What % of your income from work do you spend because of work?

[verdantverdure]

AIBU to ask you what percentage of your income from working you spend because you are working?

A younger family member has asked me to cast an eye over her sums and it looks to me like she can't afford to go back to work after maternity leave.

Once you add up nursery and the commute, she's already running at a loss even before she buys new work clothes to fit her post pregnancy figure and current norms at her workplace.

Not including convenience foods such as pre chopped veg or a bought in lasagne etc so she can get dinner on the table soon after she gets home, or takeaways for the nights she's too shattered to do that.

A cleaner do her weekends can be family time not housework time?

Treats to cheer her up because life is a bit of a grind?

Stuff like hair, make up and nails so she looks "groomed" at work?

What about you?

What percentage of your income from working do you spend because you are working?

If nursery and commute are more than her wages then she can't be on a very high wage.

So ignore the rubbish about nails etc.

She has two choices , which I assume she thought about before she was pregnant.

1. Stop work.

1. Carry on working and suck up the costs for a few years. Then costs reduce and her earning potential increases

Even if childcare and commute means working at a “loss”, this is true for many people in the first couple of years after returning to work after having a baby. But you decide between you whether it’s worth sucking it up or not. But those extras just aren’t needed.

She hasn't wanted or needed to buy make up or have a haircut while on mat leave.

A lot of the things you've listed don't apply to most people as work expenses they just crack on without them.

But, I'd also be mindful of the type of career she has and if she'll be missing out on progression and higher salary long term by not going back. May be worth taking a hit for a while.

However if it's a dead end job then fair fucks I'd not bother.

It’s really hard when you are bogged down with a baby to imagine life in a few years time.
It’s not just as simple as wage in v costs out now.
If she is a sahm for say 5 yrs will she be able to work again in corporate role. If not what will she do (retraining costs money)

Childcare is by far our biggest expense. I work 75percent of the week (teacher) on top of payscale and childcare for two children is over half my income. A quarter of our household income. I probably don't spend any differently on anything else.

No. So she gets a haircut. No one needs to buy new make-up. Surely she still has some at home if she chooses to use it. Or a tenner on new mascara?

Does she want to work or not, OP?

It sounds very much like she doesn't, and that she is looking for ways of justifying this decision.

Not much, as I walk to work. Today i gave a fiver to a collection but that's rare enough where I am now. I've worked places where they collected for a green light at a cross roads.

When my children were small and I had two, I just couldn't afford to work, I was a single parent though so though there was nobody to share the childcare costs with. My earning potential wasn't high and my youngest was on the spectrum.

Give your friend a comaraderish pat on the arm from me, it's incredibly difficult when your kids are small. If her H wants her back at work he'll have to fund half of the childcare, if he refuses to do that then that is spelling out his disregard for her future.

Also if she doesn't have time to do the housework when is she going to find the time for all this unnecessary pampering?

True, she's so pushed for time she needs to have regular takeaways, yet relaxed enough to spend regular time in nail salons and blow dry bars. It really is fiction!😂

But her sums have assumed that, if she doesn't go back to work, she will never have a haircut again.

It's bullshit.

Don't forget the tax free childcare scheme when working out childcare costs. You get 20% off (from the government).

Also look into childminders they are often cheaper than nurseries, and sometimes take their holidays as unpaid, so it can work out quite a lot cheaper than nurseries.

Lots of jobs are partly WFH now, which brings down commuting.

I am a working single mum, and don't spend very little money on 'convenience food' or 'treats', so think they aren't essentials on your list tbh..

Hair,make up nails, spend no more than if I wasn't working. I would still want to feel like me (hair make up wise) if I was a SAHM.

Yes, yes, this certainly rings true of corporate roles.....

.....IN THE 80s!! 👄💅

Nursery - fortunately my kids are older but these costs should be factored across both parents salaries - not just the mum.

Commute - I wfh so nothing

New clothes - that's a choice really but no need to spend a fortune - try ASDA and Tescos - my 'work' clothes mostly come from there. Trousers and tops.

Convenience foods - definitely a choice and not the cost of being employed. Cooking from scratch, meal planning, batch cooking all much cheaper. She and her OH just need to get organised.

Cleaner - definitely a choice and not the cost of being employed

Treats to cheer her up because life is a bit of a grind? - you are just taking the piss now. That is what disposable income is for. Its not an employment cost.

Stuff like hair - fair enough but again a choice

Make up and nails so she looks "groomed" at work? - a choice. Not necessary.

What percentage of your income from working do you spend because you are working?

For me almost nothing - and your list is rather crazy IMO. The only real work costs are childcare and commuting.

Also what about the costs of being a stay at home mum?

Toddler groups, activities, coffee's out, etc. I realise you can do it very cheaply but still, there are costs either way.

@verdantverdure

She says all the women at work use nail bars and blow dry bars and wear office heels. She thinks she's the only one who doesn't have some form of hair colour. Highlights generally

She says she would really stand out and not in a good way if she didn't conform

This stuff is totally unnecessary.

Jeezo - Yesterday was International Women's Day

Clearly we have a bloody long way to go if a woman thinks that she can't hold down a job without nail bars, blow dry bars and office heels.

I am a Chief Executive Officer and I have never visited a nail bar, blow dry bar and I last wore heels about 2 decades ago.

She's qualified in her profession, is good at it, enjoys it.

Childcare is the biggest expense so if she got a different job out of her industry it would presumably be on a lower wage so her situation would be even worse?

She says all the women at work use nail bars and blow dry bars and wear office heels. She thinks she's the only one who doesn't have some form of hair colour. Highlights generally.*

Sorry this is absolute bullshit.
I'm thought of as 'well groomed' but don't do any of the above.

Well, she maybe needs a haircut if she's not had it cut during maternity leave.

But, if she's not bothered by wearing makeup or having her hair cut, she doesn't need to do either now.

I work with 3 women who all get their hair cut and coloured every 6-8 weeks. I get mine cut once a year and mostly tie it up in a ponytail. Does it prevent me doing my job? No. If any of the women were sufficiently unpleasant to comment on my hair (they aren't) that would be their problem and not mine.

I can’t believe there’s any corporate professional job where everyone has to be in heels/nails/blow dry.
If that’s the culture of that particular office look elsewhere - in house time, wfh, all male team etc.

The more I read the more it sounds like she doesn't want to go back to work which is fine but don't blame it on needing expensive blow dries fgs 😂

I know nursery fees are a lot. My dc are 9 and 7 now and those nursery fees have been easily earned back since they started school because I've had pay rises. If I had taken time out I'd be on about £25k less now, plus those years of lost pension etc.

In answer to your question I spend about £200-300 a year on work clothes and afterschool club is about £2.5k a year. But work is closer than any shopping / attractions I would be driving to as a SAHM and I'm not snacking all day so I reckon the clothing cost is covered by spending less on fuel and chocolate!

Who used all the nail bars and blow dry bars then? Somebody must

So she needs to look for a different job or get creative with solutions. Can she wfh some of the time? Work compressed hours? Work opposite hours to her partner? Take a cheaper mode of transport or live closer to where she works?

Or ideally (too late now, but for the benefit of others reading the thread) have saved up enough money to cover a temporary dip in finances. This is the most expensive time for childcare; but it gets cheaper.

So she's qualified in a city profession, which requires grooming so definitely not a the charity sector.

Which means that she should either earn well or expect to increase earnings in years to come.

So it must be very marginal. Assuming highest cost nursery £2k a month.