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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's well for some isn't it?

109 replies

jumperoobaby · 09/03/2023 10:11

Apologies some of this may be tone deaf. I know not every one has disposable income

Myself, DH and baby DS went to centre parcs the other week for 3 nights and it was lovely.

But I've had a few friends/ family say things like 'oh isn't it well for ya' 'that place costs a fortune' 'ye must be loaded'

I 100% appreciate that the COL crisis is affecting a lot of people and this does include us. We don't have a bad income but not a anything fantastic either.

We have money for things like CP because we don't drink and I no longer smoke. I am not saying people can't/ shouldn't I used to spend anything from €100- €150 per week on drink/ cigs. We both quit alcohol about 3 years ago and I stopped smoking when I got pregnant and didn't take it back up. We are saving a fortune.

It just annoys me, those comments have come from people who I know drink/ smoke. What they spend their disposable income on is 100% up to them. As I said I used to spend loads on drink/ smokes and didn't really think anything of it and enjoyed my Saturday night out in the pubs. But no longer enjoy those things so choose to spend my money on other stuff now.

Not really sure what the questions is :

YABU - people are struggling and can't afford things like CP so you shouldn't be showing off that you can go there by putting 1 picture on SM

YANBU - You have the money because of how you choose to spend your disposable income

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 09/03/2023 10:13

If you are so familiar with these people then why not say ‘it’s thanks to giving up smoking and booze that we could afford it’

I mean how many people said this to you? One, two?

Was it your evil sister or your least favourite brother?

fuzzbearpenguin · 09/03/2023 10:15

Just say to them what you've said here. You've saved loads by giving up drink and cigarettes, it's up to them how they choose to spend their money but if you tell them that's how you've done it they may feel inspired to do the same.

However being judgey because they do choose to spend money on drink and cigarettes isn't a nice thing to do either.

ilovesooty · 09/03/2023 10:16

Lots of people who don't drink or smoke have no money for luxuries and even struggle to afford basics.

It's a fact that some people have more disposable income than others.

You appear to have more money for luxuries than some of your contemparies.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/03/2023 10:19

As this has specifically only been said by people who drink and smoke - just say so!!

In a nice way. 'I know, it was lovely, it's cos we saved a fortune when we gave up cigarettes and drink.'

ilovesooty · 09/03/2023 10:19

, *Contempories

Just tell them you've saved the money by giving up cigs and booze. Or nod, smile and move on.

LindorDoubleChoc · 09/03/2023 10:21

"Yes we saved all the money we used to spend on alcohol and cigarettes and soon had enough to go to Center Parcs, it was well worth it!" said bright and breezy with a big smile.

AllOfThemWitches · 09/03/2023 10:25

Center Parcs is known for being expensive, possibly too expensive, they're probably just making lighthearted conversation...

PuttingDownRoots · 09/03/2023 10:27

"We saved up".

Despite prices going up, many people will have some sort of holiday. (I thought centreparcs was no where near as expensive midweek in term time anyway?)

Champooforyou · 09/03/2023 10:27

I'd say something like that because I find CP ridiculously expensive for what it is. Nothing to do with fags / booze / envy / poverty.

Oakorn · 09/03/2023 10:28

Your options at the bottom are goady and you know it. YABU to think people who can’t afford holidays can’t afford them because they piss away their money on fags and booze. No one has said you aren’t allowed to go on holiday or post a picture on Facebook.

Forensix · 09/03/2023 10:28

Centreparcs is known for having to remortgage your house to go, so I wouldn't worry about it people are always going to make those comments about centreparcs.

Original poster
jumperoobaby · 09/03/2023 10:29

Just to say I know some people have no disposable income at all and are really struggling.

And no I do no judge people for drinking/ smoking I filled my boots with both for many years!! I prob also complained about being broke but not seeing the big hole I was throwing my money down.

OP posts:
Oakorn · 09/03/2023 10:31

jumperoobaby · 09/03/2023 10:29

Just to say I know some people have no disposable income at all and are really struggling.

And no I do no judge people for drinking/ smoking I filled my boots with both for many years!! I prob also complained about being broke but not seeing the big hole I was throwing my money down.

So what’s your point then? Simply that you’re offended by inane chitchat?

Original poster
jumperoobaby · 09/03/2023 10:33

@Oakorn chit chat would be 'isn't that nice, did you enjoy it' not making me feel guilty for going away for a weekend.

OP posts:
Chickenly · 09/03/2023 10:33

Centre parcs is known for being terrible value for money. It’s generally perceived that, if you go there, either someone else was paying, you got roped into a stag/hen with no choice of the location, or you have more money than sense.

PuttingDownRoots · 09/03/2023 10:33

Within a few minutes I've found midweek centreparcs trips for 2 adults and a baby for 4 nights for £350.

That is cheaper than some premier inns...

AllOfThemWitches · 09/03/2023 10:34

PuttingDownRoots · 09/03/2023 10:33

Within a few minutes I've found midweek centreparcs trips for 2 adults and a baby for 4 nights for £350.

That is cheaper than some premier inns...

In that case, why would OP be bragging

User678945 · 09/03/2023 10:35

I would just respond by saying "we had to save up for it and it was worth it because we had a lovely time." Light and breezy.

Not convinced that if I gave up wine I'd be able to afford center parcs though.

DinnerThyme · 09/03/2023 10:36

jumperoobaby · 09/03/2023 10:33

@Oakorn chit chat would be 'isn't that nice, did you enjoy it' not making me feel guilty for going away for a weekend.

Who made you feel guilty? Are you always so sensitive? Nothing you said in the OP was anyone making you feel guilty.

DuvetDownn · 09/03/2023 10:37

I hardly think a three nights term time Centre Parcs stay is showing off.

Always4Brenner · 09/03/2023 10:38

No holiday for me too much hassle but I’d rather save for nice home things anything I want with my interests Christmas.

BarbaraofSeville · 09/03/2023 10:41

PuttingDownRoots · 09/03/2023 10:33

Within a few minutes I've found midweek centreparcs trips for 2 adults and a baby for 4 nights for £350.

That is cheaper than some premier inns...

Exactly. And PI doesn't come with a waterpark, woodland walks, wildlife etc on the doorstep.

Most people will have some disposable income even during the cost of living crisis, we can all see that people are still eating out, buying lunches, takeaways, coffees, beauty treatments, more than the basic minimum food, clothes, haircuts, phones etc.

So it's likely that many can still afford a weekend away and quite likely that there are other things the OP hasn't spent money on that her relatives have done.

AllOfThemWitches · 09/03/2023 10:44

OK but the thread is clearly a stealth boast 'I can afford a holiday because I managed to quit cigarettes and booze' which is great but I'm not sure why the friends and relatives needed to be dragged into it.

MrMarkham · 09/03/2023 10:45

People think it's ridiculously expensive because it is in school holidays.

Term time it's quite reasonable. I think they're just repeating what they've read without realising it's much cheaper outside of the holidays.

Anyway just ignore them!

Soonenough · 09/03/2023 10:45

I know where you are from and it is typical Begrudgery talk. 😁🇮🇪