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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What % of your income from work do you spend because of work?

454 replies

verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 16:21

AIBU to ask you what percentage of your income from working you spend because you are working?

A younger family member has asked me to cast an eye over her sums and it looks to me like she can't afford to go back to work after maternity leave.

Once you add up nursery and the commute, she's already running at a loss even before she buys new work clothes to fit her post pregnancy figure and current norms at her workplace.

Not including convenience foods such as pre chopped veg or a bought in lasagne etc so she can get dinner on the table soon after she gets home, or takeaways for the nights she's too shattered to do that.

A cleaner do her weekends can be family time not housework time?

Treats to cheer her up because life is a bit of a grind?

Stuff like hair, make up and nails so she looks "groomed" at work?

What about you?

What percentage of your income from working do you spend because you are working?

OP posts:
Botw1 · 09/03/2023 16:52

Is the kids dad considering not going back to work?

Or going part time to reduce costs?

Dixiechickonhols · 09/03/2023 16:53

You need to factor in what she’s missing too - pension payments, career progression, enhanced maternity if she has another Baby.

Dishwashersaurous · 09/03/2023 16:53

In many cases its worth working for a year or two effectively for free to keep a foot in the door of the workplace. Otherwise it's hard to get back. Plus you get 2 or 3 years of pension contributions.

QforCucumber · 09/03/2023 16:53

We don't class our 1k a month nursery fees as only my cost.

I earn 27k, DH earns 33k - we proportionately cover the cost of the nursery (and all other outgoings) on our incomes, both of us gain a 'profit' each month. Nursery is for 2.5 years ish max - we have absorbed that cost, and gained more in payrises and promotions in the time than I would have if taking 2.5 years out of work. Woudl she step back in after that time at a similar level?

No cleaner, both work FT - don't spend much time on weekends doing housework either tbh.

Dishwashersaurous · 09/03/2023 16:53

Often the best thing to do is both parents go part time to minimise childcare costs

Verylongtime · 09/03/2023 16:54

Most people do not have cleaners and yet manage to work and have children.

QforCucumber · 09/03/2023 16:54

Stuff like hair, make up and nails so she looks "groomed" at work? I also don't but these things just so I look groomed at work! Jesus could your post be any more sexist?!

if that's the case won't she still need to look groomed for her husband as a SAHM?

Original poster
verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 16:55

sghtnmk · 09/03/2023 16:51

Sounds a bit like you're making an excuse not to work really. A lot of what you list are choices not necessities.

She's trying to be realistic and factor it all in.

OP posts:
Dixiechickonhols · 09/03/2023 16:55

Food costs may be lower eg no need to feed child if it’s at nursery - mine had all 3 meals there on days I worked. Wear and tear in house/furniture is less too.

LookingOldTheseDays · 09/03/2023 16:55

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 09/03/2023 16:49

Has she calculated what it will cost her not to go back to work? Not only in lost earnings, but lost opportunities for career development and progression, lost pension contributions etc

Agreed. Going back to work pretty much always pays in the long run.

Botw1 · 09/03/2023 16:55

@verdantverdure

No it won't.

None of those things are costs of working.

They are lifestyle choices

Why can't her oh go part time?

Or make the dinner or do the housework?

SausageRoll2020 · 09/03/2023 16:56

I haven't read the full thread so this might have already been mentioned.
But she should be looking at returning to work as an investment. If she returns to work she has the opportunity for career progression etc.

She could also consider changing job/career path to a role without an expensive commute.

crazyaboutcats · 09/03/2023 16:56

Very little. My commute is $120 per month, work buys in lunch for us and has good tea and coffee faculties, and my clothes and grooming are the same if I did not work but still had the income. Also DH and I share shopping, cooking, cleaning, and do not rely on convince shops, products or services.

However when I use to earn much less and had a shite of a gobshite of a first husband it would 'cost me' to work overtime as he'd order himself a takeaway and I'd be taxed half because of student loan repayments. I also one of those women always running from work to the Tesco Extra to the train station.

Original poster
verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 16:56

QforCucumber · 09/03/2023 16:54

Stuff like hair, make up and nails so she looks "groomed" at work? I also don't but these things just so I look groomed at work! Jesus could your post be any more sexist?!

if that's the case won't she still need to look groomed for her husband as a SAHM?

Well that would be a bit 2950s housewife wouldn't it?

OP posts:
LookingOldTheseDays · 09/03/2023 16:57

verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 16:55

She's trying to be realistic and factor it all in.

Show quote history

Well why has she factored in the cost of getting her nails done (utterly unecessary and not work related), but not factored in the long term pension benefits etc.?

She's looking for excuses because she wants the answer to be "don't work".

Verylongtime · 09/03/2023 16:57

People - or you mean women - do not do makeup or nails to look “groomed” at work. Sexist outdated rubbish. They are personal tastes, nothing to do with work expenses.

Original poster
verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 16:57

Botw1 · 09/03/2023 16:55

@verdantverdure

No it won't.

None of those things are costs of working.

They are lifestyle choices

Why can't her oh go part time?

Or make the dinner or do the housework?

Her DH going part time would also have costs wouldn't it?

He has a longer commute and travels for work a lot.

OP posts:
Botw1 · 09/03/2023 16:57

Why does she need you to do her sums for her?

Its2amimustbelonely · 09/03/2023 16:58

Can she afford not to go back? If she earns more than minimum wage then I don't see how she could be running at a loss?

Botw1 · 09/03/2023 16:58

@verdantverdure

Yes, it would have a cost

But so would her giving up work.

strawberry2017 · 09/03/2023 16:58

Well the house work and cooking can be split between 2 people.
Clothes is a one off cost not a regular cost.
Make up- nails and hair is a nice to have not a monthly cost.
Cleaning split between 2 people.

Your way of looking at things and working out finances is bizarre and not realistic at all.

senua · 09/03/2023 16:59

Has she factored in the cost of keeping the house warm all day for the baby? That would probably swing it!

MereDintofPandiculation · 09/03/2023 16:59

verdantverdure · 09/03/2023 16:37

Yeah, if you don't get home until 6 or 7, then do bedtime and make dinner I don't know when you would do housework except the weekends if you didn't have a cleaner.

Show quote history

I brought up two children while leaving for work at 7.30 am and getting home at 7pm. I did not have a cleaner. Yes, a lot of jobs happened at the weekend.

MushMonster · 09/03/2023 16:59

13.8% due to commute

chocolatepenny89 · 09/03/2023 16:59

It feels like you are trying to push an agenda here, i.e. mothers shouldn’t work.

I spend about 20% of my monthly income on costs associated with work. That covers travel, clothes, lunches and my half of the childcare.

I know this will come as a huge shock to you but in our house my husband does the cooking so I don’t have to worry about being too tired to make dinner. We don’t have a cleaner but have never found that a problem.