediately worse off.
or if he won’t do that potentially she’s thousands down in her pension pot.

Or she currently earns 30,000. Becomes sahm. In 5 yrs time can only get job on 20,000. That’s another 20/30 years earning vastly less that she would have earned if she had kept working. Obviously depends on profession/career progression etc.

Thats what to focus mind on not small costs of I’ll need 6 haircuts a year working v 3 as a sahm.

Original poster
verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 18:21

@redskylight They thought they had planned adequately but everything is so much more expensive now than it was when they did the sums originally.

Her DH travels for work so whatever she does they need childcare.

I think she'd rather take some time out than work nights at something and look after the children all day. Is that what you were suggesting?

OP posts:
Original poster
verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 18:23

Dishwashersaurous · 09/03/2023 18:16

And as you say she's qualified in a corporaterl role 'm genuinely surprised that her salary isn't more than 30 k net.

2k nursery and 500 travel.

It's nursery and wraparound for two children plus £500 travel.

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 09/03/2023 18:23

If she doesn't want to work that's a completely legitimate choice.

But it is short sighted if she is in a career job.

Original poster
verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 18:24

rothbury · 09/03/2023 18:15

Sorry OP but you jumped the shark with "heels"

I don't wear them either but she says her industry still does.

They don't do WFH or compressed hours or anything non traditional either.

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 09/03/2023 18:25

If its a second child then she absolutely did know it would be expensive and what the costs involved are.

Dixiechickonhols · 09/03/2023 18:26

A nanny or nanny share will probably be cheaper than nursery and wrap around.
I’d look at another role with no train commute and perhaps some wfh.
Evening or weekend work is a good suggestion too to keep hand in. Lots of professions have options eg law there’s document review type roles.
Other option is he looks for a more family friendly role.

CantFindTheBeat · 09/03/2023 18:27

Sorry OP, you're holding women back with your dated attitude.

Stillcountingbeans · 09/03/2023 18:27

Dixiechickonhols · 09/03/2023 18:21

You are still only factoring in immediate costs though.

eg she earns 2000 a month, childcare and commute costs are 2000 so she says therefore not worth me working.

If he’s paying her pension and life insurance to replace what she had with work that’s say £300 a month household is immediately worse off.
or if he won’t do that potentially she’s thousands down in her pension pot.

Or she currently earns 30,000. Becomes sahm. In 5 yrs time can only get job on 20,000. That’s another 20/30 years earning vastly less that she would have earned if she had kept working. Obviously depends on profession/career progression etc.

Thats what to focus mind on not small costs of I’ll need 6 haircuts a year working v 3 as a sahm.

This.
She has to look at the life-time opportunity cost of not working.
If she has 2, 3, 4 years out of work, or longer, she is missing out on pension, but more importantly getting behind in her career, which could cost many tens of thousands, or even hundreds of thousands by the time she retires.

The early years of childcare costs should be looked at in the same way as a student loan - you pay upfront, and/or get into debt, so that you reap the rewards later in life.

Original poster
verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 18:28

Dishwashersaurous · 09/03/2023 18:25

If its a second child then she absolutely did know it would be expensive and what the costs involved are.

She didn't know how much her mortgage and food bill would go up a month though.
Or clothes. Or nursery or everything really.

OP posts:
Original poster
verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 18:28

CantFindTheBeat · 09/03/2023 18:27

Sorry OP, you're holding women back with your dated attitude.

How am I?

OP posts:
LeroyJenkinssss · 09/03/2023 18:30

So what happens when the child gets free hours/goes to school? When she struggles to re-enter the job market and she feels crap about herself? Then their overall financial position is worse for far longer than if they’d just sucked it up for a few years.

tbh you don’t sound like you’re the right person to be doing this for her as you are coming across as incredibly short sighted

BadNomad · 09/03/2023 18:32

You and her are being very short-sighted by only focusing on the money side of this. Even if going back to work now will mean a slight overall loss, that won't be forever. However, not going back to work now will mean no growth at all and she will fall behind, not only financially, but on skills and experience also. Despite what some people like to spout on here, you can't put "home-maker" under skills on your CV.

Original poster
verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 18:32

Dixiechickonhols · 09/03/2023 18:21

You are still only factoring in immediate costs though.

eg she earns 2000 a month, childcare and commute costs are 2000 so she says therefore not worth me working.

If he’s paying her pension and life insurance to replace what she had with work that’s say £300 a month household is immediately worse off.
or if he won’t do that potentially she’s thousands down in her pension pot.

Or she currently earns 30,000. Becomes sahm. In 5 yrs time can only get job on 20,000. That’s another 20/30 years earning vastly less that she would have earned if she had kept working. Obviously depends on profession/career progression etc.

Thats what to focus mind on not small costs of I’ll need 6 haircuts a year working v 3 as a sahm.

She is well aware. It's just that it's hard to ignore the immediate term when you are living in it.

There's never a good time to have a couple of babies if you've got a career is there?

OP posts:
Botw1 · 09/03/2023 18:32

If they're worried about COL then giving up a whole income is the worst idea