Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh handled neighbours terribly?

303 replies

whippedlemons · 08/03/2023 22:37

Good Evening,

I thought I'd ask on here to gauge if I'm lacking in complete boundaries or if my husband over reacted.

So we recently moved into a ground floor maisonette, we have the back garden. The previous tenant was quite friendly with next door and he would let their children play in the garden etc. when next door fitted a conservatory they took down the whole hedge and built it on the boundary line so I look out my kitchen window directly to their conservatory wall. They left a space between the wall to the hedge so they have access to our garden. (E.g when they had chickens, they would wander around the garden (pre us moving in as they died a few days prior) )

At one point they've fitted a outdoor tap under my kitchen window (this was all previously so fair enough) and use the water from this flat (I'm guessing their on a meter)

Fast forward to now, we've moved in, made friends with them, I get along with the wife etc and I like her

He asked to use the water so I said yes few months back, but often would just walk through his garden through the gap to use it, sometimes daily.

Where as I didn't want to disrupt what they've been custom to for years my husband finds it incredibly invasive and hates it.

Well today as we were all eating dinner in our living room, we hear the water tap being used outside so my husband gets up without warning and basically has a go at him telling him to stop coming in without At least asking and he wouldn't like it if we just walked in their back garden doing what we want. He was quite aggressive the way it came across.

My husband said I lack boundaries and get walked over but I feel so awkward as we are not on a meter and don't see the harm as such (maybe they should ask each time, but if I say yes they probably assume what's the point)

So basically am I being unreasonable to be slightly annoyed at my husband for having a go at him? As I don't want things to be awkward when we've only been here a few months?

OP posts:
piedbeauty · 09/03/2023 12:23

I'd hate the neighbours conservator being right there. They must be able to see straight into your kitchen and lounge! Is the window/wall facing yours all glass?

Does it have planning permission to be so close? Have you checked/did your solicitor check when you were buying?

Barannca · 09/03/2023 12:33

don’t understand why the neighbour can’t just fit a tap on their property
Because they have a water meter and would have to pay for the water used OP doesn't have a meter
**

Clymene · 09/03/2023 12:39

@fUNNYfACE36 - the OP said the previous occupier was disabled and didn't use the garden. These people exploited that.

PuppyMonkey · 09/03/2023 12:57

So, okay, DH could have been less abrupt but I think getting an earful off someone is the chance you take when you are a CF soon something so obviously CF.

And where are the chickens now anyway?

PuppyMonkey · 09/03/2023 12:58

*doing not soon.

Ladybug14 · 09/03/2023 12:58

If the situation with the tap and access has been going along nicely for ages.... then you + your partner move in and are told about the tap/access situation but do nothing to stop it happening, and then, all of a sudden, your partner loses his shit and yells..... your partner is an idiot

But BOTH of you are idiots for knowing about the access/water situation when you moved in and doing nothing about it

whynotwhatknot · 09/03/2023 13:24

weird didn't think any ha property would allow adjustments to the building like taps . ibet he just put it there when they moved

TerribleInsomniac · 09/03/2023 13:58

fUNNYfACE36 · 09/03/2023 06:03

@TerribleInsomniac Why do you think that?Have you heard of prescriptive easements?

Yes I’m an architect.

TerribleInsomniac · 09/03/2023 14:10

TerribleInsomniac · 09/03/2023 13:58

Yes I’m an architect.

Ps.

The main reason is because the neighbours ‘asked’ for permission.

Englishash · 09/03/2023 14:13

Your husbands right. As time goes on you'll get sick of it too.

FictionalCharacter · 09/03/2023 15:20

bonzaitree · 09/03/2023 10:37

nonsense.

deeds are available to everyone on the land registry website for a normal fee.

Yes she can obtain them, but boundary issues are still for the landlord. That post mentioned a solicitor finding out about rights of way, which suggests that they thought she bought the property.

FictionalCharacter · 09/03/2023 15:22

piedbeauty · 09/03/2023 12:23

I'd hate the neighbours conservator being right there. They must be able to see straight into your kitchen and lounge! Is the window/wall facing yours all glass?

