What % of your income from work do you spend because of work?

[verdantverdure]

AIBU to ask you what percentage of your income from working you spend because you are working?

A younger family member has asked me to cast an eye over her sums and it looks to me like she can't afford to go back to work after maternity leave.

Once you add up nursery and the commute, she's already running at a loss even before she buys new work clothes to fit her post pregnancy figure and current norms at her workplace.

Not including convenience foods such as pre chopped veg or a bought in lasagne etc so she can get dinner on the table soon after she gets home, or takeaways for the nights she's too shattered to do that.

A cleaner do her weekends can be family time not housework time?

Treats to cheer her up because life is a bit of a grind?

Stuff like hair, make up and nails so she looks "groomed" at work?

What about you?

What percentage of your income from working do you spend because you are working?

I think the bottom line is that your "friend" doesn't want to go back to work and wants to stay at home and is trying to justify this by spouting a load of crap about how she has to spend lots of money to maintain her very rich lifestyle and image and spend shed loads of money on unnecessary things. Dismissing anyone who suggests that childcare is a joint cost or anyone who suggests places where she could cut back
And then turns it all around into a sexist argument about how hard life is for working women
Tell your "friend" to go back to work or don't go back to work
Loads of us work and bring up kids and spent a ton on childcare and are skint as in proper skint like not paying able to pay bills let alone a bleeding fancy blowdry

@Jmaho
Exactly, the whole, 'I can't believe she'll be working and won't even be able to afford a takeaway or to get her nails done', that is the reality for so many people!

Nobody buys work clothes. You just wear the same stuff you wore before pregnancy, or during pregnancy, or on Mat Leave. This isn't a work problem, you would need new clothes regardless.

Nobody’s body changes due to pregnancy or breast feeding. Ditto.

Nobody goes out for a Boots Meal Deal at lunch, let alone a Pret sandwich. You eat lunch anyway. Again, not a work problem.

Nobody buys prepared food or orders in because they’re tired. Not a work problem.

Nobody has to look presentable or professional at work. That’s why everyone famously adhered to the exact same wardrobe, make up, hair and nail polish choices during lockdown and Mat Leave. I have worked in many corporate environments. You are wayyyyy overexaggerating this beyond what you would do for regular life. Haircuts and getting your nails done are not a work problem.

Nobody so much as has unprotected sex without first saving up £50k to pay for a couple of years of nursery fees. Nobody is saying this.

Nobody with a commute has children. Nobody is saying this.

Nobody gets a cleaner. You push the hoover round once you’ve got the babies to sleep. Nobody is saying this.

You are very defensive about this. Work or don't work. Do what makes sense for your situation. There are pros and cons to both. But you seem to have very much made up your mind that the best choice for you is to be a SAHP, so do that.

Petrol - around 500 miles a month getting to and from work.

Stationery - I occasionally buy a notepad or a few pens.

Phone - a handful of calls a year.

That's it.