What % of your income from work do you spend because of work?

[verdantverdure]

AIBU to ask you what percentage of your income from working you spend because you are working?

A younger family member has asked me to cast an eye over her sums and it looks to me like she can't afford to go back to work after maternity leave.

Once you add up nursery and the commute, she's already running at a loss even before she buys new work clothes to fit her post pregnancy figure and current norms at her workplace.

Not including convenience foods such as pre chopped veg or a bought in lasagne etc so she can get dinner on the table soon after she gets home, or takeaways for the nights she's too shattered to do that.

A cleaner do her weekends can be family time not housework time?

Treats to cheer her up because life is a bit of a grind?

Stuff like hair, make up and nails so she looks "groomed" at work?

What about you?

What percentage of your income from working do you spend because you are working?

In what way?

I also think it's quite short sighted as other posters have said. Even if she was only breaking even over the next couple of years, until 30 free hours / school etc kicks in (and I think only breaking even is highly unlikely) it would still probably be beneficial financially to keep her career ticking along, as it might hard to pick up where she left off if she takes a few years or more off being a SAHP.

Even flight crew are having nail/hair/make up/shoe requirements relaxed these days!!! What industry is this?
I’ve worked in corporate roles for 30 years and I do know people who spend a lot of time/money on grooming but they’re definitely the minority.

if this is child number 2, presumably they’ll be eligible for some free hours soon?

@verdantverdure

Theres that sexism again.

Doesn't seem to be affecting her ohs career much

How are you?

By assuming the woman bears all the financial penalties of having children.

By saying that the woman may need to buy a lasagne or chopped veg to be the nurturer/provider after work.

For suggesting that she may be the one needing to do housework at weekends.

By perpetuating stereotypes that women should factor in costs for nails/heels/hair rather than financial independence, pension contributions, work/life balance and value.

Truly depressing.

It's not an income if it goes out immediately on childcare and commuting costs is it?

And lunches, work clothes etc are an additional cost on top

£0

I walk to work, take lunch. Work clothes- yes I had to buy some but haven’t bought anything at all since pre pandemic.

lots of free coffee at work!

Well most people I know had an age gap to avoid 2 lots of full nursery fees eg until some free hours kick in. Obviously can’t be helped with twins. But if you are paying £1000 for 1 baby it’s no surprise you’ll be paying £2000 for 2 if you choose a small gap.
It’s only a short term issue though.

It's still income. Income doesn't mean "extra spending money". You're ignoring all the other good and vital reasons for working and only focusing on the fact there won't be money left over for luxuries.

Why is it all her?

Can't they buy more convenience foods and they do housework at weekends?

What are both their salaries?

She eats lunch whether she works or not. I take food from home on office days. I’d say you are more likely to spend on lunch as a sahm I did on my days off eg lunch at play centre, meet friend for coffee etc.
Look for a wfh or more relaxed firm if she wants to avoid ‘work’ clothes. My wardrobe is same.

@
😂😂😂

@verdantverdure

I think you'll find it's you who said it would be her.

I think you're on a wind up, OP.

@verdantverdure

An income is an income regardless of how you spend it

Working now is an insurance

It's worth it

I would take into account the lost wage from NOT working. If her DH earns over £60k then she won't get child benefit, meaning her national insurance contributions will need to be paid from his salary.

Let's say 5 years until the child goes to school, most people will have had at least one promotion in that time, so that's what, £5-£10k per year lost on a low level professional job (and I'm being conservative there knowing in the last 3 years my DH has gone from a £30k a year job to £65k a year and still working very flexibly around school pick ups).

Does she want a second child? Because that second lot of maternity pay will be gone too.

When she re-enters the workforce she'll likely be re-entering at a lower point than she is now, and have to build back up.

5 years of pension contributions from her employer, conservatively call that £3k a year, but if you compound it it's worth significantly more.

I'm assuming DH not OH because if just a partner she's giving up what money can't touch, namely her independance and stability.