Does it have planning permission to be so close? Have you checked/did your solicitor check when you were buying?

They didn’t buy, they’re tenants. So no searches etc.

Jamroly · 09/03/2023 15:45

I can understand your DH getting annoyed but he could’ve been more diplomatic. Fix the fence asap and when neighbour queries it, tell him your children need a safe, secure space and the regular garden visits annoyed your husband. Or, just point him in the direction of your husband if he’s hassling you.

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/03/2023 15:50

SinnerBoy · 09/03/2023 11:16

Emotionalsupportviper · Today 08:12

Heh! This one was in Kok Tebe, Kazakhstan and not much less than waist high:

www.flickr.com/photos/48541674@N00/458896740/in/dateposted/

LOL!

I'd forgotten about those giant chicken breeds! 😀

They don't look as mean as the Shamo, though - but I wouldn't like to cross one. I fed a friend's chickens for a week on their allotment when they went on holiday. Innocently, I entered the pen when I had a scrape on my ankle . . . nobody had told me that hens have a blood lust - I thought I wouldn't get out alive! They literally smelled the blood and did their best to peck me to death, the little buggers. I had always thought that hens were gentle creatures . . .

Hersetta427 · 09/03/2023 16:01

I am completely with your husband here - they are CF's and you would have let them walk all over you like they did the last occupiers. Stand up for yourself and set some clear boundries (literally and figuaratively).

SinnerBoy · 09/03/2023 16:19

Emotionalsupportviper · Today 15:50

I'd forgotten about those giant chicken breeds! 😀

She was very happy to peck at corn through the fence, quite gently.

As for them being vicious, yo have heard of pecking order - they often bully one to death.

SinnerBoy · 09/03/2023 16:20

You, not yo - curses!

Roundandnour · 09/03/2023 16:44

Id also check with the HA about the upstairs person claiming they have a part of the back garden @whippedlemons

If it is shared then it needs to be established who would be liable for repairs etc.

Just because all these neighbours are telling you things doesn’t mean it’s right. Although personally I would say the chicken owners are the ones who should be financially responsible for repairs.

piedbeauty · 09/03/2023 17:03

Thanks, @FictionalCharacter. Just spotted that.

whumpthereitis · 09/03/2023 17:22

Presumably a commando squad of these got unleashed on the fence:
giphy.com/gifs/chicken-giant-gRF8hxsdoH9V6

Murdoch1949 · 09/03/2023 17:26

Sort your boundaries out to stop chicken or human incursions. You're nice once and neighbours expect to continue for ever. Team DH, he told them.

category12 · 09/03/2023 17:26

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/03/2023 15:50

LOL!

I'd forgotten about those giant chicken breeds! 😀

They don't look as mean as the Shamo, though - but I wouldn't like to cross one. I fed a friend's chickens for a week on their allotment when they went on holiday. Innocently, I entered the pen when I had a scrape on my ankle . . . nobody had told me that hens have a blood lust - I thought I wouldn't get out alive! They literally smelled the blood and did their best to peck me to death, the little buggers. I had always thought that hens were gentle creatures . . .

Nah, you've got to remember they're thought to be relative of dinosaurs - they're mini velociraptors. 😂

TerribleInsomniac · 09/03/2023 17:28

category12 · 09/03/2023 17:26

Nah, you've got to remember they're thought to be relative of dinosaurs - they're mini velociraptors. 😂

Was it a ‘Chicken Run’ moment.
Maybe they built a plane to escape

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/03/2023 18:04

whumpthereitis · 09/03/2023 17:22

Presumably a commando squad of these got unleashed on the fence:
giphy.com/gifs/chicken-giant-gRF8hxsdoH9V6

That rooster means business, doesn't he!

SinnerBoy · 09/03/2023 18:05

Emotionalsupportviper · Today 18:04

That rooster means business, doesn't he!

He does have the look of having, "What YOU Lookin' At?" engraved on his tombstone...

Swipe left for the next trending thread