Does she need to keep up a professional qualification or membership? Mine was £280 a year or I'd have had to go back to uni to requalify.

I absolutely get how it makes financial sense in a low income household with few prospects for career progression for one person not to work and to get tax credits or whatever to make up the lost wage, knowing that you can re-enter the workforce in a shop/call centre level job in 5 years time without too much difficulty, and if both are low income earners then you get national insurance through child benefit, but if you hold any kind of professional career it's a very short termist view to step out of the workforce on financial grounds. Child's wellbeing, family balance, you can argue these things, but I really struggle to see the financial arguement when women who take a career break earn so much less over their average career as a result.

I wfh four days a week.

It still costs me £300 a month in commuting, plus I've spent £320 on London clothes for this winter that I would not have bought if I wasn't doing my job. So maybe 10% of my take home pay.

It is an income and if for example he lost his job would be very welcome. They could give nursery notice and him mind children while he looked for work.
Or if he died she’d have income to keep them afloat and may get govt help towards childcare.
In a few months nursery bill will decrease as free hours kick in. In a few years nursery costs will be zero.

My only work expenses are the commute and The electricity and Wi-Fi to work from home.

So about £20 a week.

I wear clothes and makeup that I would own anyway without work. Same with hair products - I'd have them either way. If I couldn't afford any I would just brush my hair.

Cooking a meal each night is a normal occurrence.

Treats are not an expense.

A cleaner isn't necessary. It's ok for the house to be a bit messy until the weekend. Only chores I do on weeknights is cooking, dishes and maybe a bit of laundry. The rest waits.

I think you can still claim ni to get credit even if he is a high earner and he just pays it back via tax - so no additional cost but definitely worth doing as sahm needs ni credit.

Can't believe the strong opinions coming out against the hidden costs of working and against poor OP!

It is so familiar to me although my situation slightly different as had been a SAHM for 5 years but when I went back to work I took out small loan and paid it back over time.

While not working I had no work wardrobe so spent 1200 approx on new corporate wardrobe. Got my hair done and ongoing have to get it done every 6 weeks - would be totally unacceptable to leave as was when I didn't work (and didn't give a damn!). Have to buy make up and beauty products - again never did bother when not working.

Have a cleaner now (in fairness work 50-60 hours a week). Did have to have childcare costs but they are slightly older now so that not there anymore. Definitely spend more on weekly shop as used to as buy lots more convenience food. Loved cooking from scratch when not working and used to eat leftovers etc for lunch. Now lots more convenience food or at the very least pre chopped veg etc. Buy lunch everyday - yes could bring it but definitely with long hours it is easier. And yes travel costs

So absolutely there are extra costs but I suppose for me it was because of a totally different lifestyle associated with work - the whole "look" I have for work is worlds away from what I would choose otherwise. And other factor being lack of time resulting in more costs. Whereas this may not apply to everyone I know but definitely would think it does to some.

Not getting the 'lunches' thing. She would need lunch and need to prepare it, whether that is cooking soup on a Sunday or making a sandwich each day, regardless. Many many working parents have to do their own housework and cooking, a cleaner or expensive prepared foods are not an option.

I know it's a complex issue. But I do think women (& it is mainly women) fo need to think about the long term re work. She will be paying into her pension and progressing her career, or at least staying relevant in her field. So maybe at this point it's a next reduction in family finances but overall worth it.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-56315730 - due to childcare breaks women save for pensions later and need to work 37 years longer if they want to get the same pension as their male counterparts

www.thenationalnews.com/business/money/women-taking-a-career-break-pay-a-much-bigger-price-than-lost-earnings-1.820148 - each year of career break 'costs' 3-4x the annual salary due to loss of pension, lifetime earnings, promotion oppertunities etc

The way the question is framed is utterly depressing and evidences why we even have a problem in the first place. None of the essential costs you've listed are more than 50% her responsibility. One of the best husbands I know talked at length to me once about why it made perfect sense for his wife to go back to work but at a slight overall loss (pension, future earnings, cv maintenance, sanity)